Breastfeeding twins

[maryella]

I have 4 week old twin girls and 2yr old and 4 year old boys. I have so far been mix feeding, (breast, pumping and formula). I'm finding it so hard. I breastfed my boys until they were 1 and I was hoping to be able to do the same with the twins but it's seeming more and more impossible everyday. We've had a bumpy start, with jaundice and slow weight gain (hence the formula top ups) and both twins were in hospital last week needing feeding tubes and oxygen for a virus. This just after we had spent a week on the sofa getting breastfeeding figured out and was actually starting to feel abit more positive. Today I started putting them at the breast again and it was so painful and they weren't getting enough so I had to give top ups after as I was in to much pain to have them on me for hours. I am contemplating pumping for as long as I can and giving formula along with that. But it fills me with guilt that I can't breastfeed them like I did my boys. Feel like I'm being selfish in wanting to stop putting them to the breast and should just grin and bear it through the pain and long hours. But I have my other two boys who I need it look after. I'm just so conflicted in what to do. Breastfeeding has always been important to me and I'm so proud of what I did with my boys I'm finding it really hard to accept that I can't do it this time and feel like I'm failing my girls already.

I feel like you could be me six years ago. The girls ended up being bf due to a cows milk allergy so they threw up formula. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy it was awful and I was very sleep deprived. It did get easier though. School for the youngest, nursery funding kicked in for the middle child. They're all at school now and I've gone back to being a functioning human being.

In all honesty whatever you need to do to get through. Formula/ top ups. Be kind to yourself. Not sure about rules nowadays but I found a nice soft play/ adventure park and got a season ticket. Many, many days were whiled away on the sofa in the soft play bf.

4 kids under 5, you are a rock star!

I know why you feel the need to give them what you gave the others but you have to give yourself a break, the circumstances aren't the same. With the best will in the world none of us parent our 3rd/4th kids in the same way we did our 1st, sometimes we do better, sometimes we do worse, but we are doing our best!

I don't have much advice, I think you are a hero for trying. Getting breastfeeding established with one is a mission, I can't imagine two. I just couldn't read and run. If breastfeeding is important to you then please reach out to an NHS peer support for advice or, if open, get to a breastfeeding group. Feeding two must be a different game and I'm sure those with experience have tips. But please please don't feel guilty. I am a madsive advocate of breastfeeding (mostly for the benefits for mums) but I am also bloody sure that noone can tell who had formula and who had boob when they are all on the playground.

From a practical perspective have you tried the multi mam compresses for the pain? They are aaaaamazing. You get them from Boots. They aren't cheap but I would cut one in half so they'd go twice as far. I also kept them in the fridge.

Also, for me, the horrific stinging burning pain lasted 10-14 days per baby. Its sooo so grim, but remembering that it will end soon helps (whereas with my first I couldn't believe that they would ever heal).

Good luck, but please lose the guilt!

I felt a similar guilt although I could only breastfeed older DD for 4 months as that was when I had to go back to work full time. My twins were in NICU for nearly 4 weeks but I pumped and breastfed the whole time and then managed another 4 weeks when they came home. To be honest this time I was sort of relieved - I felt like I'd done my "bit" doing it for the initial weeks but because I couldn't tandem feed and had to do one after the other feeds took up to 90 mins every 3 hours and it was just becoming too much. The sleep improved hugely when they went on formulae! 🥳

Is there anyone who could help with the older ones for a few days so you can focus on feeding the babies? You’re only going to get your supply up with loads of skin to skin time and not doing much else. However- fed is best (and I say that as someone who breastfed twins for two years and am very pro breastfeeding), you aren’t in a typical situation and if you don’t have much help then tiny baby twins plus three older ones is a huge amount of hard work so whatever gets you all through the day....

Go easy on yourself and don’t expect too much. I also had 4 under 5 and it is so very hard. I used a cushion and positioned my twins one under each armpit facing forward to feed. But if it’s not working for you, just give up, you’ve got enough on your plate with just surviving each day. A baby is not going to feel deprived or less loved than it’s siblings about something it won’t even remember in 5 years time, am sure you are a fab mum by even worrying about this xxx

Have you seen the breastfeeding twins and triplets Facebook group? It's amazing and so much advice and support. I think getting started with feeding my twins was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but once you're established it's so much easier than dealing with bottles all the time, particularly with two.

I'd echo the support you're getting OP.

But I'd add - you know that these are the worst weeks. You know that things do get better after a few more weeks past. Only you will know if you can struggle on for another month or so.

None of us can judge you for either decision, just be sure it's the right one for you and your family. It's ok to stop bf. It's ok to mix feed. It's ok to express. It's all ok.

Hi I know you started this thread a month or so ago OP. Just wondering if you are still breastfeeding?

I stopped around 6 weeks with mine (was mix feeding) I have no regrets but I do wonder how much easier it would have got if I kept at it!

@Imatwinmum

Hi I know you started this thread a month or so ago OP. Just wondering if you are still breastfeeding?

I stopped around 6 weeks with mine (was mix feeding) I have no regrets but I do wonder how much easier it would have got if I kept at it!

Hi, only just seen this. I ended up stopping at about 6 weeks too. I just couldn't continue, I too think should I have just kept at it and would it have become easier. It's something I have really struggled with and don't think I'll ever feel ok that I couldn't do it.