Tips for managing bedtime please!

[crazychemist]

Hi all,

I have twin boys who are about 3 months old. A routine is starting to emerge (hurrah!). But we are having issues with bedtime.... basically whichever one I am not putting to sleep first is screaming and miserable! I have tried starting earlier, but this doesn’t seem to make a difference :-S It is possible they are both a little overtired as naps are sometimes disturbed (we have a very loud 4yo DD, and their naps later in the day seem to be quite easily disturbed, in the morning they sleep very solidly).

My aim has been to keep them about 15 minutes apart all day long. That has worked up till now, but all this week bedtime has been full of screaming and I hate it. Basically I’m settling one twin to sleep for about 10 or 15 mins, but I can hear the other one screaming the place down with DH or DMum.

How do you manage bedtimes for 2? I don’t think I can do them both at the same time as they have a bedtime feed and at that time of day neither of them settles if the other one is punching them in the face.

Are you breast or bottle feeding?

When getting ready for bed, I would have one in a bouncy chair while I got the other one changed, etc and then swap over. Give them both a feed at the same time, wind, have a cuddle (bad reflux) and then lay them on my bed while they had a story (same one every night). After that I’d pop them in Moses baskets and then rock them to sleep but they often fell asleep mid story. If they wouldn’t settle then I’d sshh/pat them to sleep or give them a cuddle before ninja-ing them into bed.

Everyone and every baby is different though 😊

We combi feed, but normally they have bottles between 11am and 6pm and I breast feed over night (I HATE washing up, sterilising, warming etc). So the bedtime feed is a breastfeed. They don’t self-settle well yet - what I was doing (and was happy with) was lying them both in the middle of the bed, feeding one while the other watched something projected onto the ceiling, then pop dummy into the one that is fed and stroke his nose while I fed the other. The problem is that they both seem to get tired at the same moment, so it goes from neither being tired enough to settle to both of them screaming unless they are the one currently being settled! So one has to go out of the room while I settle the other, but they are literally screaming the house down about being taken away from me/the bedroom. Then they are so distressed they take aaaaaages to get settled when I get to them and are overtired so wake several times after I’ve gotten them down!

I was super lazy when it came to formula so I used the ready made stuff 🙈

If you can, I’d try feeding and settling them at the same time...I know it’s tricky to manoeuvre. Mine just liked being uptight on my shoulder so I could prop one on upright knees, pick up one laid next to me and then transfer the other one from knee to shoulder.

I am a huge advocate of bouncy chairs though, if you haven’t got them already. I used to overlap them so I could bounce two at once.

Did you know that Twinline offer free advice for bedtime, etc too...they might be more constructive than me?

Thanks @Twinging, that’s good advice. I guess I just really need to work on settling them at the same time. They’re bound to get used to it if it’s the same every night, I need to remind myself that a little bit of crying when I’m near them isn’t the end of the world.

The good thing about twins is that they learn how to share from the off...my twins were in SCBU for a few days and I remember asking the nurse what to do if one is crying while I’m getting the other dressed or whatever. And she told me to carry on, they’ll learn to wait and no harm will come if they cry for a little bit....I think it made them appreciate the comfort more, we never had to pace the floor with screaming babies, they stopped when we picked them up.

Have you got a feeding pillow?
They can be helpful for feeding both of them at once. I had a “v” shaped maternity pillow which did the job too.

You’re “in the trenches” at the moment, it does get easier 😊

You’re doing great!!