Twins in separate classes?

[icf90]

We recently found out DT's have both been accepted into our #1 primary choice which is great. School have been in contact and asked whether we want them in the same class or not. Once they are put into classes in YR they stay the same through to Y6. Both boys are very outgoing and confident so would thrive in separate classes or the same one. DH wants them in separate classes so they make their own friends and don't just stay together. At their current preschool they are in the same class and are very close so I think they should be together. We have to reply to school by next Friday because they need to sort out classes for taster/induction meetings in June. What would you do?

I have twins and plan to keep them together for reception as I think it is what’s best for them. They have their own friends at pre school, sit separately at activities etc but knowing the other is there is a big comfort to them. School is a big enough change and I worry separating them now would make them dislike school. When asked they 100% want to stay together. We do however have the option to separate them at year 1, as all classes mix up again then. So we currently plan to do that. I’m also going to ask the teacher to make sure they’re on separate tables etc. At the school there are a few sets of twins, and according to the head all but one set are together.
It’s a difficult one, I think in your shoes op with no option to separate later I’d probably go separate to start.

Another vote for separate classes. My twin DGC are thriving, it allows their individuality to shine in an educational setting.

Mine did both due to first school only having one class per year.
From my experience they did better in separate classes. They are both different one is quiet, the other outgoing - the outgoing twin allowed the quiet twin to mother/organize everything for him and quiet twin relied on outgoing twin to socialise.
Being in different classes has enabled outgoing twin to become more organised and independent and quiet twin has made their own friendship group.
Now in secondary school I requested different half's of the year as well as different classes so they don't get put in sets together (as their academic ability is similar).
For us it was the best decision, dt are happy and thriving as individuals, they still spend lots of time together and also see each other at lunch etc so I wouldn't hesitate to make the same decision again.
Its a very individual decision, most of the twin parents I know who started out choosing same classes ended up getting them split up further down the line. I'd consider the fact that you won't be able to move them later down the line concerning.

Aren't the collections per child though like for any other sibling pair who don't happen to be the same age? I don't think having twins allows a parent to not pay for one of them for collections etc. It's not a reverse BOGOF deal.

There are quite a few twins in my son's reception year (5 sets) and the parents have all chosen to split them up - I'm guessing none of them did it unthinkingly.

Just out of interest how will you decide which one has to leave their familiar class and which one stays - or does your school mix up the classes each year?

@Purplepot290 oops sorry ignore my last comment I see you said classes are mixed up each year anyway!

My girls are almost 10 and we’ve done both. Reception to year 2 were separate then years 3-4 have been apart. Both equally good and both very much suited my dc. If I had to choose which worked more, I would say together.

@TabithaHazel the school mixes up the classes again after reception. Otherwise I think we would go separate from the beginning as I wouldn’t want to move one to an unfamiliar class. From year 1 it’s same class up to year 6, although they do allow twins to switch classes as an exception, but we wouldn’t want to do that! .

@TabithaHazel oops just seen your other comment 😂

My DTs are in the same class, they are in primary 2. I don't think it's held them back in any way. They are both quite independent, but also enjoy each others company and have similar tastes in play. I don't think there's a one answer fits all. Equally I don't think either answer is a disaster.

It would have been nice for you to have the option to keep them together for reception and then move them for year one, but if this school keeps classes the same all the way through then it will be best in the long run to have them in separate classes.

Together not apart!

Having seen many sets of twins come through the school over the years, separate, separate, separate.

And don't 'hold one back' to not make the other one feel bad if one turns out to progress more quickly with something. I've seen parents request that when it comes to book bands, etc. So unfair to the twin who was being held back so as not to make their twin 'feel bad'.

We started with ours together in Reception & Y1. Covid then hit and our plan had been to split them for Y2 but the school recommended keeping them together due to bubbles/etc when schools went back in Sept 2020.
We then moved to junior school in 2021 and they wanted to keep the classes as they had been in infants.
I really really wish we had split them by now but they will be apart for Y4 from Sept.
I'd say apart from R if they keep classes the same until Y6.

I’m a twin and find this fascinating (the vast majority say separate!) Our primary forced separation and we both struggled and were put back together after a year. Male/Female though, which is probably relevant. I guess it’s down to the dynamic. I know of identical twins who really benefitted being separated.

Up til recently I e only taught in single form schools, so twins were always together. It didn’t seem to be an issue.
Now I teach in a 2 form entry and the twins are always separated. Again, doesn’t seem to be an issue.

