Christmas: too ambitious??

[thankyouinadvance]

My twins are going to arrive at or before the end of November. For Christmas, I plan to take the train (with babies lying flat in carrycots) 1 hour to my parents’. The train is wide enough that the buggy won’t need collapsing. My husband and I plan to travel on 22nd, which we think might be the quietest day, and return on 27th as there are no trains on 26th. (My parents aren’t putting pressure on us.) Are we crazy? My concerns include: babies getting sick on the train and the fact we won’t have a clue what we’re doing yet will be away from home making it harder. But on the plus side, it will be nice having some support at my parents. Please could any responses be as useful/constructive as possible eg lived experience, advice from reliable sources.

Not having twins but I’m due at about the same time as you and I am also planning to travel to my parents for Christmas and my in-laws for new year. Approx 2 hours each trip.

We are buying a lie flat car seat so that we can drive and are going to take the next to me cot with us as well as the essentials we need.

Have also considered travelling by train and the option of DH driving and me getting the train with just essentials if the car is too difficult.

Can you book in first to have a bit more space? Or get one of your parents to come down and help you?

I think my mentality is that I know it will be difficult but I really want to make it happen so I can have time with family, and so I’m going to prepare as much as I can, and accept that it might be an uncomfortable couple of hours but it will pass.

Cue all the experienced mums telling us that we are totally mad! 😅

Are your DPs putting pressure on you to go and how do you feel about going @thankyouinadvance?

What would the alternative be if you didn’t go?

And have you talked through what those days there will be like with your DM? Is she fully expecting to help with things like feeding you, changing nappies and generally helping you out or is she looking for some help with Christmas from you?

I dont think anybody can tell you if it will be a good idea or not. A lot will depend on birth, if babies are well or not, how would you feel having to babies not sleeping and waking the whole house up? etc.
My first was a singleton and I was very ill after (ended up in itu) I wouldn't have been able to make that journey with 1 baby never mind 2 a month after birth.
With Dt I was up and about and doing the school run (30 min steep uphill) twice a day with dt within a few days (totally the opposite to first birth). However I had an induction and natural delivery (a c section would have been a longer recovery). I'm also mindful that twins second will be different to twins as a first birth. If I was you I would not promise anything but say you'll assess nearer the time (it will feel easier than backing out last minute).

Ladies, I salute you. There's no way I could have done this with one, let alone twins!

Personally I wouldn’t. Is there a reason your parents can’t come to yours? Or stay in Airbnb near by?

I think this will be too soon, could they not come to you or is that not possible? I had twins and had a c-section and definitely wouldn’t have been ready for this kind of journey less than a month later. The babies are also likely to still be needing almost constant feeding at that point.

You may be different though - is it something you really want to do? Could it be left open, to decide nearer to the time? Also you will need A LOT of stuff for two babies for 5 days, the logistics of transporting that on the train, along with two newborn babies, shouldn’t be underestimated.

I’d hold off any decision for as long as you can.

That sounds just too soon - most bodies takes a few months to recover , the babies will be so small , it will be lovely to have a calm Christmas with your new family

I’d say absolutely keep it as an option, but also have an alternative.

At 6 weeks after a single birth I wouldn’t have been physically capable of that journey, but plenty of others would.

It’ll be fine, you’ll have a lot of stuff and might need to collapse the buggy if other people are already using the space for luggage etc.

It’s an hour, you’ll be fine. Choose a tiny where they are likely to be sleeping, get parents to meet you.

if you are bottle feeding you can do cold water sterilising with tablets over christmas so don’t bother taking the steriliser. Plan to buy nappies and wipes there (get parents to buy them in advance), take enough clothes but also get them to buy the washing powder etc you use at home so that things can be washed.

can they sleep in the carricots over night? Ours you could and that made life easier.

I wouldn't be so sure 22nd will be quiet. Many people may be travelling home at that point.

