Surprise multiples and a very anxious single mum

[whoworksforfree]

Please help a panic stricken single mum! My DC is 3, and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again, with the scan showing definitely 2 but possibly 3 babies. I’m due back next week to get another scan and a 4th opinion.

I was just getting my head around giving my DC a much wanted sibling but I honestly have no idea how I’d cope on my own with 3 or 4 children. My earnings aren’t much higher than minimum wage, and even with my son starting school soon and getting free childcare I can’t see how I could afford to work and pay for childcare for the other 2 or 3 children

I’m panicking about how I’d cope alone with multiple babies, whether the mortgage offer I’ve had will now fall through leaving me unable to buy a house, and how such a tight budget will affect my children growing up. So far my DC and I have managed ok, had a few holidays and nice days out, I’ve been able to treat them and buy them things without worrying too much

I’m terrified of having to be in a position where I need to make a heartbreaking decision. I just feel so out of my depth. My dr is lovely but was so optimistic about how I’ll manage somehow. All I can think of is NICU stays, being unable to work this year, and trying to live on benefits with 3 or 4 children and give up buying the house I’ve worked so hard to save a deposit for. My family are great but my mum is older and not able to help out regularly, my other family have commitments themselves. How will I cope caring for multiple babies and not neglecting my DCs needs?

I’ve not stopped crying since I found out. I just need to find somewhere to get help or someone to speak to

Sorry to ask but where is the father can he support at all? Do you have a good friend network around you too x

Hi OP, mum of baby twins and a very boisterous 3 yr old here. I was in shock when I found out it was twins at the scan so I know a little of what you're feeling.

I really recommend finding your local twin club if there's one about, you might find that there's someone in the local area who has been through it too as a single parent and can provide some support and advice.

In the meantime, hold off until you know exactly what your situation is, then have a good think about all your options. It is bloody hard with multiples but you can and do muddle through. You get the mum guilt of not giving any one child enough attention, but you'd get mum guilt even if it was just one additional sibling. And if you decide it's too much for you, then that's absolutely fine. Sending you lots of hugs and sympathy x

Mum of triplets here. It's mind blowing at first when you find out. But bloody wonderful at times. Try not to panic, there is help out there available. Do you have a partner or family nearby? Or someone who can come snd stay? There is a lot to think about but find out what your scan says first so you know what your situation is.

Hope you’re doing ok OP

Thank you all so much. I’m now 15 weeks and pleased to say the shock has worn off and I’m really excited! Surprisingly my family are a lot more excited than I am or than I expected :)

Still a scary journey but roll on September and the start of a new chapter for my little family

Oh and it’s “just” twins. The third baby sadly didn’t make it but two is plenty!

It is a shock but good that you’re getting your head round it. I’m 37 weeks tomorrow with DCDA twins and I still haven’t got my head round it yet! I also have a 3 year old who will soon have two baby siblings. Sorry to hear about the third baby.

Good that your family are excited, my parents have been amazingly supportive throughout my pregnancy and will continue to help out after the birth. It’s been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster with all the extra scans and hormones but it’s actually been a relatively straightforward pregnancy, although it’s taken its toll on my body. I’m being induced this week and looking forward to meeting them!