Find it harder at 5 years old

[delisane]

People say it gets easier with twins but I have found the opposite.

When they were babies, my husband and I were able to talk when they napped and I felt we had a private relationship. I also stayed at home for 3 years to care for them and went to baby/toddler classes which I enjoyed.

Fast forward to now, I work full time in an office, 3 days in the office and 2 days hybrid and I miss the baby/toddler days so much.

They demand our attention constantly and are like two whirlwinds in our home. They want a lot to do on the weekends and I'm usually worn out by work and just want a break. I miss socialising with like minded people. My husband is happy to stick them on an ipad and feed them frozen food.

I don't know if its due to the cost of living but things are hard now. I just feel like a slave.

It will get easier as they get older, try not to feel too disheartened, it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. Parenting is hard, parenting twins is even harder. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Is there any way you could reduce your working hours? Maybe drop a day or do shorter days so you have time to catch up with yourself?

What kind of things do your twins like to do at weekends? Are there activities available locally (sports, scouts etc) which mean you could drop them off for an hour or so? Play dates are great for this (but remember you'll have to reciprocate). Or maybe you and your husband could alternate taking them to activities so you each get a break?

Not at the moment, no. We are struggling with mortgage repayments.

I feel like we need to find groups for them on the weekend otherwise they argue, run around the house etc.

This is a good idea. Maybe even separate groups at times, to give them a break from each other

If cost is an issue are they content with things like trips to the park and library? Does your local Cinema have cheap screenings in a Saturday morning?

When I had my first daughter my mum told me the hardest part of parenting is the stage your currently living. As your memory distorts what you previously went through and you don't know what's to come. I honestly think this is true.

However in terms of some advice there are often free groups in the community. In my area for example the library do free lego clubs and craft things. The local children's centre offer free activities over the holidays. So worth looking at what's around. I think you generally have to stay with the children but it might wear them out.

It doesn't help with time with your husband but can you each have half a day when you take the twins to give the other one a little rest/time alone.

Is there any family who could have the twins a Saturday or Sunday a month so you get some time together too.

At home can you set up some games or crafts and leave them to do it independently for an hour. I have a 4 year old and if I leave her with crafty things she will happy sit and enjoy for an hour or so

Are they at school?

My twins are younger, but I have an older singleton. What works for us is a very strict routine which on weekends involves being out of the house every Sat and Sunday morning and afternoon - ie four trips out, even if pissing down. Often not to somewhere paid, just a park with the incentive of (homemade) hot chocolate for example.