More children

[Amzz82]

I’m 27 to a 5 year old and a 2 year old.
When did you know to stop at 2 children?
My heart is saying just one more, my head is thinking I can’t afford it. My husband doesn’t want but sometimes when I mention it he mellows to the idea.
But what made people stay at 2 children? And how did they find having 3?

Can you afford it?
Do you have enough space?
Is your employment secure?
What will 3 give you that 2 won’t?

Have you actually got more money?

If not, the money you do have is getting diluted every single child isn't it?

Less kids, more money for existing kids. How's your pension/kids house deposit/uni fees looking?

I wouldn’t be so concerned about money, as long as the house you are currently in will fit another child in it (or you can afford to move if it doesn’t). Most other things you will tailor your finances to without necessarily realising it IME (we have three).

I would be more concerned about time. I find three difficult to give enough time to. Three lots of 20 min reading / homework each night ontop of after school clubs for three and Saturday clubs for three, three wanting “mama time” of cuddles and reading etc often mean I feel all im doing is going from one child to the next without any time for myself anymore. I don’t get much 1:1 time per child and life does feel like one big juggle.

just To clarify, I would still have three…but personally I have had to give up a bit on having a tidy house, helping / pushing the kids academically, generally expecting day trips or activities at home to not be chaotic etc. you can’t be a perfectionist with three. My sil says she can tell which families have three as three a certain kind of chaos / abandonment about them. The kids have to sink or swim a bit more on their own. Personally I feel this is good for them in the long run, but it’s not for everyone