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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

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Original poster

3 under 3

11 replies

IndiaMay · 12/12/2024 15:58

I had a small bleed Saturday so had an appointment at the early pregnancy unit this morning to double check everything was ok, I'm around 6/7 weeks. Id had a small bleed with my first baby at 6 weeks and a scan then to check all was ok so although I was naturally a little nervous, I was hopeful all would be fine. After the scan she explained to me there was two babies with good heartbeats measuring well etc. I was very upset, in absolute shock.

There's a few things. I enjoyed my pregnancy with my first so much and now I'm terrified to do a twin pregnancy with a 2 year old. I was so looking forward to having a family of four, my DD helping with the baby but not being overlooked etc.

I also, and I hope I'm not judged for this, had a termination when my DD was 9 months old because I couldn't face 2 under 2. After DD turned 1 I did regret that termination and have struggled with it ever since (it is not on the table for the twins). We got ourselves together financially and mentally to have another baby and now it's a real kick to be doing 3 under 3.

I had a weird inkling it was twins. I had absolutely no pregnancy symptoms with my first but so far I have had a few days of light nausea but not terrible with this pregnancy and I've just gone off food completely. I suppose my first pregnancy test was quite dark. I'm worried I'll get sicker.

I just don't know what we're going to do. We do have an absolute abundance of help from family. We are so loved but my god, I like my independence and my first baby was so good, sleeping through from 10 weeks, so easy and able to stay at grandparents early. I'm not sure how to cope with two.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Nc546888 · 12/12/2024 16:45

This happened to my cousin, she had second baby and it was twins. She had 3 children under 2 for a few months. She had her mum around an hour away so had a bit of help. Her husband is really good too. They still say it was the toughest year of their lives but much more manageable now they are past 12 months.

good luck OP you can do it x

Donimo · 12/12/2024 19:32

My twins were born just after my eldest turned 3. I'm not going to lie it is hard. A twin pregnancy and having twins is completely different from having a single. However they are great now at playing together, and all 3 are so close. But take whatever support is available to you.

You will be in shock at the moment so give it time to sink in. I think it took my dh until the twins were home from hospital for it to sink in for him!! Any questions happy to answer them

Holidayhappiness · 12/12/2024 19:36

I had similar OP - my first child was 2 and a half when my twins were born. It was hard work and you will definitely need support but it gets better and they are a lot of fun as well as hard work! As the PP says, you’ll be in shock at the moment but DC1 will be that bit further on with their development when the twins arrive and my LO loved helping’ with her brothers.

Original poster

IndiaMay · 12/12/2024 21:22

I'm just so gutted. I don't feel like I'm going to enjoy pregnancy or having my last baby at all.

Plus my poor DD.

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Donimo · 13/12/2024 12:29

I had to effectively grieve the change having twins meant. But you will honestly be fine and love the dynamics of 3 similar aged children. The bond between my 3 girls is beautiful to watch and nurture.

Give it some time to come to term with the difference that having twins means. In terms of your DD, my older DD honestly loves having twins I think more than having a single sibling. As when they were little she loved being an extra mummy. She would love to rock 1 twin in her bouncy chair whilst I fed the other. Now the twins are 2. She will play with 1 until they are fed up and stop "following her rules" then switch to the other! So has an extra play mate

Original poster

IndiaMay · 13/12/2024 13:33

What was your house set up @Donimo ? We aren't geared up for three children but can make some rearranging to bridge a gap until we can extend

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Donimo · 13/12/2024 16:18

We have 3 double bedrooms. The twins share a bedroom. In fact they now share a double bed as prefer to be in the same bed. We have a double bed bunk in the twins room so if we have guests overnight the 3 children all share and the guest has my DD room. We were wanting to extend but couldn't get planning permission. If we are still in this house when they are all older our master bedroom is double aspect and large enough to split to 2 single bedrooms so have that as an option.

I have a friend who has twins and an older one 20 months apart in a 2 bed house and all 3 share a bedroom.

You make things work. Although everyone I know with twins and another child struggle with cars and fitting in 3 car seats is a challenge

Original poster

IndiaMay · 13/12/2024 16:35

We have the same problem as your friend. We have 2 double bedrooms and planned for our DD and the new baby to share eventually until we did a large loft conversion (we are a period property and there's a lot of space there, I don't think planning permission would be a problem as our semi detached neighbours have done it). All we can think of in the interim is using our additional reception room downstairs as a bedroom for us and then twins share. That said, our bedroom is huge and would get 3 in it if we took the smaller double.

OP posts:

Donimo · 13/12/2024 16:43

Also our twins stayed in our room till 12 months. For the first 6-8 months they were in next to me cribs by the bed. Then till 12 months we sub divided our room. Mainly because our twins sleep was bad (mainly due to allergies and medical issues)

SunshineRoo27 · 13/12/2024 19:22

I had 3 under 3, honestly the first year is tough but I couldn't imagine it any other way.

I also have a DD and she wasn't too interested in them first but absolutely adores them now, they listen to her more than me!

I dont think anyone can tell you how it will be because there's so many variables, but it will work out.. you will make sure it works out. Take the help and ask for the help you need! Don't be a martyr because you will burn out.

With the room situation, we found out what we were having so we could start making plans early to see who would share with who etc that also helped with talking to my DD so she was prepared. There's lots of cool ideas on Pinterest on how to split rooms without actually splitting them if you know what I mean

My biggest recommendation is find some twin mums in your area as they will be more helpful than anyone else you will meet.

You will all be okay, if shes anything like mine, then your DD will cope better than you haha x

Wotrewelookinat · 07/02/2025 09:43

My DD1 was a year old when my twins were born. It was really hard work for the first couple of years. Accept all the help that is offered to you. I had help from Home Start, not sure what their policies are now (my twins are grown up and at uni now). After the first couple of years it definitely gets easier, and from early on my 3 DDs were really close and still are as adults.

Also, don't assume you'll have a difficult pregnancy. Mine was fine, I had lots of prenatal scans, they were a little prem, but the birth was straightforward.

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