Feeding 15 mo twins, need some tips please before I go mad!

[penona]

I have 15 mo DT and am really starting to struggle feeding them.

They last about 20 mins in their highchairs before getting bored and shouty. If I give them finger food (which I am not very imaginative with) they mostly play with it, hurl it on the floor, or at me. If I let them feed themselves with a spoon, it mostly ends up on the floor or all over their faces. So I end up shovelling something in after about 15 mins so that they actually have some nutrition in them, and it feels awful. My DH and I love food and eating, and it feels such a horrid battle with them it makes me really sad.

I have a few thoughts and wonder what difference they might make.

• we don't eat together, the dining table had to go to make room for a playroom, would this make a big difference? (with some expense we could make this work perhaps, there is enough room for a small table and chairs with handysitts or something in the kitchen)
• what sort of finger food could they eat? they love bread with hummus, but not alot else. I have made mini burgers/fishcakes but they just hurled them around and it made me rather cross!
• should they still be SO messy at 15mo? My mum was horrified, even my friends with children aren't nearly as messy as my two. Will they eventually learn how to eat with a spoon? Are some foods better than others? (They hate mash, which seemed an obvious choice!)
• Is it too late to look at some of the baby led weaning ideas? When I started weaning them I thought it was only for breast fed babies, so ignored it, but am now wondering if that might help
• the only thing they reliably eat is jar food, they love it.

Sorry is so long. I am just dreading meal times and wondered if anyone had any thoughts about how I could improve it. Two shouty things just is so much noisier!!!

it seems so long ago now (mine are 5.5) - but I think I was probably still shovelling in food at that age. And yes - messy about described it if I left them to their own devices.

I would shovel the main meal in and then leave them for say 10 mins with some finger food - anything they can pick up really - cheese, ham, veg, fruit, bread etc. Then clearly time to stop eating and clear away. If you can sit with them and eat a sandwich or whatever they are having it may help. Where do you eat ? Do they never see you eat ?

Obviously when I say leave I don't mean leave the room - I mean give them the food and then supervise and tell them not to when they throw it.

I am pretty sure mine weren't any good with spoons until about 2ish.

You could try with a for - show them how to spike the food with it.

I think twins can be much more chaotic when eating, I think they make eachother worse! Mine would delight in copying eachother, particulary when one placed their bowl of yogurt on their head - funny if I was in the mood, not when I was at the end of my tether!

Ignore parents and other parents - I think its a twin thing in terms of playing off eachother which singletons can't do. And mine couldn't use spoons until much nearer 2.

Err in terms of other foods - as throckenholt suggested - cheese, rice cakes, cucumber. You eating with them may well help - I used to have some toast with mine.

Have you looked at the Annabel Karmel guide to weaning? Or Gina Ford's one? They both have some good suggestions of safe finger foods and I used both of them for ideas..

Thanks for that.

I have the Ak book and followed it until about 9/10 mths, when my two still had no teeth and lots of the ideas needed them! Every time I get it out now I want to cry as it makes me feel so inadequate.

They love rice cakes, toast, some fruit. But not cheese (on its own or in anything, just about tolerate mac n cheese).

Am relieved to hear about the spoons, that makes me feel much better.

No, they rarely see me eating. I mostly eat when they are asleep, just a small snack with them (fruit or something). I love to sit and relax and enjoy my food, I have tried to eat with them but basically end up shovelling it in, along with theirs!

Totally different but when I ran 1 - 2 room in a nursery we used to have to feed upto 11 children at meal times.

I would def use a suction bowl so the bowl can't be picked up, give them a spoon and a fork - less chance of using their fingers not that it works and let them get on with it, help them if they're struggling but generally sit with them and chat to them as you do - if they are having some problems help them, but just let them be independent. If they play with their food, say no we use a spoon or fork and show them, but f they start throwing it, take it away from them for a minute before returning it, if hey do it again then feed them. Prise them for eating with a spoon/fork and ignore the fingers when picking up something like a pea or something fiddly.

have you tried:
meatballs
pasta swirls with pesto & philidelphia (makes it drier and less greasy to pick up)
fish fingers
sausages
cheese straws
oat and cheese pancakes (normal pancakes with 1 oz oats added. Make small ones, with grated cheese/spinach/peas in mix. Cut into strips to eat. (these freeze)
sweetcorn cobs boiled, cooled then cut into sections to chew

my DD is just about to turn 16 months and she loves finger foods. Do try and make sure she is pretty hungry though! Grated apple, cheese and sweetcorn pancakes also a winner. In fact, anything with cheese or pasta. Pear slices currently very popular as is veg curry. You could try pakora as you can use any amount of veg and they are dry if they get hurled around.

my top tip if she is not eating but messing around it to get her favourite toy and feed it at the same time as her.

good luck, cannot imagine having twins!

