Anyone else struggling with twins and a toddler?

[Twinsand1toddler]

I've got 10 week old twins and a just turned 2 year old and I'm really struggling with not knowing anyone in a similar situation to me. I'm very lucky to have mainly my husbands family near by who help out with my toddler weekly but I still struggle the days I have all 3 on my own and it's really getting me down how much tetrus and hard work every day it feels like a never ending battle. I feel really guilty I can't give any of my kids full attention there's often 1 crying whilst I see to another so I never feel like I can enjoy 1 to 1 time. I have to tandem feed twins in bouncers to have any time for my toddler between feeds which is hard work trying to wind both with floppy heads 🙈 feel guilty but it's not enjoyable because I'm trying to do 2 at once to avoid feeding separately. I'm getting really anxious thinking about logistics of getting out and what I'd do with twin buggy if my toddler had a tantrum and decided she didn't want to walk which is likely. I had some good mum friends with my little girls maternity leave and I know they're well meaning but they keep suggesting days out which logistically would be impossible with twins and a toddler. I'm feeling really overwhelmed with it all and never felt so lonely as it feels like no one understands. Am I going insane or does anyone else feel like this or have any answers?

Oh totally, my twins have only just started going to nursery now at 2.5. It's only affordable now as our eldest has started school.

From 3 months I managed to have them in a semi routine (although tricky and not achieved every day as the girls had very different needs/sleep cycles). We had about 3-4 months of everyone napping before my eldest dropped his nap completely.

It’s really hard and they have to wait sometimes. Always make sure you’ve had a wee, have a drink and snacks for you and toddler before feeding twins. It does get easier - mine are 9 and 12 now and they make me coffee and empty the dishwasher xx

We were in this position a few years ago - our twins were born a few days after our eldest turned 3. Eldest is autistic, just to add a twist to things.

Not many words of wisdom, just encouragement.

It’s hard. You’re only human.

But also: it’s normal. It does kids no harm to be “batch bred”, and plenty of people grew up in busy households. Kids don’t need perfect 1:1 parenting or complete attention. Providing a loving, safe nest for your kids is enough.

So be kind to yourself and remember you’re doing a great job in a tough situation.

Ours are now 3 (twins) and 6 (eldest). It’s so, so much easier now. Still insanely busy, but a lot better. Push on through, be kind, and be realistic. Your kids will be fine, and so will you.

Thanks @ellesbellesxxx that's kind of you, I don't have Facebook but I'm sure whenever normality returns groups will come back.

Gosh @phillipa12 a 13 month age gap sounds brutal 😳 could only imagine that 🙈. Ye visitors were a heaven sent I always have someone a twin to feed or hold soon as they came in. Think we can meet outdoors only in my area only at the moment, which so far hasn't been great with it constantly raining 🙈, sure when we're aloud visitors again it'll help. Picked a good year to have twins 🤣🙈.

@isurvived3under2 that definitely sounds like you got a good routine going. Since we've been at home more now twins are 4 months old I've been really trying to get them napping at the same time in their cots. 1 twin goes down no problem, the other wants to he held constantly or only sleeps in the baby swing 🙈 so ive not managed it so far. Any tips on how to do it? Think having the time with my 2 year old without there always being a twin will help my little girl. Think that's part of her frustration I'm always getting pulled away mainly by the fussier twin who always wants to he held 🙈.

x

I'm afraid one of my girls did this a lot. She grew out of it but was super refluxy at first and only wanted to sleep upright. I had her in the sling a lot while I played with my eldest. If I had a jumper/hoodie on I'd pop her under and my 2 year old often didn't even notice 😁

@isurvived3under2 - really hoping they outgrow the reflux soon 🤞. Think we're looking at potty Training my 2 year old soon 🙈, hard to think of doing anything on too of the daily routine 🤣 but got to do it at some point might as well be lockdown x

I potty trained my eldest when the girls were 11 months and had just started walking; not sure what I was thinking!! We survived

Gosh don't know how you did that 🙈 remember my little girl when she first started walking, couldn't imagine potty training when 2 start.

Think that's definitely the word at the moment surviving 🤣 think that's the achievement for each day at the moment. Especially with another national lockdown looking likely, I'll be surprised if I'm sane adding potty training to it 🙈, suppose If we're stuck at home anyway 🤷‍♀️ x

Hope your doing ok. It is really hard at first. But it does get easier.. it's still hard but just not as hard!.. now my twins are 2 and their big bro is 5 it's all a distant memory. I struggled when they where newbies, their brother had just turned 3 and was so jealous of 2 new babies that had taken all his attention away. Just take it one day at a time and don't put pressure yourself. Having 2 is so much harder than having 1 but it's so rewarding - it's great now - they'll just play together whilst I get on with my housework.

It used to bug me when my friends with their single babies would suggest doing this and that with no consideration on how I will manage with twins and a 3 year old. Maybe it's cos we twin mums make it look easy.. although we're falling apart at the seams!

Thanks @Whatevs11 good to know it gets easier definitely trying to focus on that at the moment. Think it's particularly tough now we can't have people over to help other than his parents. Getting out of the house with all 3 to try meet friends has been driving me nuts lol especially when my 2 year has tantrums when we're trying to leave the house 🙈. Definately taking it a day at a time at the moment x