Twin Mums- do you work or are you a SAHM?

[Mumtoalittlegirl]

Hello everyone,

I’m almost 10 weeks pregnant and I know from an early scan (due to some intuition!) that there’s two babies. I also have a little girl who will be 3 years old when they’re born.

We’re really excited but very scared of going through the baby stage, as we struggled so much with DD (colic/ allergies).

I’m starting to think of long term plans, we’re due to exchange contracts soon on what will hopefully be our forever home (more expensive than where we live currently!).

One thing I’m struggling with is that it’s very likely I will be unable to go back to work- due to the childcare costs. And also the general logistics of getting 3 kids to school/ nursery and dealing with illness/ school holidays etc.

I’m excited of the thought of being a SAHM although I have some reservations as it’s not something I’ve done before except for my first mat leave, I currently work part time and it works well but I just can’t see it working with twins? Financially or otherwise. I do feel a bit sad though that the working part of my life may be over, at least for a good few years.

I’m just wondering what most people with twins do? Have you just accepted the high childcare costs or did you decide to take some time out?

Thanks in advance.

@Mumtoalittlegirl I’m in a very similar situation, 22 weeks pregnant with twins and I have a just turned 3 year old little girl. I currently work 3 days a week.

I haven’t made a decision yet- I really like my job and don’t want to give it up. I’m unsure about childcare costs, have emailed DD’s nursery to get an estimate for all three going with sibling discount. My own estimations gave me a few £££s left over after paying out childcare. But logistically, I don’t know whether it will work, if I’ll be too exhausted to get up in the morning and get three children ready and off to nursery.

OTOH I don’t really want to take a career break and risk not being able to re-enter at the same level I’m at now.

It’s a tricky one. Think I will see how I go on during maternity leave and make a decision then.

My friend has triplets, she put them in nursery.
Her husband is a taxi driver and her job is sales related, so not the highest earners. They don't have much left after all outgoings.
However, she really enjoys her job and does not want to give it up.
Whatever, you feel comfortable with.

I guess you could see it as a bigger cost but for a shorter amount of time. If I could do it part time I would and take the short term hit. I have three littles not twins and getting the mom out is a task but doable if you have a hands on dad you shared the load.

Congratulations! :)
I 'just' have twins, nearly 2.5 and I went back to work 3.5 days a week (worked over 3 days) which works really well for us (but this is only two days childminder as my parents do the other day)
Would a nanny work for you?

Lots of my twin mum friends haven't gone back to work due to childcare unfortunately

Also your 3 year old might be entitled to 30 free hours a week which would make a big difference :)

@TheMagicDeckchair you are basically me! Haha.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! How are you feeling? I’m terrified, i think once the pregnancy progresses it will sink in more. It’s such a hard choice isn’t it. I am going to do the same- take the maternity leave for a year, then review some of my options. We are moving soon anyway so my job isn’t guaranteed so it going to be a bit of luck to see what they can offer me, if anything. I guess it’s just not what I envisioned, I thought with one I would probably go back and life would continue as normal but it looks like we’ll be making some huge changes now.

@Didyousaynutella DH is definitely hands on, he does more housework than me for sure. He does tend to have earlier starts though, so I can imagine the manic morning rush falling to me. I find it quite hard getting my 2.5 year old to nursery some days!

@PrankedByLife wow triplets that’s amazing! I think it’s great that she’s gone back, especially if she loves her job.

@TwinMumSuperHero I hadn’t thought about a nanny actually but if I could find one part time that might be an option, we’d have to looks at costs and things but I suppose paying a nanny would be cheaper than nursery? (Which is probably about 100 a day not including the 3 year old after school stuff as she’ll be 4 by then). I think the 15 hours funding will kick in for us when she turns 3 and I go on mat leave which will certainly help!

I'm due twins shortly and also the main earner by a considerable way so have no choice but to go back to work full time when they are around 18 weeks

We have a childminder lined up and affordability wise it won't be that much more expensive than it was for our DD by using the tax free account and also by only having a term time contract

@Mumtoalittlegirl it is daunting but I think I’ve got my head around the idea now. I’ve known for a few months, it’s a shock when you first find out!

I looked at the costs of hiring a nanny, but once I’d taken into account the extra costs in hiring one with NICS and PAYE they’d be paid more than I earn! Not to mention the extra admin and hassle in hiring one. Maybe it is different if you’re in London for example, where nurseries might be very expensive. Plus there’s the tax free childcare you can claim for nursery and registered childcare.

I may consider childminders, as they seem to be the cheaper option. I’m a big fan of nursery though as you’re not at the mercy of one person being off sick etc. DD’s nursery offers a sibling discount too.

My twins are 8 weeks old and I’m planning to go back to work 4 days a week. I love my job and would hate to give it up. Childcare will be eye watering and lll be working for nothing for a good year or two but I see it as a long term investment.

I'm a SAHP but not to twins. I have a small age gap though.

I'd say at this point, plan to be a SAHP so get your savings in order, have some in your name only and make sure you're married (if not already) get used to living on one salary while on maternity leave.

Don't make the final choice though until near the end of your mat leave. You continue to earn holiday during your leave so don't resign until the very last moment

I’m a SAHM to 19 month old twins and I have a 3 year old SD.