Twims - can you recommend any suction bowls? My DD has worked out how to prise them off the tray so that only gives me a spare few mins!
The children I know who eat really well go to nursery, so you must be doing something right. I will try your tips today! What sort of food might you give them to eat like this?

FLF - they love pasta with pesto, the cream cheese is a fab idea as it slips out their hands and they get all annoyed. They weren't keen on fish fingers but might try the other things. Thanks.

We served up anything and everything from a roast chcken dinner, to spaggetti bolognaise, to shepherds pie, to curry (mild!), soup,

Will try and find out what suction mats we used think they might have been tommy tippy?

I think what they will eat often depends on the child. My 1st son was a terrible eater and I felt useless!! He still is a fussy so and so(age 15)My twins are really good eaters and love fruit and veg & only drink water or milk. My elder son would never drink water without juice in it and prefers junk to fruit. I found the frozen mixed veg a good finger food thats easy to prepare. Ignore anyone who does not have twins. They know nothing of the way they can gang up on you to make you feel powerless. They encourage each other something rotten!! Try not to worry about what they eat as they definately pick up on this(easier said than done, I know).Even though my eldest is a fussy eater you should see the size of him!!!

www.greatbabyproducts.com/Stay_Put_Suction_Bowl_Set_p/munc-49003.htm.

Suction bowls above. We had some from Blooming Marvellous as well (you can order online) with suctionable cutlery but that was laughably easy to pull off for my girls!

Please don't let the Annabel Karmel etc books make you feel useless! I think most babies and toddlers have a phase of not eating/playing up at mealtimes and it is a lot harder with 2! My girls refuse most of her recipes! They loved imitating me though, so it might be worth having two sittings for your lunch - one where you eat bits of carrot and toast and one where you sit down and have another meal in peace. They would often grab bits of food off my plate, not knowing that was my cunning plan all along .

My DTs couldn't feed themselves with a spoon until they were at least 2. The food throwing and refusal sent me mental but looking back I worried far too much. Spoon in what you can then offer finger food. They will eat if they are hungry!

Mine started to eat a lot better when they sat at the table on handysitts with us, not sure if this was due to age or the change to seating. I found this book helpful for finger food ideas. Hang in there, I promise that one day you will look back on this stage and laugh!

Thanks for all your tips.
I went down to Ikea last night and bought their cheapy Antilop high chairs (what a bargain!) as they fit round the table, and today we have sat and eaten together. It was loads better! Well the eating wasn't (although they ate a tuna sandwich off my plate... ) but I felt more relaxed and enjoying it, it felt like a meal time should, not just me shovelling food in waiting for it to end. We laughed and made faces and talkd about the garden... so much better. I am sure bad times are ahead again but today was good

Will go on with the finger food ideas once the current teething is over!

Thanks.

Pleas don't feel bad about feeding them! WIth twins mealtimes really is a pita. I've only jsut stopped feeding mine their main meals and they are 3.5 They make so much mess it was jsut easier to feed them and it's only since coming back from holiday that I'm making the effort again to stop feeding them.

It does help eating toegether, but I also like a nice meal in the evening wihtout watching food getting smeared all over the table, so I don't really make a habit of it. They will get there eventually, but 15 mnths is def still too early to expect them to eat without making quite a lot of mess.

I found it a lot easier at that age to have a bowl of something to feed them from and some bread or something for them to hold and feed themselves with. You won't still be feeding them when they go to school, so don't worry too much about doing things to make life with twins a bit easier.

