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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

For any that breastfed or wanted to, how much help and encouragement did you get?

6 replies

kathryn2804 · 09/11/2008 21:09

I'm a breastfeeding counsellor and twin Mummy (3 1/2 years old now!!!) and I was just wondering what help and support you received/ are receiving in your area. My area has got a lot better lately so it'll be interesting to see

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swanriver · 11/11/2008 10:35

I didn't go to any postnatal twin groups so didn't really meet anyone else bfdng. West London, Acton. Health visitor gave good advice at beginning when I was desperate, or was it? Told me to alternate breast feed and bottle for each twin, as if I was feeding one baby. In the long run this was a bit counterproductive, but it did mean I kept going until they were weaned, and then cut out bottles completely, both were then completely breastfed from 6months, plus food. By the time they were 3 months I think health visitor assumed I must have stopped bfdng - she certainly didn't offer any further advice or support. Treatment for baby's reflux all made assumption that I was giving gaviscon in a bottle of formula. When questioned closely all professionals said it was good to bfd but they just assumed it wouldn't work out. I had a paid nannyhelper in the first 3 weeks as I had a toddler in tow, and I do remember HV encouraging me by saying, you should be able to bfd the twins however hard it seems because you have HELP. That did give me confidence to just get on with it. I think that HV need to support twinmothers by emphasizing less routine bfding/expressing etc which were all unworkable, and more feeding completely on demand in the day, babymoons etc. It was all treated as a bit of military exercise. The Hammersmith Hospital I suddenly remember was dreadful in the their early days support. They lost loads of weight in first week as my milk didn't come in, but noone listened to my desperate pleas for first top-ups, on pc breastfeeding grounds. Then, when they were underweight, told me to put them onto bottle! I felt so angry in the hospital. Nofding counsellor in hospital - she was at a conference for 3 days. No help with babies to allow me to sleep after a caesarian. Told to fill in all sorts of stupid forms by paediatricians. Only person to help was the nice lady who brought the food round. This was six years ago. I breastfed for two years just to get my own back on all these annoying officials and in fact anyone who had told me I was foolish to feed.

kathryn2804 · 11/11/2008 23:15

That showed 'em!! Well done for perservering. i don't know anyone who has managed to drop bottles at the weaning stage!! All the Mums I know who mixed-fed to start with dropped the breastfeeds instead. That's amazing. Have you ever though of becoming a breastfeeding counsellor? You'd be really useful to have around!!!

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kitstwins · 12/11/2008 12:30

Support? Pretty thin on the ground. I had to fight to get breastfeeding help in hospital in spite of the walls being plastered in 'Breast is Best' posters. And I was on a well-staffed private ward. My daughters were tube fed for the first five days as they were premature but I had to FIGHT in increasing and tearful desperation to get someone to show me how to express my milk. There was no initiative on the nurses' part to show me how to do it. They just stuck formula down the tubes. In the end an auxiliary nurse who came to take my blood pressure took pity on me when I cried "Will YOU help me feed my babies" and came back to show me how to express my colostrum. She spent an hour squeezing milk out of me and I've never forgotten her. But for her I think I'd have failed at it.

HOme was equally disastrous as my babies had a very weak suck reflex and so feeding was very hit and miss. One twin failed to latch on at all for the first two weeks (although I offered it to her at every feed). Once or twice she managed to latch on (instant celebrations all round when this happened as I foolishly thought 'That's it, I've cracked it!!') but fell off after 10 minutes because she was exhausted. So both twins got the ocasional breastfeed and a mixture of expressed milk and formula. My Midwife visits were pretty poor - I got visited three times in two weeks in spite of having premmie twins with feeding issues, caesarean complications (my scar opened at one end due to a haematoma and leaked blood for six weeks). This felt pretty crap given that I was a first-time mother with no clue of what I was doing, but I was told that the midwives were very busy. Friends with full term singleton babies in the next district got visited every day for ten days post birth so I guess it was just a question of postcode lottery, but it does make me quite angry. I felt very abandoned in those first few weeks post-birth and ended up having to take myself to my local A&E when my scar opened and bled as the midwives never called me back.

