Looking for a handhold I guess

[chocolatesweets]

Bleh.

I feel so crap.
I'm a sahm but I don't want to be. I want to work part time. I left work because we had twins and my husband was on a good wage. When twins are 3 we quality for help with childcare.

Husband has lost his job recently, which means I have to find work as soon as possible after being home for 2.5 years with the kids. I'm so anxious about the change.

Coronavirus and lockdown is making me anxious. Twins have recently started play school 3 mornings a week and I'm afraid at a flick of a switch it can all be taken from us.

Just went to my parents for a chat and df has said I need help. That I should be looking at the bright side of life. I can't help feeling anxious and depressed at the moment. They said I shouldn't be sad with two beautiful children. Which made me feel even more guilty.

I just need time. Kids have been sick too and I can't sleep due to anxiety regarding husband's job and me returning to work.

Don't know why I'm typing this.

I couldn’t read and run. Firstly you are allowed to feel sad/anxious/crap- we are humans and everyone does at sometime or another. Secondly The last 6 months especially have been very hard on many people. Being anxious about change is a completely normal reaction especially after being a SAHM for 2.5 with your Twins. Also try not to feel guilty as you have nothing to feel guilty about but it maybe an idea to speak to your GP about how you are feeling? Can you talk it out with your OH or a close friend? I find my parents don’t understand my anxiety level as it wasn’t a thing that was spoke about in there generation . I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help but I’m giving you a virtual handhold. My only advice would be (what I would do) is Take the time you need and take the steps to change slowly you have time to get used to each of them. Xx

Your husband might find a new job quicker than you could... Dont rush into it - unless the money is tight already and you cant delay.

Probably there is no harm in looking for a job and it is normal to be feel worried about it, it is difficult times ...

It is normal for people to point out the positivies in your life to cheer you up, and it usually helps... But dont feel guilty about it, you are not ungratefull, just a bit worried about the change...

Hope he finds a job quickly .... a big big hug to you :)

Doesn’t sound like your parents were in a helpful mood! I’d agree that you probably need some help though - can your parents or in laws take the twins to give you a little bit of a break (if you want that)?

Don’t feel guilty, it’s been a hard year on everyone with small children. Of course you feel anxious when there are big changes and unknowns, that’s totally natural.

Your DH may well be able to find another job unless there are particular issues in his industry at the moment (I know some jobs are extremely hard to come by at the moment), so try not to feel that you have to take the first possible option. If part time work is what you want, it’s worth waiting if you possibly can. What sort of thing are you looking for?

I was quite nervous returning to work after just 11 months of maternity leave, so 2.5 years must be much harder! Although I felt really weird the first day or two back, it’s surprising how quickly you just get back into the swing of things, you sort of automatically compartmentalise and everything feels totally normal in an incredibly short time - being at work is a bit like riding a bike!

If anxiety is preventing you sleeping, that does sound like something to speak to your GP about, they might be able to help.