Panic stricken

[breakfastdinnerandtea]

I found out yesterday that we’re expecting twins, I have two older children from a previous marriage who are teens. It was a huge shock since, during this pregnancy, I’ve not felt as sick as in my previous. And I feel like I’m not even growing (I am overweight so it hides a fair bit but my tummy doesn’t even feel hard in places I’d expect it to). I was more sure the sonographer was going to tell me that I’d had a MMC but there they were, clear as day.
I cried out of sheer panic. My husband is also a worrier is also completely stricken.
What are we going to do? I didn’t want twins, I didn’t want 4 children. I don’t know if we can afford twins! I don’t know if I could cope with twins. I had PND after DD and DS and that was just coping with 1 at a time! I had so many plans in my head of what I would do with this baby but it’s all gone out of the window. I wanted to breastfeed since I couldn’t with DD or DS and now I feel that that’s gone too. If I couldn’t BF 1 baby how am I going to manage 2 at a time?
Everyone keeps saying it’s lovely news but I think it’s only lovely when it’s happening to someone else.
How did everyone else cope please? I’m so so scared.

Look up La Leche League for breastfeeding advice, they were such a huge support to me with my little one. The best time to start going to meetings is before he babies are born.

I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time at the moment.
I’ve just had twins, they are not 12 weeks old. I was happy but also terrified when I found out I was having two.
I’m not going to lie, it’s hard. But it is also amazing and you will fall into a routine with them.
I have a 2 year old as well and it really is chaos sometimes. How do your older children feel? As teenagers they may be able to help you out?
With regards to breastfeeding… get help if you can. I am EBF my twins. I am lucky that there was a free lactation specialist service in my area I reached out to. If you are on Facebook join the group “breastfeeding twins and triplets UK” and ask any help there. Get help from everyone and anyone, you need time to breastfeed so all other jobs/chores need to be allocated to everyone else in the house so you can focus on breastfeeding for the first few weeks if possible.
With regards to PND, did you get help at the time? If so what was useful for you? Can you tap into that help again? Speak with your GP and Midwife and look at getting some support in early. get therapy if you can and haven’t done already. Be kind and look after yourself.
I am only 3 months in and I can say it’s been tough but actually not as tough as I thought it could be! Yes there has been some difficult moments and I’m sure there will be more to come but we are alright.
Good luck xx

Thank you for the reassurance.

My older children thought it was hilarious when we first told them. I think they’re excited though, but apprehensive which I guess is how we are all feeling (apart from my poor husband who is terrified).
My parents live elsewhere in the country but I think my mum would like to come over and stay for a few weeks to help out, which would be really useful, especially if I have to have a section (which I’m hoping to avoid!).

I will look around for a breastfeeding consultant. I didn’t really have that resource available with DC, I feel like my want to breastfeed was a bit dismissed, so it could be very useful now as my confidence with it is rock bottom.

My twins are now 17 but I still remember the panic of finding out there was two of them!

it’s an experience that most people don’t get to have. The twin bond is very special. You might not have the experience with birthing and feeding that you want but you will have other experiences that you don’t get with having a singleton.

It’s also a bonus that you aren’t a first time mother. You can do most tasks with the babies at once so it’s not double the work.

Just to add I also had twins with a 2 year old and managed to EBF. It was a tough time mentally and financially but also incredibly rewarding.

My twins had tongue tie so it was a challenge to feed but I had a private breastfeeding specialist come to the house and those couple of sessions were worth their weight in gold.

Best of luck