What age do twins get easier? What’s the hardest?

[Stillhoping1990]

my twins are 17months - not yet fully walking which tbh find hard because they both need me to hold their hands. However both sleep through now and in a good routine. So far I’ve found the newborn stage the hardest and it has got easier. But does it get hard again in the ‘terrible twos’ ? Im wondering if I should plan ahead and put their names on nursery list for age 2 so I can get a bit of a break.

It’s very subjective. My twins are 4 and don’t sleep the night still and I’m a single parent. I found 0-2.5 the easiest - loved every second - 2.5-4 now they talk back argue and physically are stronger I find much harder

My twins are 3.5 and we are having a lovely time at the moment. We have a 5 year old aswell and they are all playing together etc and we are finally enjoying it !

being toilet trained and more communicative helped us a lot !

A giant YES to nursery. Fwiw I found things easier after three - speaking, potty trained etc.

OK first I'll say - so far it seems like twins are never easy, at any age, but you are a goddess, a warrior and a queen! Personally: newborn to age 1 was quite hard, as this was all during lockdowns and the isolation of covid. I found age 1-2 was a good year because they couldn't open doors and played adjacently for long periods in one room. Age 2.5 - 3 was difficult, because they got into everything, pulled the house apart, and when outdoors, they ran off in different directions at every opportunity!
Both boys went to nursery 2 days a week from age 2 and although I missed them it was a great opportunity for them! And boy did I need the rest!!
Age 4-4.5 (where i am now) is nice. Hard work but nice. This may be circumstantial - we have moved from a tiny flat and into a house with a garden! They want snacks a lot more, they make more mess, they demand that I find random small tiny toys they had out 3 wks ago. And there can be jealousy. Everything is meticulously planned in advance to avoid jealously.
BUT they chat now, they play together, they enjoy eachothers company (and yes they fight). When I hear them talking to eachother instead of talking at me, at the same time, it melts my heart. 😊
I think a few hours of nursery at age 2 is a good idea, as it takes everyone out of their bubble a bit, and shakes up the routine. If you're anything like me, routine is my only weapon, and that can be very boring 😊
Let the nursery get splattered with paint and messy play. Have some time for you 🩷🩷
Now my boys do 3 days at nursery, and I have my time part time job, I drink full cups of tea while still hot. I get to speak to grown ups. Etc. The joy! 😄

Love that everyone in the Multiples chat starts replying from 05:33am. We got this 😄

Mine will be 3 in June. By far I found the most difficult stage was under 12 months. There are different challenges now, like 2 toddlers who run, have their own minds, potty training etc. But as they can communicate well we can normal negotiate this to some degree now. Or just sit and laugh at them. Like last night after swimming trying get shoes back on and both thought it hilarious to hide their shoes! Hence sticking to time schedules never happens- we get there eventually!

I find they need lots of exercise/activity to stimulate and wear them out. But as they have each other if I set up things for them to do or take them to the park etc they will play together well. I actually find leaving them to play with supervision easier than my older DD at this age as she was an only child she wanted me to join in the play all the time.

They do go to nursery 2 days per week- started just before they were 2. And I do think this has helped their development- they were very clingy to me prior (wouldn't even go to close friends who they have know all their lives). And allowed me some space away and to return to work too.

Definitely go for nursery at 2 even if it's just a couple for mornings a week to give you a break. I didn't have terrible twos -not everyone does. I really noticed the difference when they hit 4 and it suddenly got easier although it will get easier before that as well.

Oh and mine are 18 next month so you will make it through! Despite all the trials to come it is never as hard again as it is in the early years.