When things settle down with Covid a bit (fingers crossed), I’m planning on finding something a couple of days a week and the twins will go to nursery on these days.
Unfortunately, what I earn probably won’t even cover the cost of nursery but we want them to go for social/educational reasons. When they turn three then we’ll get funding but have the holidays to consider then too, as well as the time my SD is here in the holidays. It’s really hard to weigh up what to do for the best!

I’ve always thought that twin parents should get some sort of help from the government as you can’t really predict it and it’s double the cost of everything...we don’t even qualify for child tax credit (didn’t realise we’d have to pay back what we did claim, now have a £1k bill 🤦🏻‍♀️)

P.S. congratulations on everyone’s pregnancies ☺️

I’ll be returning to work in September, when my twins will be 10 months old. I’m hunting for a childminder at the moment. Basically my wage will be totally wiped out by childcare, but I’m still naming that choice - it means my career will continue to progress, so I’m hoping to increase my wage at a later date so that in the scheme of things we’re better off once all the kids are at school. I’ll also be making pension contributions during that time. So for me, there isn’t an immediate financial benefit to working, but I think it’ll pay off in the long run.

Do you enjoy your job? I love mine, so that’s a big factor. I wouldn’t want to be away from it for 5 years. I am part time though, and have been since I had my first child. I’m very lucky that my work place is very flexible, so I went back 2 days for a year then 3, then 4.., after maternity leave this time I will either be 3 or 4 (currently negotiating to see if 3 is possible this time).

Yes I work. But I can afford a nanny which is obviously more cost efficient given the number of children (and I had 3 under 3) but still a fortune!

I went back to work after a years may leave for 3 days a week and have gone back to work fulltime in early 2020. We could afford the childcare and wanted them to have the social and educational element but I’m also not SAHM material. It worked for us and I think you just have to find what works for you too!

I’m a sahm due to childcare costs for my DTs. Managed to find and get a job that paid my childcare bill, then covid hit and I was let go!

I can’t wait to get back to work and for the kids to socialise with others. I’m tired of miniature versions of myself and DH hanging up on me

10 month old twins and due to return to work in a couple of months. Nannies around here are REALLY expensive! I am the higher earner and still wouldn’t be taking home much after paying the nanny...
I am planning to go back for 18 months and then leave, using 30 free hours for pre-school when they are 3, but otherwise I will have them during the week.

I’m a SAHM to 1 year old twins, by choice rather than due to nursery fees being prohibitive (although they are certainly high!) On the whole I love it. I am going to return to work part time when they get the free 30 hours. Not 100% sure yet as to whether I would like to return to my old sector or retrain. From my twin antenatal group we have 2 SAHMs, a SAHM dad with working mum, a part time working mum who uses a childminder and parents who work opposite shifts so share the childcare between them.

I have 3, twins first, then a singleton. I went back for 3 days a week. All I would say is think about the long term consequences of what you do. I have a friend who became a SAHM, now has similar aged children and really struggled to get back into the workplace because the industry had moved on (marketing) and she had few upto date skills. I think if you can keep your hand in, even if you don't come out with very much once you've paid nursery, it is (in my view) well worth it for long term career progression and salary increases.

Full disclosure - I had a long commute so it was my H's responsibility to get them all up, dressed and to nursery (I did the collection and bedtime routine) so I may be over-simplifying how it worked . We did have a strict routine though, everything was prepared / laid out the night before to make it run smoothly.

Any idea how much a nanny would be full time ? I'm in London if that helps? I'm due twins and my D.C. will be 3 when the babies arrive. Nursery is 1400 now but likely will be 1500 in a years time. 3k on nursery for 2 kids makes it almost not worth working . Not sure what the options would be

Hi @Iboogy we are S London. Our nanny charges £13ph net/ £17 gross. More expensive than 2 nursery places round here. It’s extortionate and ridiculous but we are going to try it out until xmas and see how I go back at work (going back in 6 weeks). Congratulations on your twins, whilst expensive, they are lots of fun.

@Redskyyy

Hi *@Iboogy* we are S London. Our nanny charges £13ph net/ £17 gross. More expensive than 2 nursery places round here. It’s extortionate and ridiculous but we are going to try it out until xmas and see how I go back at work (going back in 6 weeks). Congratulations on your twins, whilst expensive, they are lots of fun.

Wow! That's so expensive! I'll have to look at other options then. Thanks for the reply

@lboogy does the nursery offer sibling discount? Might be worth asking, they may offer it to keep a client.

[quote TheMagicDeckchair]@lboogy does the nursery offer sibling discount? Might be worth asking, they may offer it to keep a client.[/quote]
I think they do. I'll ask

I took 14 months off. I had 3 under 2 so childcare costs would have been ridiculous. I then went back 1 day a week, DH did childcare. Then 2, we involved the GPs. Then Covid happened and messed everything up, but the twins were 2.5 when they started nursery 2 days a week, and I went back 3 days (DH and GP covering the rest). Sooo expensive but worth it overall. They're about to start preschool now at 3 which is half the cost of nursery. And we will get funding after the summer.

Overall it's worked out ok, I love my job and also have worked from home for a year now which makes things so much easier.

Turns out the nursery offers 15% off for each child if all 3 of them go to nursery but it still works out to be just over 3k.

I worked out the cheapest way is to have them in nursery 3 days a week. I'll do compressed hours one day and hoping grandparents can do 1 day a week.

Sadly I am the main earner by quite a bit and can't afford to not work