Possible mo-mo or mo-di twins after our embryo split

[Tiredtoddlerma]

On Monday we had the surprise of our lives that our single embryo transfer split and we are expecting identical twins. My mind has been all over the place since - how will this affect our beautiful 23mo from our first round of IVF, all of the risks during pregnancy, then if they make it, how will we cope practically and financially. I can't say I've found any happiness in the news yet and that makes me feel very guilty. I also got diagnosed with MS this year so this is just... A LOT.

Some questions from any Mumsnetters with experience

• does two yolk sacs generally indicate mono-di pregnancy?
• is it ok if my twins look like they're almost overlapping a bit on the ultrasound? (See pics) They're in a love heart / V shape and the instrusive thinker in me is worried this could mean conjoined even though I know the chance of this is very small.
• how are we supported with multiples on the NHS? I haven't even had a booking appointment yet because my local trust haven't been able to place me with a local midwife so I'm waiting for a call. All the anecdotal experiences I've read online seems to be from the US which have multiple specialists who even have better equipment to see the babies in more detail, which I'm guessing we don't get over here?
• is seeing two heartbeats and twins measuring the same a good sign we won't suffer from a vanishing twin? I keep thinking next time we see them there will only be one.

I'm being scanned again by our fertility clinic next week when I'll be 8w but any help with these questions would be SO appreciated as I've got no healthcare professionals to turn to yet. Scan photos attached too.

Hello,
Firstly congratulations!! Secondly, breathe!! 😆

We were in a similar position a few months back, although ours was a double transfer so DiDi and we had an feeling it was twins from before the pregnancy test. Also have a toddler from previous IVF so understand the shock.

I cant answer all of your questions, but I can give you some insight from our experience:

• We are with the NHS (Preston) and have found them brilliant. After our booking appointment (about 13wks) we were transferred straight to consultant care at the hospital with a twin consultant and specialist twin midwife. Check when doing your referral that your hospital has a twin clinic, and if you have a choice read reviews on them specifically about twins
• I think they only know about the placentas later on, I think they had an idea at 12wks, and confirmed at 20wks
• Ours were really clearly in separate sacs at this stage
• No expert, but they just look super close but your later scans will check that out (adorable loveheart though 💛)
• two heartbeats and similar measurements is a really good indicator, but its still so early, so no guarantee im afraid
• twin pregnancy is hard, a lot harder than a singleton, we're currently 26weeks and looking/feeling full term - with MS you may find that a lot, especially with a toddler, accept as much help as you can
• Practically & financially - no idea, still having the same concerns, but I know we will be a lot less precious this time and not buy as much unnecessary stuff. Look at second hand stuff and say yes to donation
• I dont think I felt any happiness either until about 20wks, despite having gone through IVF - which came with so much guilt. Now im so excited and cant wait to meet them
• It has been a bit of a shift for our toddler who was still breastfed at the start of this pregnancy, we introduced some changes early on so that its not a massive shock.

I hope that helps, please let me know if you have any other questions, we're a few months ahead of you and expecting our twins in January.

Just take your time, its such a big shock and will be a big change to your life but I wish you all the best xx

@StarShine23 thank you for the reminder to breathe, I definitely needed that 😂

Your experience is super helpful as well, thank you. I do worry about the toll of a twin pregnancy on my body. You must be so uncomfortable already. I'm so relieved to hear you are now coming around to feeling excited and happy though - it's a real rollercoaster of emotions initially isn't it. It just seems so improbable that our embryo would split that I think I'm a bit numb with shock still and I keep getting emotional that our poor first born will struggle with it. He's such a mama's boy I can't imagine having to divide my time three ways!

Congratulations @Tiredtoddlerma . This was me in your position almost exactly 3 years ago. Our single embryo split into identical twin girls whom are now 2.5 years old. We also have an older DD whom was 3 when the twins were born. I'm not going to lie the last 2 years has been hard and the first 6 months was especially difficult.

In answer to your questions.

• How it impacts your older child. My DD had to take a back seat more than if she had a single sibling. And she does have spells of jealously with spliting my time between 3. She also helps out quite a bit but loved being a second mummy to help out. She does loves her sisters so much and is so proud of them.
• Our twins were MCDA meaning they shared a placenta but had individual sacs (as they had individual sacs they can't be conjoined). It sounds like this is what yours are too

-NHS twin pregnancy monitoring for MCDA twins will kick in after your first NHS scan at 12 weeks. At this point when twin pregnancy was confirmed I was referred to featal medicine and had my first appointment at 16 weeks. I then saw a mutiple birth specialist consultant and had a scan every 10-14 days. This was at a larger hospital and not my local one. Twins trust website documents antenatal care really well.

• My pregnancy was fairly uncomplicated apart from extra monitoring and some extra medications. I did feel awful though- very sick and tired for first 16 weeks and then very big and heavy from 27-28 weeks. Then they did arrive early at 33 weeks. They were planned delivery at 36 weeks as is advised with MCDA twins.

Happy to answer any other questions

Thanks for getting back to me @Donimo, and for your honesty. It's an absolute mind boggle to find out your embryo has split isn't it. I'm so pleased your girls are safe and well though and your pregnancy in the most part was uneventful. I can't even begin to get my head around if this all goes well - I think I've let myself get so caught up in the risks, even that we make it through the first trimester, that my mind refuses to go there. Maybe also because the practicalities sound extremely challenging with a toddler in the mix! You're a supermum!

Unfortunately we found out today we lost both babies 💔

So sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself 💜

I'm so so sorry xxx
Be kind to yourself and take time to deal with this xx

I’m so sorry x

I am so sorry xx

I’m so sorry. What a shock