New twin Mum struggling.

[Mummytomylittlegirl]

Hello,

I’ve posted quite a bit before about my pregnancy!

Now twins are just over 3 weeks old..

I am really struggling with the change and the lack of sleep. Even though, they are actually easier than my DD was (now 3), I just find the constantly feeding/ nappies so relentless with two.

I absolutely adore them and I’m obsessed with my beautiful babies. Wouldn’t have it any other way. But I do think how easy life would be if I didn’t have twins, and what an absolute walk in the park it would be if I’d just had one baby the second time around.

I guess I am just feeling overwhelmed at the responsibility of going from 1-3. I feel like I’m missing out a lot on activities with my 3 year old.

Oh and my body looks completely ruined from my twin pregnancy (c section), I’m feeling pretty low about that too. I also feel crap that breastfeeding hasn’t really worked out and they’re pretty much having 90% formula now. I can’t be bothered to express much more and they don’t get much milk when they latch on, I might just give up completely but can’t seem to let go of the fact I will never breastfeed again.

Just wondering if anyone can relate?

Oh regarding breastfeeding. I didn't bother even starting. Sorry not sorry. We went straight to formula, my husband and family could help feed and I wasn't touched out. We also bought the perfect prep and disposable bottles. They are perfectly healthy and hardly any viruses. To me, happy mum , happy babies.

[quote Mummytomylittlegirl]@TheMagicDeckchair your situation sounds identical to mine, right down to the experience breastfeeding twins! That’s great you are getting out with them- Id honestly be so proud of myself if I managed a walk around the block. I do genuinely worry that I am becoming a bit scared to leave the house in general, I didn’t really take DD out alone when pregnant because I could barely move and I worried she would run off! I’m going to have to push myself to get my independence back. It’s such a weird bubble to be in when you have two newborns. I’m going to take your advice about recovering before tackling weight loss. I don’t think I’m in the right mindset and need the comfort of nice food.

I think we will definitely get a cleaner! Sleeping arrangements are a bit odd at the moment, we share half the night sleeping downstairs with the twins. As they wake too frequently to bother bringing them upstairs and they are still in the Moses baskets which we can’t be bothered to bring upstairs/ downstairs each night and morning. I’m hoping we can move them into their own rooms/ cots when they are sleeping for longer stretches.

It’s actually been an okay day today.. one of those sleepy baby days. Probably means they will be up most of the night though…[/quote]
I have 13 week old twins. Your set up for night time is very similar to what we did. To begin with one of us would always be awake, because our girls needed near constant attention. In the last few weeks we have noticed that our twins are sometimes having an initial longer stretch of sleep of 3 hours or so, so we've been trying all four of us sleeping in the bedroom at night.

I really found it hard to read that other babies the same age were sleeping for 4-5 hour stretches at night. I couldn't understand why my twins were not managing that, and I really felt quite bad about it. However, my twins were small, approx 4lbs each at birth, and they simply don't have tummies big enough to go without a feed for that long. Often we are still on two hourly feeds. The parenting book I am reading says not to expect your babies to sleep for longer stretches until they weigh at least 11lbs. My girls are not quite there yet so I'm trying to give myself a break with that.

I'm very worried about the long days when my husband is back at work full time too. I really sympathise, OP. I am going to try and have set days for a few things if possible, just to give the week a little bit of structure. Your health visitor may be able to refer you to Homestart. They arrange for a volunteer to spend a few hours a week with you to help with day to day tasks, or just to hold the babies while you have a shower. It's worth looking in to.

If you'd like to keep in touch, I am very happy to exchange mobile numbers. I can send a PM if you'd like to keep in touch.

No twin experience, but just wanted to say you're all amazing.

I intended to talk about feeding and sterilising in my previous post. Apologies if you've got that sorted, but it might be helpful to hear how others have worked it out.

We have a perfect prep machine, which is an absolute godsend. We make up a feed of for e.g. 7 ounces, and then split it between two bottles. We used formula from birth.

We use microwave sterilising bags for when we are out and about. (£6 for 5 from Boots. Each bag works 20 times). The bags are sterile for three hours after they've been in the microwave. We use ready made formula when we are out, and sometimes for the odd feed at home if needed.

For sterilising, we have settled on cold water sterilising with Milton fluid. We have a plastic tub with a lid that lives on the draining board, and we add and remove stuff throughout the day. The fluid is sterile for 24hrs. We added a 5 litre line to the tub so changing the water is as easy as possible with no measuring. I didn't have a clue about sterilising, and it took some trial and error to find the system that works for us.

What bottles are you using? We had stocked up on Tommee Tippee beforehand, but all the nurses in hospital advised against that brand as many babies don't get on with them. Due to the size of my twin girls, their mouths were too small for the Tommee Tippee teats anyway. We were advised to buy some standard neck bottles, the ones from Boots are just a few pounds for a pack of three. They are absolutely perfect for my girls. Whilst in hospital, the nurses also advised us to try the medium flow teats as the slow ones can be quite frustrating for babies.

We also have a separate plastic tub in the sink to wash bottles. That way there is no cross contamination, and we don't need to ensure the sink is clean each time we wash up bottles as it's all in a separate tub. Anything to help make things a bit easier is absolutely worth it.

Apologies if you have this all sorted.

Just to add, we have 8 bottles on the go. That way we always have a pair ready to use. We have two on the go, four in the steriliser at any one time, and two ready to be sterilised so we are not scrambling to wash bottles in between feeds.

I use the MAM bottles - that's what the doctors used in my NICU so figured if good enough for them then must be something about them....I have the self sterilising ones - you put them in the microwave for a couple of minutes to sterilise and that's it. I have a perfect prep machine for nights. I personally don't like to make up loads of bottles in advance as the instructions say not to and I'm paranoid about poisoning them (never used formula with older DD) but to be honest In the first few months it's hard being out for any length of time anyway and I have emergency ready to pour bottles (although one twin hates them)

Congratulations.
I don't have twins but did have a c-section so just wanted to say that I wished someone had told me to wear proper c-section support pants to help my tummy get back to it's pretty-pregnancy position! I now how an overhang that isn't going to go away. I know it's probably the last thing on your mind but as you mentioned your tummy I didn't want to read and run.

*Pre-pregnancy!

@Mummytomylittlegirl how are you going on now? Are things getting any easier?

I’m still finding it relentless and exhausting here. I think I’ve reached that point where the sleepless nights build up. I’ve been quite short tempered with 3yo, which I feel terrible about. DH is now taking alternate Fridays as annual leave so it means that I can have some quality time with DD alone whilst he takes the twins. Can your partner take any extra holiday to help out?

I definitely think how easy a 3yo and one baby would be! Looking back when we had just DD life seemed so incredibly simple.

The good news is that I’ve lost over 1/2 stone since starting calorie counting. Can’t say it’s always been easy especially with the tiredness, but I feel better for getting it under control. Just one more stone to go!

My twins are 16 months and I promise it gets easier! Mine napped a lot in the pram when they were small and I followed wake windows/ sleepy cues or they would stay awake all day.