Tips for twins

[dillyanddally]

Does anyone have any top tips for making life easier with twins? Mine are 8 weeks now and I'm struggling, mainly with the lack of sleep that comes with this stage but also with the constant demands, day and night. I have very little family support and have searched online for twin groups in my area - there's only 1 which is quite a distance but also only runs in term time so no good over this summer now.

I just feel like there must be something I'm missing, some secrets to it, because surely this can't be it. It's relentless.

The best thing I did was wake the other if one woke to feed at night.
Feels like an absolute killer when you've just put the first one down to get the other up, but worth it as you get decent sleep in between feeds. Then their naps tend to merge too.

It is relentless even with help.
Remember every stage passes, remember if both are crying you have to make a judgement call as to which baby you deal with first.
Are you breastfeeding?
Have a look at how to feed both at the same time.
Have you got 2 bouncy chairs, or swings as well as moses baskets?
You have 1 pair of hands and recognising this is a big part of it from a mental perspective.

Mine are 12 now. It goes in a blink of an eye honest. Which isn't helpful I know.

It is relentless though, even if you end up in a perfect routine. It is just constant that first year. Take it easy on yourself

They are pretty much in sync, waking around the same time for feeds one after the other in the night. I've tried feeding both at the same time but not mastered it cos neither of them seemed happy, fussing and spilling their milk and crying, each wanting holding properly. I'm ff due to them having bottles in hospital.

I normally go for whoever's crying the most but I do worry about leaving the other. Ok, it's never for that long but it could still be harmful. The noise goes through me and I feel like no matter what I do someone's not happy!

Also thank you all for being so lovely and understanding..and not making me feel the need to add some kind of disclaimer about being grateful for what I've got..!!

Ok, it's never for that long but it could still be harmful. The noise goes through me and I feel like no matter what I do someone's not happy!

I don’t know whether it’s harmful or not; but there is nothing you can do about it. It will happen in the next few years, that one say is hungry and the other has a dirty nappy. You can’t do both things at once, so one has to cry for a bit longer. I found eventually I could mentally shut the noise out; so DH could not drive if they were screaming in the back; but I could.

For me, the first 18 months was a blur, due to tiredness; it is relentless. Children get better imo, as they learn to talk (so they can express what they want) and can gradually do more for themselves.

If you can possibly afford it, get a cleaner. Anyway the first 6 months, we lived on things like meat, with jacket potatoes and salad - which require practically no cooking techniques. Shepherds pie was beyond me, as there are too many stages! Looking back, I should have done batch cooking!

Dts are 10 now. What I did in the first year-
Bought ready made carton milk
They lived in babygros
At night we had one each, dh got the better sleeper as was working
We ate ready meals
Had bouncy chairs, bumbos, jumparoo and a swinging chair around the place and put them in different things when they got bored
Woke them together and napped together from 4 months
To feed together sit in the middle of the sofa with a cushion on your lap. Their heads on your lap with their legs going out to the arm rests
If they’re both screaming tired put them in the car and drive. Hopefully they’ll nod off
Try a dummy if you’re not already

Thought of another thing I used to do. I’d acknowledge that everything I wanted or needed to happen that day wouldn’t because it was tough. Then when anything did go to plan it was a really good feeling. That sounds really negative but it had the opposite effect. I went into every day very realistic and any high was even sweeter.

We used to look after one each at weekends, and every so often swap over, so we didn't end up with one too attached to one of us. (We also had an older DS, so one of us always had two to look after)

I just feel like there must be something I'm missing, some secrets to it, because surely this can't be it. It's relentless.
It's just really, really hard tbh! But you will get through it. For feeding, I always fed them both together (at least for night feeds) and I would prop them up on a v-shaped pillow on my lap.

The first year is bonkers. I think accepting that it's going to be tough but get better is key. I promise it gets better!
I was obsessed with routine with mine and used to get them to nap in their pram at the same time, feed them at the same time, change them at the same time etc etc. Didn't always work but does give you little stretches of down time sometimes.
Just hold on in there.

I think 8 weeks was probably the hardest bit and then mine settled down after that - I have zero help from DH as he works a very early morning shift and also have a 5 year old

• wake the other to feed them in the middle of the night unless they are clearly showing a pattern of wanting to sleep through
• don't have any expectations about how much or how little you get done during the day
• it's ok to go to bed at 8pm with a book and hot chocolate 🤣
• get a cleaner once a week if you can afford it or someone to help with the ironing
• limit visitors unless they pick up an iron or cook you dinner 🤣
• lots of walks in the pram
• batch cooking (I don't really like ready meals and wanted to shift the last of my pregnancy weight)
• relax into it as much as you can - crying isn't going to harm them. Maybe it's because these arent my first children but I'm a lot more confidant this time round - babies will cry no matter what you do - you aren't a bad mother if one has to cry whilst you are sorting the other out

Mine are 6 months now and don't really nap or eat at the same time - it's relentless but means I have more one on one time

I found feeding them bottles in bouncer chairs was the easiest way after about 8 weeks. Before that I'd have one lying of each thigh facing out (if that makes sense!)

not making me feel the need to add some kind of disclaimer about being grateful for what I've got..!! haha yeah no need for that business among other twin parents

I agree with @Duckyneedsaclean on the bouncy chairs…they’re life savers. Even helped me get them into a routine with napping…I bathed one, the other was in the bouncy chair…two unsettled babies, bouncy chair. Want to watch a bit of TV, bouncy chair with brew in hand and foot to bounce the chairs with (you can overlap them slightly so only one foot required). I was gutted when they grew out of them!

