Breastfeeding twins and feeling really low

[KatM93]

My twin girls are nearly 10 weeks old and so far we have been exclusively breastfeeding which hasn’t been without its struggles. I can seem to get the hang of tandem feeding so one baby is always screaming while I’m feeing the other which always causes me to get upset as I feel like I’m failing them. This past couple of weeks my girls have been screaming from around 6pm to 11pm. I’m starting to think about introducing formula as I’m getting really down feeling like I’m not enough for them but on the other hand I’m terrified of not having a go to comfort with breastfeeding. Not really sure what I hope to get from this post but I’m so sad and down that my girls seem so unhappy all the time and wondering if formula will help fix some of this.

I feel so bad for you, that's so hard. I can't advise on twins specifically but I can say that if your own wellbeing is being impacted, then I would absolutely try and introduce formula.
You might find you're able to do a bit of both if you keep up with breastfeeding as their primary source of milk and just have some formula as a back up.
Whatever you do, please do not ever beat yourself up about this. You've given your babies the best start they could have had, and you matter just as much as they do.

Have you had help re positioning from someone properly qualified and experienced? If not I would personally try this first, as you seem really keen to do breastfeeding. But if you have tried that, or you just don't have the energy (understandably) then yes, absolutely start combi feeding. It's not a failure.

If it helps I've exclusively bf two babies and have been lucky to find it really easy, and I STILL don't think I could EBF twins.

Do you know if there is local breastfeeding cafe near you. To be honest it's what works best for you and how you feel about it. It's totally normal for babies to cluster feed in the evenings and want to be constantly feeding. Do you have help from your partner? Especially at this time of the day?

I would think talking it through with some trained breastfeeding supporters about how things are going, they will help you introduce formula if you feel that is what is right for you as well. As after feeding twins you don't want to stop suddenly and end up with mastitis and be unwell either. Maybe just adding an evening bottle so your partner can feed one while you feed the other. Also they should be able to help you with positioning to be able to feed them both at the same time.

If you don't have a local support group then you could ring one of the breastfeeding support lines or chat to them online if you prefer. Breastfeeding network are very good or https://laleche.org.uk/

If the mum wants to breastfeed, then let her get breastfeeding support and community support before suggesting formula.
I mean let’s support her choice rather than suggest she does something else.
Formula isn’t magic, it comes with its own problems.

Could you try expressing and giving them a bottle at the same time? You must be exhausted feeding one after the other! I’ve no idea if expressing makes a difference to milk supply, I tried to bf my DTs but my body didn’t particularly care for making milk.

Hi OP,
I ebf my twins till they were two, and getting the hang of feeding both at the same time is def key.
Do you have the right pillows? Cause I found that to be a game changer in the early days.
By all means introduce formula if you think that will help, who cares how the baby is fed as long as it’s fed!
But I found that basically being in situ with my arms propped up and someone handing me a baby at a time worked. Get one latched then squish it slightly as you latch the second.
They make twin feeding pillows, I got one free on fb, but any firm pillow would do.

Have you tried asking for bf-ing support? Xxx

P.s. sorry to disagree with PP, but expressing is terrible advice. You’ll spend so much time feeding twins you won’t have time to express as well. Or at least I didn’t.

I combined formula with breastfeeding my twins with no problem as I never really got the hang of feeding both at once. I think you are doing amazingly well to have got this far just breastfeeding. In my experience it is literally twice as difficult, time consuming and tiring as feeding one. Even if you do 50/50, your body will still be producing the same amount of milk as for a singleton.

Ps. agree that expressing would be very tricky with twins. Having someone hand you a baby for feeding both at once assumes that you have some help which may not be the case….

I also had twins and I think you have done amazingly well to go 10 weeks ! I did not even attempt it because I knew I would always be feeding a baby and I was worried my first would feel pushed out. Honestly if you feel formula would be a better fit then do it. Don't beat yourself up about it. Mine did amazingly well on the bottle and I fed them at the same time propped up on the end of the sofa next to each other so I could hold the two bottles. It worked very well to feed together and I kept to a four hour routine. Good luck whatever you decide to do !

