2 year old and now pregnant with twins. No support

[Mumpanic2023]

I think om on the verge of a breakdown. I recently found out I'm pregnant with twins and I have a two year old who I adore but who is a total handful. We moved to a new area a year ago and we have no family or friends nearby. We are renting a house on a road where parking is a nightmare. I like the area but I'm so panicked that we won't cope with 3 kids and absolutely no support. I swore i would never move back to my home town (6 hours drive up north) but I feel now this may be our only option. My son sleeps in the same bed as me and cuddles me all night and I'm worried how he will cope with everything. I wish we had family close by to give him love (and us some help) but it means relocating back up north where I don't really want to be. I'm not even sure what we would do for work either. Can any one offer some advice? Thanks

[Hibambinos]

Where is the children’s father? Can you get support from them OP?

[Mumpanic2023]

He's here and he is brilliant. But it's just us two. His family are over in France

[Becles]

Have you thought about employing a mother's help or a cleaner?
Have you registered with www.sitters.co.uk or similar babysitting website?
Have you investigated some sleep hygiene techniques for encouraging your 2 year old to sleep in his own bed?
Is your other half taking a fair share of the load after work and giving you a good chunk of time to recharge at the weekends?


What specifically in terms of support do you want?

[TheMagicDeckchair]

It is overwhelming to find out you’re pregnant with twins, mine are 2.5 now and I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. I also had a 2 year old who bedshared at the time so I get it.

Why did you move, was it lifestyle/work etc? If you moved back would you get the support from family, could you still continue to work from there? It’s definitely still possible to work with twins (I work part time) although the childcare fees can be hefty at first. DH works full time but from home and has a lot of flexibility which helps.

Your feelings are normal, I remember having loads of thoughts going through my head when I found out. I love being a twin mum now (although it is pretty crazy, tiring and lots of juggling) but I was terrified when I first found out. You will manage!

[Alloveragain3]

9 months is a long time for a 2 year old and he'll develop lots by the time babies come.

You'll find he's much more independent and less reliant on you.

[LightSpeeds]

I was devastated when I found out I was expecting twins (I also had an under-2 year old plus two older children).

I didn't have one positive thought or hear a positive word about my situation until I'd just given birth to them - I was still on the delivery suite when I met a midwife with twins and four other children (so, one more child than me). I thought 'well, if she can do it, so can I'!

My twins are amazing and it really is a joy and privilege to have twins. You will cope. My greatest regret is feeling so negative about it initially and not having anyone to talk to during my pregnancy who could have told me that everything would be OK and that twins are a really special thing.

Try to feel positive and enjoy every moment of your unique experience!

[SiouxsieSiouxStiletto]

Agree with others. Your DS will have changed so much by the time the DTs arrive. I'd start by moving him to his own room now. The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers should help.

Also, have a look to see if there are any Multiples/Twins Clubs in the area and start going whilst you're still PG if you can. You've got time to build a bit of support locally

[Mavissdaviss]

My cousin was in a similar situation. The twins were premature and had health issues. Life has been hard for them. The twins are now 3. Her husband is amazing and they have 2 grandparents who give them lots of support. I wouldn’t rule out moving closer to family