Twins

[sharkyandme]

I'm feeling stretched at the moment.

We have 4 year old twins and we have struggled. The twins are beautiful but it has been difficult.

We've had the pandemic. The uncertainty of it all. I've managed to secure easy but temporary work (difficult to find work that fits in with raising twins part time - you just want to collapse on the desk on your days in work).

Financially it's been difficult.

And the most difficult thing is that no one sees our struggle. It's different to having one baby. My "maternity leave" never ended and you can't financially plan for two.

To top it all off I'm being made redundant and the twins are attending full time education from September. I should be excited but I'm really stressed and anxious. I regularly cry too.

I'm trying to find a new job, cope with a primary school empty nest that changed my life for the past 4 years and a redundancy. It feels like there's an elephant on my chest.

I’m so sorry no one has replied yet, the multiples board can be a bit hit and miss

Firstly I’d like you to acknowledge just how difficult having twins is. I have 3 year old girls and it’s harder than I could have ever imagined. Unless you have twins yourself you absolutely cannot understand just how hard it it, how you have to juggle, referee and make sacrifices in a way that other singleton parents don’t have to think about. That’s not to say that they aren’t worth it, they totally are, they are a joy, my proudest creation but I have to acknowledge this last 3 years have put a strain on my marriage that I wasn’t expecting.

Soooo my point is, you are doing amazingly well to get through the last 4 years with all the additional strains you have.

Try and look at twins starting school as an opportunity, time for you to breath a little, yes of course you will miss them desperately but use the time as an opportunity to decompress a little. Maybe once the twins go to school you will be able to obtain a little more balance (at this stage I realise that I may be trying as much to convince myself of what will happen when my girls go to school 😂)

You’re doing amazingly well don’t forget that xx

My twins are nearly two, and whilst I feel so blessed, it’s so bloody hard. I really feel for you with everything you’ve said. Hang in there, getting them to the point of school is a huge achievement. Hopefully it will be easier after that…(that’s what I’m telling myself anyway!)

Thank you so much for your reply. You have no idea what saying something so nice means. Thanks for your support.

Sorry you’re having a tough time. Sounds like there’s a lot of big changes afoot in your life, and everything happening is making you question what will happen to you next?

My twins are only just 1, so I’m a few years off where you are- still in the thick of it. But I can imagine having similar feelings a few years down the line. My eldest starts school in September, but I haven’t had time or mental energy to really reflect on this, the babies are my life right now. It’s so pressured having young twins- so of course when you have some breathing space as they get older, it will make you reflect.