School friendships

[waltzingmatilda]

Hello - am posting here for first time.
I have twin girls in year 2. They are in separate classes. Despite this, they still havent formed any separate friendships. They play together at all playtimes.

There is some history here - DT1 had a special friend in reception and most of yr1, but that friend dropped her in the summer . This took all DT1's confidence away and she turned to DT2.

DT2 had some friends but no one especially close. Now I feel that because DT1 is there, DT2 has less chance to play with those friends and is basically losing them. Meanwhile DT1 only wants to play with DT2.

DT1's teacher who I have spoken to several times says "what can I do - I cant force them apart, they are happy together, I have seen them playing every day together".

I already have them doing separate out of school activities. I have invited girls round for tea etc but have little chance to separate the twins on those occasions and so far havent had any reciprocal invites. (I also have a DS and have to juggle commitments for him.)

In reception and year 1 they had a good number of party invites. None to date in year 2. I feel things are going backwards and dont know what to do.

Has anyone experienced this problem or similar? Any suggestions?
Sorry this is so long.

Have I posted this in the right place do you think?

Hi waltzing matilda

I'm afraid I don't have any pearls of wisdom for you - my DTs are only 2.10, so I have yet to face any of these kinds of problems. You're definitely posting in the right place though, and I'll link your thread into our regular one (on which, by the way - please join us for support, madness and cake ) to see if any of the other more experienced multiple mummies can give you some advice.

here's a link to the thread. Hope to see you there!

Hi. Do come join us on the multi thread.

I have to say that for my 3 singletons the party invites began to drop off in Y2 so it might not be a twin 2 thing so much as a "oh Lord do we have to do a party" thing.

I think if you have them doing separate out of school things that you should relax about the playing together at school. In time they will make other friends and all will be well.

There were ID twin girls in DD1's class. Now they are at senior school they have very definite and different friends.

Of course this time next year I may be back with the same worries as you. My DTs start school in September.

Oh and welcome to MN. A fab place to be.

Thank you for the words of welcome. I guess I will just have to relax and see how things work out over the next few months at school - I think it changes quite a bit when they move to junior school in September.
I dont find time to come on here very often, but when I do I will try and join in on the "multi" thread. I never seem to find time for anything much even when they are at school - have just stripped the beds for the first time since before Xmas

I know that feeling WM!

My friends twins are now in year 7 and were as identical twin boys acted just the same as you describe in yr 2. It took them time to develop different interests and friends.
Chill waltzing and wecome to mn.

I have triplet girls in year 3 now and all in the same class. Have had similar friendship problems where they all play together, but also more serious problems where they all fight over the same friend, the same intelligent friend who soon learnt to play my girls to her best advantage.
So many tears on school pick up that I eventually asked for them to be stopped from playing with this little 'friend' for a while.
They are a bit better now and most of that is down to age. Have tried the friends over, endless discussions about friendship choices, games to play etc. Have come to the conclusion that they are best left to it! School is their teritory and to some extent they have to learn for themselves. It is really hard to back away when they make such a song and dance about it, but girls will be girls and social interactions are very fluid at primary school.