Teen boy/girl twins: when do they start to get on with each other again?

[DevonorLondon]

We’ve had the years where they communicate better with each other than anyone else, ganging up on us, or oblivious to the needs of those outside the twinship. The best-friend-who’s-always-there-years.
Now that they’ve hit thirteen, it’s like they are 4 years apart. Every little comment, no matter how well-intentioned is taken the wrong way. Every approach completely misreads the mood of the other. Brother can’t stop winding up sister, but is baffled that she doesn’t want to play. Sister can’t bear to be around him for more than a few minutes.
Our holidays are spent on a small boat (think caravan, but without the grass to run around on), and we are just about to go away for another week. DH and I are starting to tally down the years until they leave home and we can go off without them.
Their behaviour makes perfect growing up/ independence sense. They need to evolve to be separate from each other, as well as from us.
However, please tell me, when does it become bearable to share a small space with them again?

Why are you going on a holiday on a small boat? That sounds hellish for two teenagers and two adults.

I like boats. It is my boat, and I like to go sailing when I can. We all like to explore. The kids don’t mind the boat, it’s the proximity to each other that is the problem.

Try doing holidays which give them the opportunity to do different things, have a bit of their own time & space and not be in each other’s faces 24/7. At least until they work through this phase.

You might like boats but do your teens? Doesn't sound like it. Bizarre forcing them to go. Can't you just go sailing as your own hobby? Sounds miserable for two teenaged.

They are very happy to go on the boat individually, very keen to invite friends, both enjoy sailing separately. Which is fine for weekends. It’s not the boat that makes them grouchy together: they would be the same in a holiday cottage.
I just wondered when they will grow out of this stage of constant mutual misunderstanding.

Oh no! Twin boy and girl 11 year olds here and they have already started. Does this mean years of this to go?

they will grow out of it eventually. But in the meantime, maybe plan holidays on a resort where they can each meet other teens/where they can go off and do water sports etc without each other? Then regroup later in the day

I acknowledge the wisdom of the suggestion. Going on holiday to a resort (I don’t think you mean Exmouth!) is way outside my experience and comfort zone. I’m reluctant to sell my boat, and fear the expense, the heat, the boredom. I’m sure you are right, but I don’t relish the prospect.

17 here and it's not too bad, watered down by a younger sibling (so they unite to hang up on her occasionally often). I think if they are already fractious, a holiday in a confined space with no escape from one another is a recipe for disaster. I would heed the advice above - consider other holidays for a few years. I think 16/17 Yrs can be a turning point with more maturity / the prospect of leaving the family shortly for uni etc.

Thanks, everyone. They’ve got better as the summer holidays have progressed, and have been sweetness and light (mainly) this week. They are both looking forward to a week on the boat, so we’re starting from the best possible place.
I have booked to go to Turkey for October half term next year, which is a toe in the water for alternatives, if not exactly rushing towards them. We’ve a city break and a week in N Wales between now and next summer, so they don’t do too badly.

Also interested to hear from anyone who has come out the other side! 13-year-old b/g twins here and they definitely have a far spikier relationship with each other than they do with their sister (18 months older).

We keep nudging towards divide and conquer, but they're resistant to it - DS in particular always wants the whole family involved, even if it means he gets shouted at. And all three are keen to give stuff that's not really their thing a go, which is great in many ways, but means a lot of time together (e.g., we've just all been to a day at the Test Match - cricket is a passion of DH and DS, a mild interest for me and DD1 and very little interest to DD2, but both girls were still really keen to go).

Going to Turkey/doing some new things sounds like a good idea. I think there's fun and comfort to be had in your old traditions (your boat) too, and you're only a few years off them being able to opt out if they want to. In the meantime, we're reducing pressure to participate and waiting/hoping the sniping etc stops in due course...

Also - they had a weird twin bonding thing recently! DS was involved in a horrible accident at school which resulted in a chemical burn on his leg. When he and I got home from A&E eventually, DD came and asked me if it had happened in the third period. She'd had a shooting pain in her leg during that lesson. It's been years since anything like that has happened to them, and she was very keen I didn't tell anyone, but I was quite touched by it!