Our twins started in September and I knew that separate was best but was a little anxious about it. Their school has 2 classes per year so they have a policy of reviewing the classes at Christmas to make sure the mix is right and moving children to the other class if it seems like they are more comfortable with the children in the other class. As it was, it has worked very well and the more reserved of the 2 has grown in confidence and they are both doing very well with their own friends and the confidence to express their own opinions without looking to the other to agree. We had a chat with the teachers and they agreed so they’ve stayed as they are and love it!

In my opinion, that is not a good reason for keeping them together. It’s puts a responsibility onto the more confident one to ‘look after’ their sibling and doesn’t encourage the other to be more brave and independent. This may not matter when they’re little but as they grow they need to find a way to operate as individuals.

You know your twins best so maybe together might be right for them, at least at first, but think carefully about your reasons for choosing it.

Definitely apart.
My twin and I were apart from day 1 but we were always together at break and lunch.
When we chose options in high school, we were in some classes together. We caused absolute mayhem if we were that way out. I suspect the teacher's rather disliked us being together.

We only truly made our own friend's when we went to different colleges.

I am an identical twin we were always in the same class till moving to massive comp at 11. We never chose to sit together and had different friends. Glad we were given that choice x

Mine were separated but still got together during break times so ended up with the same friends. I was asked in year 4 if I would mind them being in the same class, and I didn't mind, and they didn't mind. So they were in the same class until they left primary. They were also in the same tutor group all through secondary as they went out of catchment, and the school keeps kids together from the same primaries so they know someone. (They were 2 of 4 from their primary that went to that secondary, so were all in the same tutor group) They were in mostly different groups for lessons. Then they chose to go to the same sixth form. They are going to different universities!

The Twins Trust guidance is more helpful if you read both the primary and the secondary bit.

The guidance does say parents know best, I grant, so that bit of the school policy above is out of step and a blanket policy is probably not ideal.

The Twins Trust primary guidance section also does suggest starting together may be positive: "Initially, if your children enjoy each other’s company and are not overly competitive, they are likely to benefit from being in the same class. This will help them to settle – especially if they don’t know the other children. They can be separated later and often are by the age of eight."

But the secondary school guidance also says that based on 40 years experience, "we recommend a separation of classes in year 3 could be the ideal time."

In a school which has fixed classes from Reception to Year Six, that would mean separating from Reception to achieve that goal before High School.

So I think for the OP, thinking about separation from Reception is not a crazy suggestion if that is the way it would have to work in her school. I am also not sure why you think only twins or parents of twins could have a valid opinion. Why can't education professionals, who may have met multiple sets of twins over the years, have an opinion?

twinstrust.org/let-us-help/parenting/primary/together-or-apart.html
twinstrust.org/let-us-help/parenting/secondary/going-to-secondary-school.html#:~:text=You%20as%20parents%20are%20the,could%20be%20the%20ideal%20time

Everyone will say separate because it helps them to make their own friends and have their own identities… I’m a twin mum and think this is a load of outdated nonsense! Would you ask a group of strangers whether your child should be put in the same class as their current best friend? And do so without giving any details of their relationship and personalities? Of course you wouldn’t! Those saying separate with such confidence because they have known/taught twins or it was best for their own don’t know YOUR children. Every set of twins is different so like everyone else here I have no idea what is best.

I’d advise you to go onto the TAMBA website and read the recent research studies on this topic. There is lots of information on when it might help or hinder twins to be together or apart. I think there is a questionnaire you can fill in and you can call them too to talk through it. Speak to those who know your children best and find out what they are like when you’re not there. Ask their current nursery/childcare providers for their opinion. Ask your twins what they think. And go with your gut.

I am pleased to hear the school do not have a policy on this and are allowing those who actually know the children to decide! Also remember whatever you decide that what you do at home will have a far greater impact on your children’s ability to make good friends, be confident and find their own way in the world! Good luck x

I find the fascination of seperating twins scary. Mine are together. I don't regret it at all. The school policy is same class but separated within the class. They are never on the same table or partnered together. I think you need to decide what is best for your twins.

Yes to the volunteering thing! Kept mine together (now y2) and I'm not suffering through two class picnics! Same for class WhatsApp groups, all class parties, and at our school the two classes in each year have to go in in PE kit, scruffy kit etc on different days. I can't be bothered with that.

Of course, if them being together was negatively affecting them in any way, I'd separate. And their school mixes up classes every year, so plenty of opportunity to separate them if need be. So far, none of the teachers have been bothered about them being together. They ignore each other most of the time.