Overwhelmed with emotions and stress

[twinmumma25]

My twins are 1 and our boy twin still isn't sleeping through the night (he's legit like a newborn still)

My partner works 40hrs week so isn't home much but the last week or more I've really been struggling to settle him when crying because he wants ANYONE but me so sometimes it takes me ages to settle him, the problem is nobody else sees it and thinks I'm just chatting shit, even if I go take him from someone else he'll INSTANTLY start crying and grabbing onto them.
When family come over and are playing with him as soon as they leave he starts crying and the cycle starts all over again,

Well tonight it's really hit me he woke crying around 1am after 4hrs hours sleep I took him out the cot to save him waking his sister and he cried even harder I gave him a bottle and he just screamed and screamed until my partner eventually woke up and took he instantly stopped crying my partner then turned around and I don't know what you are doing wrong but it needs to stop because him crying like that is ridiculous...

Now I'm back in bed myself just crying to myself because clearly I'm failing my son in some way shape or form

My daughter does be the same but most of the time I can settle he with no issues

I’ll start my saying your not failing your son at all. Babies are strange creatures who randomly go through phases that we as adults don’t understand.

Your DP is failing you! He’s the other parent if his son needs him in the night then he needs him and he should get up and see to him
Not belittle you for struggling. Working full time doesn’t mean he can’t be a parent.

Twins can’t be easy, your doing an amazing job. Your DP needs to up his game not you x

Hello from a fellow twin mum with non-sleeping twin. I have the opposite problem that dd will only settle for me. She’s been awake since 1.30 and only calm down when I kneel next to the cot and hold her hand.
Sorry things are tough….could it be a sleep regression if he’s slept well until now? Hang in there, as I keep telling myself, this will pass (one day).

You are doing amazingly - it’s twins ffs!

My child went through a phase around 1 of only wanting dad and of waking randomly in the night to scream the place down. It will pass. Promise yourself something nice for later today - a nap, proper coffee, book some time off for the weekend etc and make sure you do it.

You aren't failing him and your husband shouldn't of said that but you are both obviously very tired . Tbh at 1 I would defo gently sleep train I did just chill mama sleep training programme when dd was 6 months old it took 3 nights and she's slept through 8-8 or there abouts since best decision I made and I didn't feel awful because I never left her room when she was upset you just don't lift them out the cot you can put your hands on them shush them stroke them , pat them just don't lift them out it worked wonders x

If my DH said I was doing it "wrong" he'd get bumped up to doing it every time then. Let him enjoy doing it "right".

You’re not failing him at all. Maybe your husband should be settling him in the night if that’s what works?

Children often play up and show their emotional side to their caregivers as they feel safe. My twins complain at me, but are all smiles when visitors come round.

Also, my first was (still is) a poor sleeper and some children are just like that I’m afraid. It’s nothing you’ve done. With my twins one is a high-needs baby who struggles to sleep and the other is a textbook baby who loves his sleep. It’s luck of the draw.

Hopefully this is just a phase and he’ll outgrow it soon.

Hi OP!

Must be a boy thing! My boy/ girl twins are only 3 months but I’ve noticed DS settles so much better for Daddy than he does for me. I think it’s because he’s got big arms and is a lot more comfy when DH is holding him! He sometimes screams like he just hates me. 🤣 Least I can still get my baby girl cuddles!

I dont take it personally, like a PP has said babies can be weird! It is probably because he feels safe with you. My eldest hated DH until she was about 14 months, and then went through a few I don’t like Mummy stages. Now age 3 we are very close!

Sorry no advice about the sleeping- just to say I’m sure it will resolve soon. DH and I always share the nights- would this be an option for you?

If your DH can settle him then your DH gets up for him in the night now.

He might be at work during the day but you're also working all day looking after twins.

He needs to step up.

@Lindy2 is absolutely right! And twins are WAY harder than a day at ‘work’!