Baby after twins?

GingerBrummie · 2022-07-19T09:18:06+00:00

Hi all, My twins are 7 weeks old, they are gorgeous but its relentless! Im 40 & my husband is 49. Im thinking of trying for 1 more but am I mad? Will it be really difficult with twins & our ages are against us also. Should I quit now whilst Im ahead?! Honest views pls x

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cantcomplainabouttheweather · 25/07/2022 23:07

Hi there - I have twins, I'm also about the same age and also considering one final baby ( but I do have an older child too). Everyone tells me it's a stupid idea like having twins should be the completion of any family. All I would say is I was 100% set on having another when my twins were the same age as yours...now they are 18 months I'd say it's more like 75% - now they are mobile and demanding of attention it is much harder and there is a lot of mom guilt about my time and energy and focus being split 3 ways. My DH is older but younger than yours and honestly if he was 49 that is probably the biggest reason I wouldn't have another

Sarahmayo · 25/07/2022 23:11

Hi, I had twins on my 2nd pregnancy so ended up with a 2 year old and twins. It was hard work but I don't regret it. I was in my twenties at the time but I don't think age matters, babies and toddlers are tiring whether your in your 20s or 40s. I'm in my 40s now too.

334bu · 25/07/2022 23:25

If your babies are fraternal twins then your chances of having another set of twins is 3 to 4 times more likely than mothers of singletons.

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 25/07/2022 23:32

I have 5 year old boy/girl twins. Some days I think I'd love another but it's a no go as my husband is absolutely not on board.

The more I really sit down and think about it though the more I realise I probably don't want another, it's just the baby stage I miss.

I've loved the kids growing and going through their wee milestones although it does make me sad to think that's it, no more nursery, no more first steps and first words.

On the other hand it is quite nice to think no more nappies, night feeds etc. It would be hard on us to juggle childcare after maternity, we'd need a bigger car...all that kind of stuff.

I say give yourself a bit more time, I loved the baby stage and would have had another one in a heart beat but it gets harder as they get older. It depends on your work/lifestyle too though, childcare etc

SpringHasSprungGrassIsRiz · 25/07/2022 23:50

Like a pp I had my twins when my first born was 2 years old. I was 40 at the time and my DH was 46.

They are 9 and 11 now, and I feel that DH is a grumpy old sod! I know 55 isn't old, but raising 3 so close in age is exhausting, and he's envious of friends talking about early retirement to Italy etc

Just got back from a holiday, and every day he had a new ache or pain! He loves them but doesn't have the same energy that he had 20 years ago!

Yes I wouldn't change them, but just be aware that being older with younger children get harder.

Original poster

GingerBrummie · 26/07/2022 09:53

Thanks all. Maybe its my hormones making me broody. I will give it some good thought but all your comments have definitely helped x

OP posts:

TheMagicDeckchair · 26/07/2022 10:22

I had my twin boys at 41, also have an older singleton girl.

I remember when the boys were tiny thinking that I could go for a 4th! By the time they turned 1 I absolutely did not want any more. I think it’s the hormones. I’d actually be bricking it if I found out I was pregnant now. My family is definitely complete.

I would give it at least 6-9 months to give yourself time to recover and see how you feel then.

Africa2go · 29/07/2022 10:38

Hi OP, my twins were my first babies, and then I went on to have another. I wanted another immediately - we were forced to wait for medical reasons and the urge never lessened, so I ended up with a gap of 3+ years between my DTs and Number 3. We were younger than you - still in our 30s when Number 3 arrived. I don't regret it and the the relationship they all had was lovely (slightly less so now they're all teenagers ). I would say however (with my head ruling rather than my heart) that being a family of 5 makes lots of things trickier / more expensive, I can only imagine how that would have worked as a family of 6 if it had been twins the second time.

ancientgran · 29/07/2022 10:45

Africa2go · 29/07/2022 10:38

Hi OP, my twins were my first babies, and then I went on to have another. I wanted another immediately - we were forced to wait for medical reasons and the urge never lessened, so I ended up with a gap of 3+ years between my DTs and Number 3. We were younger than you - still in our 30s when Number 3 arrived. I don't regret it and the the relationship they all had was lovely (slightly less so now they're all teenagers ). I would say however (with my head ruling rather than my heart) that being a family of 5 makes lots of things trickier / more expensive, I can only imagine how that would have worked as a family of 6 if it had been twins the second time.

My neighbour was in shock when she found out she was carrying twins when she had 2 year old twins. I can't even describe her husband's reaction. Four under 3 is no joke.

Africa2go · 29/07/2022 12:04

@ancientgran I went to a Twins Club with mine when they were babies and went in one day completely frazzled. I got talking to another mum with twins the same age as mine (about 9 months at the time). Then she pointed to other children running around and said "and those are my 3 years old twins and then there's their 5 year old brother" .

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 29/07/2022 12:10

My friend had twins and was told if she fell pregnant again, there was a very good chance it would be twins again so l would bear that in mind

ancientgran · 29/07/2022 14:27

Africa2go · 29/07/2022 12:04

@ancientgran I went to a Twins Club with mine when they were babies and went in one day completely frazzled. I got talking to another mum with twins the same age as mine (about 9 months at the time). Then she pointed to other children running around and said "and those are my 3 years old twins and then there's their 5 year old brother" .

What a handful. I thought it was going to be my neighbour until you mentioned the 5 year old.

Original poster

GingerBrummie · 30/07/2022 19:42

Thanks all. It wont be twins again as I had to use IVF so its not genetic. However Im now really leaning against the idea of another, I think it must have been the hormones.. x

OP posts:

cantcomplainabouttheweather · 30/07/2022 20:43

@GingerBrummie

Mine are IVF twins too and I have 2 more frozen....I think DH is about 0% set on any more 😂. I'd only put one back in this time though

Definitely hormones based though 😂😂 - I wanted another set of twins within weeks of having my newborns

toohotforthistwinmummy · 01/08/2022 14:39

Myself and my husband were pretty much the same age as you when our twins were born. It’s an absolute no from me and even more of a no from my husband, BUT we did say if we were 10 years younger we’d probably have another.

it does make me a little sad but we have to be realistic. It gets so much harder physically as they get older, we’re both exhausted at the end of every day.