As for breastfeeding, I rang a local breastfeeding counsellor who was very nice and encouraging but couldn't help much. She turned up after a feed when the babies were asleep and although I talked her through what was happening she said that all I could do was perservere as it was a question of building up their strength. As she wasn't very local and the girls were feeding fairly on demand it wasn't possible to schedule a visit for a feed time, although I did call her again on the off-chance that she could come round for a feed but she wasn't available. So that was that.

In the end I reckon it was bloody-mindedness that got me through, along with my amazing maternity nurse who started after the first two weeks (I'd booked her from 38 weeks and my daugthers arrived at 35 weeks). The day she arrived I burst into tears and announced that I was giving up breastfeeding and she persuaded me to carry on expressing. She also encouraged me to give them the occasional 'top up' feed from the breast, which worked really well. It wasn't ideal as my milk did run out after 4 1/2 months as I know expressing isn't great for the supply, but I felt very happy with what I managed in the circumstances. In the end they got my milk, they got some formula, they put on lots of weight and they had lots of nice top-up feeds from me. And most fitting of all, the twin that had struggled so much with feeding in the start got my last feed. My milk was almost dried up and I figured I probably had a few more feeds in me and she and I lay on the sofa together and she drained me dry. And that felt like a fitting end. Not perfect and not what I imagined I'd achieve but when I look back I'm really proud of what I managed given my struggles and the lack of support.

I think breastfeeding twins is entirely possible and often a failure to breastfeed twins has nothing to do with a lack of milk but instead is down to a lack of support. And in my view it is the early days that this support is the most crucial. It's very hard to breastfeed twins, especially if they have poor suck reflex and/or low birthweight and often the mother gives up, not because she can't be bothered (I desperately wanted to breastfeed my daughters) but because she just can't see how or a way through it. It felt like such a battle, on top of everything else I was learning to cope with.

K

kathryn2804 · 12/11/2008 23:26

You are so right. It's nearly always lack of support. thanks for sharing that, and well done for doing what you did. you should be really proud!!

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twinmam · 23/11/2008 20:49

Totally agree with all of above. At the time everyone was really nice but seemed busy and I didn't like to be a bother. My DDs were in SCBU and I didnt get to see them for a day after their birth (apart from a brief glimpse when they were born before they were whisked away) by which time they were obv being tube fed. No one showed me how to express and there were no breast pumps on the delivery suite where I had to stay for two days as too ill to move. Eventually I was shown how to express by a lovely SCBU nurse but this was when the babies were about 4 days old. Manage to build my supply up and we had a few successful feeds in hosp but once home it got a lot harder! One DD never latched once we got home whereas the other one got q good so I was expressing for DD1, BFing DD2 and alternating formula each time as didnt have enough milk (realise now if I'd fed them more then supply would have increased - duh!) HV v nice but again busy and not much help really. We went to BF drop in clinic at hosp but had to walk there as post c-sec and DH at work during days and was so tired. getting out of the house was really hard and then at the clinic it was always - again - so busy and having two babies there made it really difficult - what do you do with one hungry baby whilst trying for ages to get the other one to latch! In retrospect I wish I'd shouted louder but as everyone seemed so nice I didnt like to pester them as they were so obviously busy. One to one help would have been ideal and if I had that time again I would even pay for a lactation consultant. I never felt I got the help or support I needed and gave up after 8 weeks feeling like a complete failure but also feeling a sense of relief...

kdk · 25/11/2008 21:49

LIke many of you I felt I never had the support I would have liked. In hospital (was in for 5 days after caesarian) midwifes were quite happy to see me try to bf but didn't offer much practical help - and one old bat made it clear she thought I was mad for even trying.

I was exhausted and had asked the nurses to cup feed the babies while I rested - though eventually ended up using top up bottles.

Wish I had tried to bf exclusively but didn't have the support and due to now ex H being rubbish was too tired to feed at night so used bottles.

Still I managed to combine feed until they were six months .. but like twinmam think if I had my time again would have paid for a lactation consultant and persevered!

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