MY TWINS WONT SLEEP

[cduffs]

Can anyone offer any advice for two very exhausted parents.

My twins are almost 17 months and do not I repeat Do Not sleep through the night.

A typically day usually starts around 8:30/9 we get up do nappy's get breakfast, they play for a bit depending on their mood they either get lunch before or after their nap. Nap time is 12/1230- 2. After this we play some more sometimes go drives/park all weather depending. We have dinner (bath day is usually Wednesday and Sunday) me an hubby gets things sorted in the house then supper and leave about 15/20 minutes before bottle then bed. They will sleep for 2/3 hours max and then scream bloody murder until morning in a constant cycle

We've tried everything!!!

Cry it out - fail
Sleep separate - fail
Sleep together- fail
Co sleep - fail
Bigger supper - fail
Earlier bedtime - fail
Later bedtime - fail
Antihistamine with sleepiness (they have allergies this medication was prescribed by dr) - big fat fail

We are at a loss and feel like we're never going to get out of the cycle of never sleeping,

Any advice tips and or tricks we are willing to try thanks in advance!!!!!!!!!!

You need to get them up around 6.30/7 if you want them to sleep at night.

www.babycentre.co.uk/a7687/establishing-good-sleep-habits-18-to-24-months

They only need 10-12 hours at night plus one nap.

Also can you separate them at night - are they waking each other up?

I’m not sure I have a lot of answers but couldn’t read and run. It is the worst when twins won’t sleep.
By sleep together/apart do you mean same bed or same room? Or both? If not both, I’d try the option you haven’t tried yet. Even if that means putting one in a portacot in your room for a few days.
I also introduced the glow dreaming with my twins around that age - it’s a red nightlight crossed with a pink (yes pink not white) noise machine crossed with a humidifier and particularly calming essential oil in it. It wasn’t a silver bullet but it absolutely helped. Still helps actually. My girls are 5 and still have it on every night.

My only other thought is sleep school - do you have one near you? They might be able to help you figure out what is making them wake up.

@Greygreenblue I've tried same cot , different cot , separate room everything nothing seemed to worked. Surprisingly no they don't wake each-other up it's more of a tag team effort until eventually they are both up. What does a we just bought them a light each £50 for the two it worked for 1 night then nothing we don't have a sleep school where we live but once I figure this out I'm opening my own one LOL

Also I just want to add we are first time parents at 23 to twins so we are STRUGGLING !

I'd definitely wake them up much earlier in the morning, like 6am. Cut there nap to one hour and bath them every night! X

I'd try 6.30am wake up, nap @ 11.30 - 12.30/1pm and then bedtime @ 7/7.30pm and see what happens.

Wake up 6.30am

Lunch 11.30

Sleep 12-1

Busy activities / Walking / crawling / fresh air
No naps

Bedtime 7pm

See if that works

I also think you need to get them out in the morning to do a toddler group or something, back for lunch then nap. Then head out again around 3pm for some fresh air to wear them out.

I appreciate getting twins ready to go anywhere would be hard work - especially now they're moving around. But they just need to be worn out. It's exhausting 🥱

Thank you to each and every one of yous who took the time out to reply!

We have stopped any tv from 6pm and just did wind down time and bed for 8! So far so good (pray for us lol) they have tested positive for covid now also so that's another factor against us

@ForTheLoversOutThere

Wake up 6.30am

Lunch 11.30

Sleep 12-1

Busy activities / Walking / crawling / fresh air
No naps

Bedtime 7pm

See if that works

Absolutely this! If you can bath them every night, I know it feels like a chore but it really goes help.

I have nearly 3 year old twins, who are in separate rooms. They’re normally up for 6.30-7am, one of them can manage without a nap whilst the other really does need a nap. They’ll be bathed & in bed by 6.30-6.45pm

Good luck, I know it can feel like torture (literally) when they don’t sleep xxxx

Has their sleep improved since you posted? How are they falling asleep each night?

Drop morning nap

Sorry it's not morning nap but a late morning....effectively you're giving them a morning nap!

My twins gave up daytime napping around this age but they did start sleeping 12 hrs at night. If you stop the nap are they nightmares? It’s tricky because they’re obviously 2 separate children but you want them to do the same thing, one of my twins needed much less sleep than the other and used to keep her up.

Wear them out at the park /walk. Even when raining in puddle suits. This made a huge difference for me. Our routine was:
7 am , breastfeed, up, dressed, breakfast, out from about 9-11. Home lunch, breastfeed, nap or quiet time (DD dropped her nap around 18 months but would cuddle on the sofa, watch quiet tv/ books. 12-2
Breastfeed and out again for walk around 3. Back for TV, play, team etc. we used to watch CBeebies bedtime hour at 5 ish.
Started bedtime routine at 6.30 , bath, books, breastfeed and leave when they were awake.

Another one saying bath them every night and a 7am start.

I don't know where you're based but I used a sleep consultant when my son was 14mths and he was sleeping through the night in a week.

She has a Facebook page - Goodnight Guidance, and we did it all remotely so location doesn't matter. Best thing I ever did!! My son is now 3.5 and still sleeps every night.

I had also tried so many things but this took the pressure of me, and instead I just had to do as I was told. Oh and there was no crying it out!!

Have they got worse or always been tricky sleepers?

My DTwins are the same age and we're having a particularly shit patch of sleep because they're a bit under the weather (rather unpleasant cough, but not covid). I've got one twin asleep on my lap right now because he coughed himself awake mid-nap and I couldnt resettle him any other way that feeding/rocking. Mine don't ever sleep through, but we were getting a good 5 hour chunk at the beginning of the night and wakings were brief. Hope we get back to that soon!

How do you settle them to sleep? Do bedtimes tend to be relatively calm or do they put up a lot of resistance?

@charmingbat

Another one saying bath them every night and a 7am start.

See my twins are 15 months - they are up around 5am every day but whether it's bath night or not it seems to make zero difference - tonight has been horrendous and taken 2 hours to get one to sleep ....the other twin
Is still crying

I fully agree with the earlier starts and bedtime. Mine thrive on routine, they know that it goes tea, bath time, bottles, bed, at the same time every night. Be super consistent.

My twin boys are 17 months and great sleepers at night. They sleep from about 7pm til 6am but only thing is they will not nap for even 5 mins throughout the day!!! I am grateful to be getting a night's sleep but I literally am so burnt out by the time it gets 2pm. We go walks, drives, play parks and play for hours. They have a good diet and plenty of fluid. Apparently When I'm at work they don't whinge, cry or fight to get held with their daddy- which is just greeeatttt lol. I have been trying these past few months and not giving in every time they cry or fight but I'm back working full time in Emergency department and I can't even think straight of where to even start.

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

This is what kind of works for our 18 month old twins. But they don't completely sleep through. Most nights we have to get up to them around 2 times but can either settle them quickly. Do this by giving a dummy or holding a hand till they settle (around 5 mins). If this doesnt work occassionally one of us sleeps in their room, girls stay in their cots and we sleep in the spare bed, they will settle with this. So not perfect but it works for us.

Our daily routine
Wake between 6am and 7am
Breakfast 7 ish
School run with eldest 8.30 then go to a toddler group, soft play or park.
Nap 11.30-12.30 then lunch
Or lunch then nap 1-2 depending on what we are doing
Naps are done in pushchair as its the only way I can get both girls to sleep at the same time quickly. I have always done their naps in the pushchair.
Playtime
3pm school run
Playtime with sibling or park after school
5pm dinner
Downtime with books after dinner
6.30 bath time (once we started bathing every night the sleep improved)
7pm bottle and bed. Can take 30 mins to settle to sleep.