My boys are nearly 18, when they were 2-3 they just used to run off in different directions so that was tough, I distinctly remember them becoming much easier around 7 because they started to look for me and wanted to stay nearer when we were out and they actually listened to me 😂. I was really strict up to about 10/11 and it certainly paid off in the teenage years, they're off to uni later this year and have become lovely young men (although they still fight and wind each other up no end). When i think back to when they were 2 I don't know how we did it.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply - I appreciate how busy you all are with your twins!
I am finding it a bit easier now they’re a bit bigger because I can do more with them and they’re getting alot more from the classes I take them to and playgroups. The baby stage was very long and tiring days with nothing to do and the sleepless nights were horrendous.
I currently have them down to start nursery at age 3 but I’m starting to think that was very ambitious of me! I do need a break. None of the nurseries near me offer any twin discounts and it’s so expensive - I was hoping to wait it out until they’re 3 so we can get some free hours. It’s very hard work and I’ve actually injured my knee this week from all the running around! My whole body aches at the end of each day! But we do have a lot of moments of joy in between the tantrums.

Aw I'm sorry you've injured your knee that sounds awful, and it's SO impacting to have a physical injury when you're caring for twins.

I slipped 2 discs last year, so badly thay I was hospitalised for 2 days. The recovery at home was slow but it would have been much quicker if I didn't have giant twins to look after. (One was 23kg at the time and still needed picking up / lifting a lot due to their special needs).

I'm all better now thank goodness.
I hope you can get help and time to recover your knee.

May I suggest approaching HomeStart to ask for a volunteer? They might be able to give you the break you need and deserve. One of Homestart's criteria / aims is supporting parents of multiples. Here's a link:
https://www.home-start.org.uk/twins-triplets-and-many-children

I should say, I applied to have a volunteer for this myself, not so long ago, but sadly since I live in a very populated area of London, they couldn't even put me on the waiting list due to huge volume of need where I live! So that was a bummer but hey ho.

Its worth having a look and approaching your local branch if there is one. I've heard really nice things.

I think I might volunteer for this charity when the kids are older. If I'm still physically functioning. 🫠

Wishing you all the best with your little ones you sound like a lovely mum.x

Mine are 6 and life is wild! Their behaviour is awful. But they are the most beautiful, loving girls.

Update - my twins will be 2.5years next month- they talk a lot now and both walking. But I’m still finding it very hard - there is a lot of whining and repetitive demands - sometimes I have to wear earphones. They won’t be starting nursery until September- so just 5 months to go and I feel so guilty counting down the time! We have some really fun delightful moments but it is still very hard work. I’m hoping nursery and age 3 maturity helps. I’m very tired most of the time from being emotionally drained and physically burnt out. x

Yes nursery does help for your own wellbeing which is so important to be able to cope with them the rest of the time. It won’t be like this for ever, it does get easier.

Don’t feel guilty, you are just exhausted and it’s understandable.

Ha ha, mine are 44 and it’s not easier just different!!!

Mine are nearly 19, of course it’s harder for a mum with two 2.5 year olds or have you forgotten just how difficult the early years were? Surely a little sympathy for the poor exhausted mum above is what is needed here.

Mine are 15 now which brings a whole different ballpark. For me we didn't have terrible twos, we had threenagers. When they’re small get reins. It makes life much easier. Mine really are best mates now and it makes life much easier.

We never had the terrible twos, they were quite easy until early teens but even then not so bad in the grand scheme of things.
Reins were a lifesaver for me, I was able to hang on to them safely, or one walking and the other in the buggy. They were also very fast on their feet so I didn’t need to be running in opposite directions.
You’ll develop the great skill of being able see in all directions when they get mobile.

Mine are 15 too.

0-3 was really hard. 3-14 was wonderful. Now at 15 they’re moving away and becoming their own people which is exciting and sad in equal measure. I also have a 19 year old who’s coming out the other side so I know it’s not forever.

I put my 2 in nursery a couple of mornings when I didn’t need to for my sanity.

Def put them in nursery OP. It's a life saver.

Mine were in nursery 2 days a week and I had a phone call from the manager to say there were spaces available on another day and did I want them to go.

We were having a really lovely, unusually stress free day at the time, and I said "oh no, they grow up so quickly, I'm enjoying them ....".

The next day I rang her back in tears begging for the spaces 😁

They're 25 now and best of friends, despite living a long way from one another. Our house is too quiet and tidy these days.