I breastfed twins till 12 month and it was so much more exhausting than the singleton.
What ever you do don't just stop bf every time the twins dropped a feed I had mastitis.
What helped for me was positioning (and realising one twin was fussy and would only use one brest) in order to tandem feed.
The bf cafe was useless as they didn't really have experience in twins (although was good to get out of the house).
I also used expressed milk (need to build up a supply for this) for when tandem feeding was just too much (breastfed one while bottle fed the other either in a bouncy chair, car seat or pushchair).
If you really want to continue exclusively bf you need to look at ways you can make it easier for yourself. This might be getting advice on position, expressing, using equipment to entertain one while you feed the other. For instance in an evening I strapped one twin in a sling, one in my arm giving me a free hand to deal with dc1. I also used the bouncy chairs to keep them both a bit upright after feeds.
It gets easier from a bf point of view when you start weaning but it's a long slog and if you feel you'll be better off stopping or mixed feeding then that's OK to. You sound like you want to give it a good try and therefore I'd seek support because then whatever happens you'll be able to say I tried/did my best (and I suspect that will help you if you can't bf long-term). Don't ever blame yourself though it's not an easy option bf twins and to get to 10 weeks you've given them a great start.

Firstly and most importantly well done. One single baby is hard flipping work two at the exact same time, age and stage is so difficult.

I would highly recommend the Elvie hands free breast pump if you want to continue EBF. The cluster feeding at night doesn’t last forever and when they a a bit more chunky they will go longer between feeds. I got the elvie pump and would express for 10 minutes after each BF session to build up a bit more of a supply and to allow my husband to give a bottle. This is only my experience but I found all three of my babies slept so much better and were settled in the evening when they got a bottle of BM at night, my supply was lower at that time of the day and they (and I) were tired and a bit stressed. We used Mam teats and dummies and I EBF them until 6 months each then weaned.

Just a suggestion if it’s helpful x

I tried to exclusive breast feed my twins, but similar to you they screamed every evening. My HV suggested that by that point in the day my milk supply was very low and the babies were hungry. I swapped to a bottle of formula at 6pm and this was a game changer for me. The babies slept soundly till later on in the evening, I had time to have a decent evening meal and a rest ( often I was in bed by 8.30) .
If I hadn’t changed to formula I wouldn’t have been able to breast feed until they were weaned.
It didn’t effect my milk supply.

OP, I can’t offer advice on twins, but whatever you decide is best for you and your family, I just wanted to say really really well done for EBF both of them up to this point. I bet that’s been really tough.
My final word is that if you can afford it a properly qualified lactation consultant might be better help than just one of the support/cafe set ups, where some/all of the volunteers just haven’t got the experience and expertise that fully qualified lactation consultants have. In this regard I do speak from my own experience where a lactation consultant made all the difference to me, after being given unhelpful or frankly wrong ‘advice’ from the free breastfeeding support service, the GP, and quite a well-known paediatrician….
Good luck, and well done again.

Well done on 10 weeks - that is an amazing achievement. Breastfeeding one baby is hard enough so really well done. I don't have experience or advice feeding twins but I wanted to recommend Kathryn Stagg IBCLC she is a breastfeeding supporter and a specialist in twins. I think she does virtual/telephone support but she also has a lot of free information on instagram.

Awwww, poor you. I've been there (a long time ago).

The hospital gave my twins formula within hours of their birth, as they were so small and while I established breast feeding.

Like you, I couldn't tandem feed either so fed them one at a time (and it felt like an endless conveyor belt of feeding/crying babies some days 😂).

Towards the end of the day, I supplemented one feed with formula as I felt my body was struggling to produce enough milk for two babies. It was quite stressful initially.

Don't feel guilty about introducing formula if that's what you want to do.

