10 weeks not sleeping in cot

[amb319]

Hi all, We have 10-week old b/g twins (7 weeks corrected), who refuse to sleep in their cot. We started out with a next-to-me, but they outgrew that last week so we now have a cot bed with the third side down attached to my side of the bed. They are exclusively breastfed on demand, and we don't have them on a routine during the day (that's a whole other post, but also a vicious cycle with the lack of sleep), but they do go to bed consistently around 8.30pm. They feed, and then both get put in their cot. They'll initially settle, but wake up after around 20 minutes, and from there won't go any longer than that in the cot. I would be happy to co-bed (as a temporary solution), which works for one twin at a time, but I can only have one of them close enough to me to make any difference, so my husband ends up sitting up all night (sometimes quite literally) trying to settle the other one / sitting in bed with them awake while they sleep. We've tried white noise, changing temperature of the room, warming the cot mattress, putting in a muslin with my milk - so far nothing has worked. Over the past few days they have both (on different occasions) slept for four hours during the day (they usually also nap on me in a sling, but will occasionally sleep in the pram with some motion), so they are starting to be capable of going for longer stretches, just not in their cot. I'm open to sleep training them at some point, but assume it's rather early to be doing that. Any suggestions appreciated. Many thanks, Alice

[KristinaYang]

Oh bless you, sounds like you’re doing a fab job! Only advice I have is a ‘rocket’ which attaches to pram/cot/anything that wriggles the pram so babies feel that rocking motion. That helped my DD when she was tiny. And yes I’d say 10 weeks is still a little young to sleep train but I could well be very wrong! There’s been posts on here before about sleep training advisers, have a search. Good luck and congratulations on your babies.

[WTF475878237NC]

At seven weeks corrected they're in the fourth trimester so most babies in this period want the smell/warmth/comfort of you (or a human body) not to be separate. This is especially the case with multiples. It also isn't unusual that some babies just hate being put down due to issues like silent reflux, usually worse at night. But honestly I think you're expecting too much too soon from these tiny people.. including trying to put breastfed babies on a schedule at all!

Lots of useful stuff on Kelly Mom and La Leche League.

[MuchTooTired]

Have you tried putting them in a cot each? Mine went into their own beds at 8 weeks, they’d outgrown their next to me crib and were keeping each other awake kicking and fighting. Once they had their own space they started sleeping for 5 hour stretches at night which was bliss.

A very gentle routine I’d suggest is doing everything twice either together or one after the other to try to get them in synch, with a hope that sleep will follow!

I was advised by the community mw to do everything twice (she’d had twins) and it worked beautifully for mine. But I’m secretly convinced they were pretty agreeable to this idea, I didn’t bf and the few days before she told me this were hell.

[pinkprettyroses]

The only thing that helped with my little boy was to put a hot water bottle in the cot before getting in so he would feel warmth when put down.

Kudos to you breastfeeding 2 babies in demand! Amazing.

[didihearthatright123456]

Our girls at that age were keeping each other awake with their constant grunting (caused by being prem).

In the end my husband went into the spare room with one of our girls and I stayed in our bedroom with the other one - we'd swap and change as we needed to, but ours were on prem baby milk so wasn't breast feeding, however we got them both up at the same time for their feed.

I know how difficult it is at this stage it feels so overwhelming, but if you can get yourself into a bit more of a routine I think it will really help.

Don't forget this is temporary, and kudos to you for breastfeeding both, but don't forget about looking after you. Are you expressing so your DH can help feed them sometimes?

[amb319]

Thank you all for these thoughtful responses! We did try warming the cot (and putting a bmilk soaked muslin in there) which worked well, so we'll try that again.
@KristinaYang - thanks for the 'rockit' recommendation - that sounds like it might work, at least for daytime pram naps!
@didihearthatright123456 - I'm not expressing (for various reasons I find it's overall easier not to), but dh does everything except feeds - nappy changes, rocking, settling (plus he does a daily pram walk nap while i sleep).

[istandwithukraine]

Are they in a cot together? Mine moved from sharing a next2me to sharing a cot - I found they settled much better together rather than apart