I didn’t use them for night feeds, just sort of propped pillows up and best I could for one and lay another baby on upright knees.

It is tough at times but you got this 💪🏻

Mine are now 7. I decided early on that all rules were out I was going to do whatever was easiest. I bottle and breast fed, made up bottles with water and measured out powder so just mixed in the middle of the night. They had gros on permanently and if we were out and one got dirty they just wore the other ones. Jars of baby food.... got a cleaner... anything to make life easier x

Mine hate their bouncy chairs 🤦‍♀️

A tommee tippee perfect prep machine saved my life though for night time feeds

Not sure how to quote individual posters but thanks again all. I'm doing a good few of these already; bottles, dummies, babygros, bouncer (although they don't really like that or last long in that one). I just can't master feeding at the same time - they either spill their bottles or fuss with them cos I'm not holding them and the bottle - and then throw the milk up cos I can't wind both!!!

It's good to hear 8 weeks may be a hard bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting it to get easier that soon (or ever get THAT much easier!) but some days it just seems impossible. There's SO much crying.

Also have an older child to entertain, also a struggle at the moment as naturally newborn needs come first to a large extent and getting out the house is a task!! You'd think since this isn't my first rodeo I wouldn't be finding it so hard but I'm just SO exhausted.

I know where you’re coming from. It’s tough when you have one pair of hands and two babies. I have exactly the same issues you have described with baby juggling. Mine are 3 months and I have a pre-schooler too so I’m at a similar stage to you. It’s so relentless.

I think what helps me is that I expected this stage to be utter chaos. And I know it’s hard now but it won’t be forever. I don’t expect to achieve much in this time except raising the babies, and keeping my older child happy.

Don’t worry too much about getting out of the house, you’re only 8 weeks in. Plenty of time for that. You’ll probably find that cabin fever drives you out some days, and on others it just doesn’t happen.

With our twins, we used to wake one up early so their feed was over just as the other was stirring. Yes to bouncy chairs or prop them up on a pillow to keep them semi-upright. We formula fed too and always had bottles made up in the fridge. Remember, fed is best.
It does get better. I promise! Ours are now 6&1/2 so are now presenting new challenges!

Sometimes I'm not sure whether it's harder or easier to feed both at once or not!! Waking a sleeping baby goes against every fibre of my being in the night too but fortunately I don't have to as they pretty much wake up together or one shortly after the other. Re making up bottles for the fridge, I've got a perfect prep machine, is warming a fridge bottle any quicker or shall I just stick with that?

Does there come a point when they stop needing winding overnight? And nappy changes? (I know this happened with my first but I can't remember when). Also if anyone can shed any light on how to wind both simultaneously that'd be great, and hopefully lead to me getting baby sick on me less...

@TheMagicDeckchair are you still struggling with these things at 3 months? Has there been any improvement in sleep?? (You can be honest, I'm not getting my hopes up!)

I don't like making bottles up in advance for the fridge.... 1) because it's not in accordance with the instructions and I'm paranoid about inadvertently poisoning them 😬 2) it will come out cold and then you've still got to warm it up So I'd stick with the prep machine

I found winding at night was loads better as soon as I could keep them upright more during the day - eg holding head better, propped up on pillows and using a bouncy chair (although they don't really like them). One twin has always been really easy to wind - within seconds - the other has taken ages - 15-20 mins.

My twins are 6 months now - they will still wind in the night but literally takes seconds and they are back in the cot asleep. Nappy changes there are no real routine to - one did a 💩 in the night so had to be changed but I'd say I only really change in the middle of the junta if there happy feels really full and they are at risk of waking with wet clothes/cot sheets

In terms of winding both at the same time do you have one that is able to sort of self wind? One of mine if you prob up on a pillow will do a big burp himself whilst I'm winding the other one which needs a bit of help?

I make up bottles in advance and store in a portable fridge we keep in the bedroom. A friend who had twins in NICU said they made up bottles in advance there so if it’s good enough for premature babies in NICU I’m comfortable doing that. We’ve also used ready made in the past too.

One twin needs winding- he sleeps on a wedge so I just sit him up on there to wind. The other less so and he often falls asleep on the bottle so I let him sleep. I do one nappy change overnight (now in size 3s) but I do them in the cot quickly as long as they haven’t pooped! It’s much easier than picking one up and shuffling to the changing table.

They are sleeping reasonably well at night now- one first wakes around 1.30 and the other can sleep until 3. After that they wake fairly frequently so I just let them sleep.

Feeding

Sit crossed legged and have each on a knee.

Feed one for 10 mins then flip over to wind - whilst winding feed the other for 10 mins - flip over and wind

Then give the first a top up!

All whilst signing nursery rhymes to the toddler and trying to listen to the news!

Give it a try

@OneToThree

Dts are 10 now. What I did in the first year- Bought ready made carton milk They lived in babygros At night we had one each, dh got the better sleeper as was working We ate ready meals Had bouncy chairs, bumbos, jumparoo and a swinging chair around the place and put them in different things when they got bored Woke them together and napped together from 4 months To feed together sit in the middle of the sofa with a cushion on your lap. Their heads on your lap with their legs going out to the arm rests If they’re both screaming tired put them in the car and drive. Hopefully they’ll nod off Try a dummy if you’re not already

100% agree with everything you said!

My DT’s are 28 months now, a dummy saved our sanity when I was feeding one whilst rocking the other in the bouncer with my foot.

Strangely I now look at that time as being the “easy” stage 😂😂