Good luck xx

@MajorMischa I’ve seen a couple of lactation consultants and they’ve assessed the latch which I have been told is fine and for tongue tie etc. They weren’t much help with tandem feeding though so I feel like I still have the same problem of one always screaming

@warningsecurityguards ive tried a couple of different pillows but find that the girls take in more air when I tandem because they don’t really like rugby ball hold and fuss a little, I’ve tried other positions but just find it stressful with both

Thanks everyone for your replies. I’m hoping as time goes on the reflux/colic or whatever it is gets easier. I’ve had a lot of support and my husband is great. I’m thinking I’ll introduce one bottle of formula at night and see how they get on with it. Just feel really disheartened sometimes that I don’t have happy babies. I went to a mother and baby group last week and they just screamed the whole time so now I feel like a prisoner sitting at home all day. For those who have twins when did you find it got easier with them? I also have a toddler which makes it all a bit chaotic of an evening, just trying to get through each day.

What gestation were they when born?

Never mind the corny name, but the My Brest Friend twin bf pillow was a gamechanger for me.
Most babies are cranky from 6pm till 11pm and they want comfort - and for most bf babies that means prolonged feeding. I remember thinking that they HAD to be hungry and tipping formula into their (screaming) mouths but they just wanted to latch and hang on, even though there wasn't much actual intake.
I would order a twin bf pillow and get as comfy on the sofa as you can, and for the moment EXPECT to be there from 6 to 11. It's tough but it's a phase.
I also did some mixed feeding and there's nothing wrong with that, or of course solely ff, but I learned that the best time to get a bf baby to take a bottle is NOT in that evening period, but during the day when they are less needy and more cheerful.
Twins are hard at first but you wait... they play together and develop incredible turntaking and negotiation skills as they get older - they are a joy when they get a bit older.
You'll get there!

My older one was 2y10m when my twins were born. I used to pay a babysitter to play with him some evenings and she would also hand me a baby or a nappy at times.
It's hard now but believe me, it's such a great thing in a way to have a little team of kids close in age.
I think the trickiest bit is where you are right now.

Hi there well done for persevering to 10 weeks it's an incredible achievement with twins. I exclusively breastfed both children. The first one was always on my breast. I tried a dummy a few times he kept spitting it out so I gave up. My second one came 21 months later. I wouldn't have managed without a dummy so this time I persevered. My 2nd child had it from 3 weeks. The upside was that at 2 months he could take all his milk in 15-20 minutes. He probably worked out if he wasn't quick enough he would get a dummy. Dummy was a life saver for me. I took it away on Christmas Day morning once he turned 2. We had lots of visitors and presents, rtaking away a dummy was a non-event

You are doing amazingly. I have an older one then had twins. I found breast feeding my first so easy. But my twins were a different story. I exclusively breast fed for the first month or so. But in the end I combi fed as I couldn't feed both together as they wouldn't latch well and struggled with weight gain. This allowed me to spend a little more time with my older daughter in the evenings as dh could do some feeds. But I do know lots of mums who did exclusively breast feed twins too.

Have you got a local twins club. This was great for me to give advice and just a hand hold too.

With the screaming I remember these days and they are horrendous. A few things that helped me was to put a baby in a sling... I would either use a weego sling or if dh around would each have a sling. Also going for walks in the day as they seemed better when out and about. I appreciate this doesn't help with feeding advice though!

I found it got easier once weaning was established. Which I know sounds an age away. However my twins had awful reflux and then we found out at 6 months cmpa too.

Hi OP, I have twins. I didn't even consider BF them. It wouldn't have been for me.
Just to say having twins is so hard and I'm sure you're doing amazingly.
You will make the right decision for your family x

Didn't make it to 10 weeks ebf my twins either. You've done amazing getting this far.

Can you express and feed one via bottle and one via breast of you're struggling with a double hold?

Agree with this.. my eldest was 2y 8m when twins arrived. Horrendously hard work but they're close now as teens as they've all grown up together.