Twin baby sleepover

[cduffs]

Hi I'm looking for advice.

My OH booked a night away for us this Saturday but made the arrangements with a babysitter before I knew. My mum always watches the babies if we have something to do as she has practically raised them with me. Don't get me wrong his mum is great too but always works so doesn't have a lot of experience with them so it's making me not want to go away in fear she will struggle as they are a handful. I've tried to say to my OH that she can take them all day and my mum will collect them and they will spend the night with her, meaning she gets the full day with them without the nightmare of bedtime but I'm being controlling and taking it away from his mum? Surely my opinion on who watches my children should mean more than his mum having a sleepover no? Am I wrong for wanting this

I have twin GC (from my DSS), I was a nervous wreck the first time I had them overnight, but it was all fine, I still get nervous if its been a while since I've had them but once they are here, I work out how to handle it.

I'd have been really upset if DSS & his DP kept suggesting I wouldn't cope and taking them back to his mum as she seems them more (I work full time, she doesn't).

I think you have been pretty rude implying that only people with twins can know how your feeling. Leaving your baby gives you these reservations regardless of it being one or two babies.

@FawnFrenchieMum thanks for your opinion I value it however don't feel like I have been rude at all for wanting the opinions of twin mums rather than people who aren't in my same situation Hence why I posted the thread in multiple births I would have posted it on a normal thread if I wanted everyone's opinions

I think your point is fair enough. Having them with your mum is basically like them staying with their third parent, but your in laws would feel more like someone babysitting. If she’s reasonable she would surely understand this. I would!

@wishing3 thank you for understand my point of view, they live in my mums house with me so if they can sleep in their own bed I'd rather that after having a fun filled day with their other grandmother

You have been rude OP so you might want to check how you come across if you can’t see it, but you also seem concerned that your MIL has a good experience and that your babies are happy - I don’t think anyone can blame you for that.

FWIW, I don’t have kids of my own (yet, 6 months pregnant atm), I’ve always managed with my sisters kids on my own though. They aren’t the same age, she’s got a 9 month old and a 4yr old, that’s quite challenging in itself because they need very different things. Ive always managed though.

I hope you enjoy your night however it goes :-)

@elenacampana I'll try to enjoy it thanks for your input. Don't think I've come across rude I wanted the input from twin mums hence why I posted in multiple births, twin mums have a completely different experience to people with two children at different ages. I'm no way saying I have it harder or anything along those lines, if I has come across rude then I'm sorry but that is the readers prerogative

I'd just say "I'd like them to sleep in their own beds. I love that they will be spending the day with you, you will all have a lovely time. But, I'm really only going to settle knowing they are in their own beds. I know its daft, but I want to enjoy my night away and part of that is them being in their own beds. Do you want to drop them off at 6 or shall my mum come get them?"

I always pulled the "argh, I'm the neurotic new mum" angle if there was every a situation I wanted an easy get out of.

People really don’t understand that having two babies is complete different to a baby and a toddler, or a baby and a preschooler.

My twins are nearly 5 but both disabled and in many ways it’s like caring for much younger children, but it’s still not as tough as it was when they were babies. Two needing to be fed, waking at different times, more frequent changes etc - it’s really full on and i had DH to help me.

No one has ever offered to have them overnight (even before they regressed and were diagnosed with ASD) and I can’t really say I blame them - it’s really tough!

Having said that, the worst that will baloney is that she will be knackered and won’t want to do it again until they are much older! As long as they have somewhere safe to sleep then I’m sure she will take excellent care of them, it’s just that it will be difficult.

You say one has a medical condition- does this require care during the day / night or monitoring? If so does she know what’s needed?

@cduffs - well this is a forum anyone can comment on so don’t expect an echo chamber.