As a twin mum I’m giving up

[Cokefirst]

First time mum to 15 month old (13.5 months corrected) twin boys who I of course love to bits.

They have recently dropped their nap to one nap a day, which is at 12-1:30pm. Then they’re awake and active 1:30-7/7:30pm.

I am alone for most of that time (DH gets back from work at 6-6:30), and now that long stretch of 5-6 hours wake time gets me so shattered and frustrated that by the time it’s their bedtime I can’t even enjoy a tiny bit of time to myself. DH is hands on when he’s home but I’m so over stimulated that I crash out soon after the twins sleep.

They used to nap 9:30-10am and 2-4pm which gave me a break in between the day but I tried to drop it to one nap and I’m going crazy. Any help

Firstly what you are fancying is tough so all your feelings are totally legitimate and no one person could do this without feeling stressed. Can you get them out for a bit - that always used to make me feel better. Either to a park or for a coffee and cake somewhere as I’m sure people would coo over them and at least you would get a coffee. Don’t be afraid to use media to allow you to do stuff and my motto (not twins but 3 under 4) was ‘this too shall pass’ and it does and things get easier.

Find a mum friend who can meet on days you are with them. 3 toddlers and 2 adults is much more manageable, and it's easier to get out. They still leg it in different directions, but normally 1 out of 3 isnt trying to do anything too harmful
...

It's hard even with one.

One thing to say it does get easier. My twins are 3 and do play for short periods together now. I second getting them out and about it's the only thing that keeps me sane. At that age I had a favourite small fenced in quiet playground and or small soft play I would take them to. Also toddler groups are great as normally secure with other mums on hand to help out a twin mum. But it is difficult, mine stopped napping all together at just over 2

I used to leave the house two or three times a day. Only way to stay sane and keep the house clean. One outing for them (playpark, playgroup, soft play, music, etc.) One outing for you. Trip to the supermarket, visit to a friend so you can have a bit of adult chat while the DC 'play together' or just another trip to the park to tire them out. In winter, I'd sometimes just get on a bus or train so they could watch what was going on in the world for a while.

Home around 4.30pm. Play with them for half an hour on the rug, then put them in the playpen with some music while you prep dinner. Or put CBeebies on so you can have a cup of tea in peace, then feed and bathe them, PJs on.

It is a very exhausting time of life and it feels endless at the time. But you will survive it.

I’m not surprised you’re ready to crash! This is a really impossible stage - they’re no doubt mobile and getting more mobile & physical each day but don’t have an ounce of common sense or reason. Plus there’s something to do with getting past the first year and thinking it’s going to get easier when, actually, it’s just a different set of challenges.
What are they like in the pushchair? Can you take them for a walk in that each afternoon so that they are contained and, depending on the pushchair, may be fairly separate from each other?
I don’t know what your views on screens are but CBeebies or something can be a lifesaver. Mine used to have 30 mins after lunch when I tidied up and then the same again after tea. And do they have seats in the bath? We used to do really long bath times as they enjoyed them and there was only so much chaos they could cause when they were in the bath.

I had twins. My evenings were great. 5-6pm eating. By that time they could feed themselves and it took ages. They would sit in high chair and mess about with food for an hour, a spoon or two, some plastic bowls, mostly playing. After they'd 'eaten', 6-6.45pm was a nice long bath to clean them up and entertain them. Put them in with lots of toys and let them play in the water (good sensory play) for ages. It kept them so happy and distracted. Dry off, stories and bed...they were tired, well fed and happy! The advantage at this age is that they could play with each other but too young to really fight/ argue.

Mine dropped to one nap at 15months too and tbh I was much happier when this happened because it meant we could get out more. The two naps were awkward and meant we were limited. Try to find places where you feel safe and comfortable - even if it’s just getting out for 30mins in the afternoon it helps. Story books and long lunch after nap - also bath time fills up time. And finding another mum for play dates is ideal but I have t found it easy to find many. My twins are 20months now and for some reason it feels much easier than 15months - but I think the good weather is helping. I wouldn’t use screens - it’s a quick fix and slippery slope. You need to think long term - screens will just make them less able to play independently and amuse themselves later on. Maybe tv once a week on a Friday afternoon as a break and treat for you too! But defo not everyday.

Oh lovely, being a mummy is hard work.
I feel for you, I had my twins while I had 5 children aged 5 and under. I had no help and their dad well he was a horrid man (I was in a horrible abusive relationship, we had to up and run miles away for our own safety) so I can honestly relate to how you're feeling.
It does get easier, not helpful right now I know.
Get yourself into a routine with their play time so you can sit and watch with a cuppa or take them out for a walk if they're getting rowdy, helps you clear your head.
Don't be afraid to adjust your bedtime even if its seems earlier so you can get a good sleep and feel refreshed in the mornings.
Get a bath for a bit of you time when your husband is home.
Most of all be kind to yourself, don't be hard on yourself x

It does sound hard @Cokefirst

I found that age hard as they are doing more and understanding more but their speech isn’t always there so they get frustrated.

Now that they are on one nap a day are you able to get them out in the morning a bit more?

How recently did they drop to 1 nap? I found (with my singleton and twins) when moving from 3 naps to 2, then 2 to 1, initially the total nap time shortened as they adjusted, but then settled back to the same overall duration as before.

I’d be hoping they might start to sleep a bit longer for the 1 nap - more like the 2.5 hours they were doing across 2 naps. That in itself would give you a bit more time to have a breather