If you cant stand the mess, (or the waste) feed them yourself til they are older. If you're too lazy for that (like me) feed them finger food, v small quantaties of fairly dry stuff that isnt messy, like some of the suggestions above. In the evening we would always eat as a family at the table, which i think gets them used to the idea of table manners etc. Which always helps when you want to eat out.

Put food in front of them and ignore them. Stop feeding them and let them feed themselves with lickle baby cutlery. Worked for us, really did!

Pasta with tomato sauce and toasted cheese on toast was the only thing mine would eat. Frankfurters work well. and thumbs up for antilop! cheap as chips, why pay more?

pancakes with apple sauce on.

I think I agree with everything said - mine started to mess about at about 18 months, not eating anything offered - we too never ate together as we gave up our dining room to a playroom. One day the playing up and shaking of heads at every mouthful got too much, i placed a bowl in front of each, gave them a spoon and walked away (only into the lounge in ear shot).

Came back 5 mins later and they were tucking in heartily. Yes mess, but big smiles and full tummies. From then on I would have a bowl to feed from with food in, they would have a bowl each with a small amount in and a spoon each. As they attempted to feed themselves i would pop the odd mouthful in making sure that they at least had something but they were feeling independant enough not to mess about.

You need long sleeved painting overalls for meal time too (ones that can be machine washed) so you can relax a bit more about the mess.

Our staple diet was pasta and tomato sauce, sometimes mix tuna in to liven it up, fishfingers mashed up in beans with a mulshed potato waffle as well, sheps pie, bolognese, toast, porridge, yoghurt and if i was lucky sandwiches.

My two are also full time nursery goers so have learned all their table manners from there and also watching other kids of the same age eat.

Yum yum this thread is making me hungry. Especially the bit about mashed up fishfingers

Mealtimes were like Lord of the Flies. The three children aged 3 and two 1 yrs used to climb onto the kitchen table and dance around on it shouting. I now think they were extremely sensitive to the fact that I was not enjoying myself and not sitting down with them. When I learnt to engage them in conversation they tended to eat much better. All that food throwing was really attention seeking (twins love attention), not because they didn't want to eat it. However sometimes I think they genuinely didn't feel that hungry, and I was trying to make them eat unnecessary quantities of what I wanted. In the end, one liked pasta, cheese, raw veg, and the other liked mashed potato, avocado, ham and the third meat and fruit and tomato sauce. So they actually liked and disliked different kinds of food. Easy if you are cooking for three or even five (including adults), someone will usually eat something but infuriating when you are preparing a special meal for two toddlers.

Just want to echo some of these thoughts, really. All good advice. I'm afraid I was a terrible mum. I used to give them food and cutlery and let them get on with it. I stopped feeding my two when they were about a year old. In the early days there was a hell of a lot of mess, but by the time they reached 18 months, they were eating reliably by themselves. I would usually give a mixture of finger foods and mushy stuff that would required cutlery, so that they would be sure of getting something in their mouths if they were hungry.

One thing to bear in mind to save your sanity is that at 15 months, providing you are not adding salt to your cooking and provided you don't use a lot of convenience foods, you really don't need to prepare anything special for your DTs. They can have whatever you're having. I stopped preparing special food for my two when they hit 12 months and I stopped mashing food at about 14 months and gave it to them exactly as I had it, although cut up if it was large, obviously.

Also dispensed with plates and bowls unless strictly necessary (e.g. cereal and milk) and took to dishing up food directly on to the high chair tray. As long as it's clean, it's fine. Get a dog - rarely have to sweep up after meals in my house as the dog gets there first (this may be why, despite 3 walks a day, she's so fat???).

Swanriver's idea of eating together and talking definitely works. My two always eat with me, and if we have friends over, they eat even better again. They love being part of the group. If you don't have the space for table and chairs, etc., what about a chair and a laptray for you to sit opposite them at mealtimes?

Good luck. Twins are messy!!!!!!!!!

I wonder how your weekend went? Did any of the tips help? I've only just started eating with my 19 month old twins and it's really improved their habits. Still, I quake at mealtimes. The bit that makes me cry (actual tears some days) is when I'm crawling about under the table to pick up a bowl or spoon, and one of them leans down and grabs my hair with a yoghurt/pesto/peanutbutter hand. That is a real dark night of the soul moment. Don't mean to depress you, just to empathise!