If youve had a section you might not be able to. Can't parents come to you?

I wouldn’t, I haven’t had twins but after my first birth my stitches were still too sore at 4 weeks post birth (they had to cut) and after my c section with my second a busy train at 4 weeks post partum would have been a nightmare. It will be busy and hard to get a seat and then the added faff of luggage and presents, plus you don’t even get your own Christmas morning at home with your twins for the first time! It’s a no from me.

Also they will make you collapse the buggy if the train is too busy, which it is quite likely to be

Don't forget that you may be recovering from an unplanned Caesarean section (more common with twins than singleton births - something like 59% of twin births involve a caesarean, sometimes only for twin two so you have a vaginal delivery and a caesarean to recover from simultaneously).

The babies are only a part of the equation - you might not be well enough to be remotely comfortable on a train journey.

The other question is whether you want to breastfeed - if you do, this makes travel easier once it's established, but in the first few weeks (and especially if you had a caesarean which can make positioning the baby difficult as often your uterus goes down slower) it can be almost impossible to breastfeed in any way that could remotely be called discreet, and the initial qeeks of breastfeeding can be somewhat frustrating and difficult to cope with in someone else's home.

I’d wait and see how you feel after they are born before you commit to anything. Five days with family when you’re exhausted, sleep deprived, emotions are all over the place and recovering from birth seems like a lot.

The train will be fine. Can you post up a box of supplies in advance so you don't have so much to carry?

I'd be more worried about how it will be at your parents. Mine would be trying to 'help' all the time and I would get stressed if the babies were crying and I wasn't sure how to settle them and my mum was hanging around getting me all flustered. Or when I got up in the night she would appear wanting to help and make me a cup of tea and have a discussion about sleeping habits and all when I just wanted to do my own thing with minimal fuss.

But maybe I'm weird and that's exactly the sort of help you're looking for

Honestly, it’s a few days, you might be a bit uncomfortable in the train, there will be stressful moments but it’ll be a damn sight easier than doing this with one year olds.

if you aren’t recovering well then you make another plan, hire a car, they come to you, you postpone Christmas a bit

Where are you planning on putting your babies on a train lying flat in carry cots? Unless you have specifically cleared this with the train line you will be using, I don't see how you think it will be possible unless you have booked two side by side seats for each baby. (Generally trains will allow you to keep buggies up in a wheelchair space IF there are no wheelchair users who need them, but you can't guarantee that, and neither can you guarantee that another buggy user won't put their buggy their first which they have every right to do!)

Have you decided yet @thankyouinadvance?

Personally I wouldn’t be going anywhere for Christmas unless I could drive within an hour. I would want to be in the comfort of my own home so soon after my babies birth.

my ds was born in December and it took me all my might to get up ready, organised and out the door for 3pm dinner, with the second it was a doddle, but not with a first baby.

A one hour drive door to door I might but absolutely not the train. Far too busy, you must have
quite a large pushchair as it’s twins and what if train is heaving when it gets to your stop? I’m assuming you aren’t the first stop of the route. How are you getting to the station?

At a few weeks post partum with my first I was certainly out and about but coming back to feed and zone out on my sofa after a few hours. Comfort of my own home, where I knew where everything was. Can they not come to you? Even if they don’t stay with you and get a bnb or something.

Personally I wouldn’t. I’ve had 3 c sections, I was still taking it easy at that stage and bleeding loads. Changing bloody pads, covered in milk. Couldn’t walk very far or stretch my torso up or down

I have twins. They came early, one had long term jaundice. I’d just keep an open mind. I don’t think I’d have been able to do that at that point as I was still finding my feet and getting used to breastfeeding two very different demanding babies. It’s much better than going by car though at least you can move around etc x

I think the trains are likely to be busy and really wouldn’t want to take 2 small unvaccinated babies into that environment. Particularly at that time of year when there will be lots of coughs and cold around, and access to healthcare can be difficult due to the bank holidays