Preparing for twins

[LottieR92]

Hi everyone,

I’m a single mum (to be) and expecting twins.

I’m at the exciting stage of shopping for baby things and preparing for their arrival and would appreciate any advice on things that helped you! I’m trying to decide whether to get a tandem or side by side pram and whether to sleep the babies together or separately. I like the idea of sleeping them together but I think(?) it would need to be in a large cot whereas Moses baskets might be more convenient for the portability? Is there anything else you’d recommend buying to make life easier?

I’m also thinking about what paid support I might be able to get being a single mum with no family nearby. I’m not rich but could afford to get either a cleaner twice a week (but conscious it means running around to tidy up for them) or a doula/mother’s help for a couple of hours twice a week to allow me to get a shower and maybe help with housework too (or would they only help with things related to baby?). Alternatively I could stretch to a night nanny once a week but as I’m breastfeeding I’m not sure how worthwhile that will be. What would you have found most valuable?

Thanks in advance!

Hi there I have 8 year old twins... Congratulations! I would put them separately, both in pram and cot. Whilst not very big when born( not guaranteed though) ime twins grow FAST. mine could no longer share a cot before 3 months as they ran out of room x

Oh and DEFO get the night nanny in if you can afford it as a single mum you will need to grab rest when you can.

And the cleaner. Infact get all the help you can. My mum delivered an evening meal to me every evening plated up for the microwave ( she lives close) and it was a godsend.

Hi, I'll soon have a new born and a 14 month old, so no personal experience of twins but maybe the next closest thing? I did a lot of research and have gone with a second hand bugaboo donkey. They are really expensive new but there are several group on fb where people sell them second hand which are much more reasonably priced. They also easily convert to a single buggy in case you had one baby out with you on a particular outing.

I just used a next to me for all the naps, so maybe worth getting a couple of them, again good to buy second hand as they are only used for under 6 months (get a new mattress though).

Hello from a fellow single twin mum! 👋🏻

Recommend a twin feeding pillow, I didn't BF but this was still a necessity for me! I didn't have an expensive one, just a £20 one from Asda. Actually ended up buying two so I had one to take out with me when visiting people.

Twin buggies can be a minefield but I went with the mountain buggy duet, it is narrow enough to fit through standard doors and meant the twins could be side by side.

If you can afford it, definitely look into a cleaner or anything/anyone that can help so you can focus on your babies/grabbing a shower.

Look into whether there's a Homestart in your area, there wasn't one in my area but my twin mum friend in the next town over had one. Essentially a very lovely lady (DBS checked) would come over to the house to lend a hand (free of charge) with simple things like helping you get out of the door if you need to go somewhere! Things like this logistically are challenging when the babies are small, there's two of them and one of you!

Also look on Facebook to see if there's a multiple parents group operating locally. Mine meet every Friday and it's great to be in an environment with other parents (twins, triplets, quads) of people who get it's a different level of challenge to having a single baby!

I had two next to me cribs, the twins slept together for the first couple of weeks in one but then I put them separately, one on each side of the bed as they were waking each other at night. The cribs were a good size so they slept in them until around 6months when I moved them into their bedroom and their own cots.

Despite the narrative (besides double the amount of nappies, wipes and clothes!) you don't need two of absolutely everything. You may find one twin likes something and the other doesn't, so just roll with it.

It is tiring, and intense doing it alone but it does get easier as they get bigger (in some ways!) so take any chance to rest when you can. The best thing I did was focus on getting the twins into a sleep routine where they napped, fed and slept at the same time. It meant that there were windows in the day where I could just take a moment and breathe.

Also, don't feel the pressure to go to every mum and baby group. It can be tough just getting out of the door, your early days of motherhood will be different to many at these groups who may have a single baby to look after and a partner at home who is helping out... so preserve your energy.

Xx

Mine got a lot of comfort from sleeping together (until they were over 4 years). Next to me forever is big enough for them both for ages.

Snugglbundl for portability.

Definitely side by side. Out n about is the best.

I second what @needahandholdpls said about not getting two of everything!
And about the big V pillow to help support both of them. Getting two latched on was like herding cats 🤣 especially as they were tiny and my boobs were humongous!

Mine slept together in a large cot, I used grobags for them to sleep in.

I had a little sofa to feed them on during the night next to the cot as feeding two was VERY tiring!
I also kept snacks there 🤣 so I didn't have to go downstairs for everything.

Had one pop up cot downstairs for them to nap in (again, to avoid traipsing upstairs).

We had 2 of those little bouncy chairs and popped them in them when I had a bath or was cooking. They liked to look at each other and kind of entertained each other.

Loads of nappies and onesies needed 😩.

If you can get some frozen meals in advance , do. You'll be too tired to cook.

Tbh those first few months are a bit of a blur due to tiredness.
BUT omg later, after 6 months or so, what a delight. And the exploring, walking with each other was probably easier with two. They entertain each other!
We had a Spanish brand buggy called a Jane (pronounced hanney) as I needed to get about London on a bus.
Be prepared for many adoring comments and requests to hold them. I let my twins sit on many a teen school kids lap for a cuddle!

Ps. Take them to places where you can sit and they can run. Thoroughly recommend British Museum cafe on ground floor! Or any park.
Accept any help.

Oh yes @gettingolderbutcooler - good point about the grobags / sleep bags. They were brilliant, as I didn't want the worry of blankets being kicked off/going over their faces especially when they slept together. Also if you get different styles, it can help for those bleary eyed middle of the night feeds to know who is who 🤣 (mine are ID so that was an issue in the early days!)

Mine are 3 and I still use them!

Also OP, get your hospital bag packed early. Many twin pregnancies run smoothly but it's always advisable to prepare for an early labour and possible extended stay in hospital stay. (Not saying this to worry you at all, but it's always good to be prepared especially if you're on your own). Make sure you have snacks, cosmetics, tablet with some decent shows loaded... etc. x

How are you getting in with the shopping @LottieR92?

I wonder if rather than a night nanny (££££) it would be better to stretch to more hours from a babysitter or mothers help in the morning eg 8am-12 so you can sleep then at home while someone takes them out (and you wont hear them in the house and have them wake you with crying )