First time mum - twins, scared

[Smithy3388]

Hi
I’m expecting twins and this will be me and my husbands first time. My husband is excited at the thought of having twins where as all I can think is of all the things I wanted to do with our first baby and how I probably won’t be able to do them.
I had imagined going to baby classes like massage etc, I wanted to fully breastfeed but I know this can be harder with twins. I also wanted to be out and about lots and be able to carry my baby in a sling. I just imagined having one baby I could fully concentrate on and love and am worried I will be so busy changing nappies and feeding that I won’t have time to enjoy them and fall in love with them. From reading online everywhere seems to say how hard it is and some people say they didn’t bond straight away as there was two. This will likely be my first and only pregnancy as we agreed two was right for us, so I’m just worried about all the things I will miss out on and I know it sounds so selfish. Anyone feel similar? Did you feel differently later?

I totally understand how you feel, although the realisation didn't hit me until I'd had them. Yes things will be different and there will be some times where you will experience regret, however when mine were about 9 months old it all clicked into place when I had three set of arms wrap around me for big cuddles (triplets). Breastfeeding is possible as is wearing them in a twin sling, and groups are definitely possible. It'll be really hard, it will be different, but it's soooo worth it. Congratulations

It’s a lot to get your head around and I totally get what you mean about not being able to do everything you planned. However, once you work out logistics you can still do so much.. we did baby massage (the midwife running the sessions was delighted to have a real baby to massage!) mother and baby yoga, swimming we started later and had to do at weekends but actually that was lovely as it’s a family routine!
We had individual slings but there are twin slings out there too :)
Feeding... everyone has a different journey. I wanted to ebf but my Twin 1 lost way too much weight and was getting quite poorly with jaundice so we went for combo feeding... that worked well for us (plus others could help and husband could do a night shift for me!) after 12 weeks it suited all of us to go to formula and they thrived so although it wasn’t the journey that I envisaged, it suited us.
My twins are almost three and are (mostly!) the best of friends... lockdown is a lot easier because they play together a lot (random games with lots of giggling that make no sense to us!) the positives of twins definitely outweighed the tricky things 😍
Bonding wise, my husband took 2 weeks paternity then 2 weeks of half days using holidays so I could have lots of individual cuddles..it was also lovely that he bonded so well because of all the time he had with them too.
I do sometimes wonder what it would be like with just one and financially it would help (2x nursery bill 😱) but I can’t imagine either of mine without the other.
Good luck! Xx

@parrotfashionista triplets! How lucky are you and what a rockstar xx

Hi

I'm a mum of one already and i am pregnant with non ID twins. I have all the same feelings as you (except your a first time mum). Reading on here has helped me get a few things straight in my head, knowing everything i'm feeling is 'normal' and other people feel the same things.. don't forget, your hormones are double so everything is feeling so overwhelming right now. I messaged a complete stranger on Instagram the other day asking if she ever felt the same as me when she was pregnant and everything i said she agreed with.

Yes your anxious, scared and a lot of other things but once they are here, i'm told it just 'clicks' once you have your routine etc. It is going to be hard, having one newborn baby is hard enough but just try and enjoy it as much as you can.

This is going to be my last pregnancy too as we only ever planned for 2 children, now we're having twins we'll have 3!

How far gone are you? Do you know the genders yet? I am 16+1 weeks and i feel/hope that once i know the genders, it will be easier for me to come to terms with things and bond with them while i'm still pregnant.

Hope your okay! x

Hi,

Having twins is awesome! I won’t lie, the early days were hard, but they gave me a new respect for myself. However, they weren’t as hard as everyone made out they were going to be. You do get into a routine with things which makes it easier. I ended up ff after the first 6 weeks (had combi fed before, milk didn’t come in properly) but it’s perfectly doable to bf two.

I’d recommend seeing if there’s a twins group in your area - mine has been brilliant. I’ve found it lovely being amongst others who just get it and we all watch out for each other’s babies/kids too.

My DTs are now 2, and seeing them play with each other and laughing hysterically and talking in their own language to each other is beautiful. They miss each other terribly if one isn’t there, and get up to all sorts of mischief together.

Hiya firstly congrats! Are they fraternal or identical? I am a first time mum of identical twin girls that are 12 weeks old.

Those early days after finding out are such a mixture of excitement and worry. It is a alot to get your head around.
I will be honest and say I found the first 4 weeks the hardest as it takes time to get the swing of everything so didn't venture out too much but in that time I was recovering from a csection and had a multitude to family and friends visiting anyway, so didnt need or want to go far... i just did short trips to town and to parks etc.
In terms of classes I have done baby massage and the teacher massaged one of the twins whilst I did the other and then I swapped babies when we started on the other leg/arm so got time with them both.

My husband and I have a carrier each but there are twin carriers you can buy. I have even taken one in a sling and pushed the other in the pram (just put the pram as a single rather than double).

I like to do things as one on one time with each twin aswell as things together. For example I bath the twins on different nights and on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon my husband and I take a twin each. At the momentwe obviously have to stay in so whilst my husband may take one twin for a walk I stay in and play with the other. Before lockdown my husband my stay in with one twin and I would go out to a garden centre/town/coffee shop. This is something we plan on doing throughout their lives and will have days out as families but also with each individual twin as i think its good for both parents and the babies to get some one on one time.
We are going to take them swimming once lockdown is over and will just go as a family.

Highly recommend following some twin mums on insta as you will get lots of ideas and see that having twins will not have any impact of the experiences you want to have.

We have a Expecting Twins 2020 thread in the Birth Clubs section if you want to join and have created a 2020 twins facebook page as sometimes easier to chat on there than on mumsnet.

congratulations!

we have twin girls that are now 7 months old. I felt the same, in fact I wasn't even maternal but fell pregnant and it turned out to be twins! everything you can do with one baby, you can do with 2! we had 2 slings, one each, we went for loads of walks as the prams are built for twins and therefore just as easy as others.

our girls now play with each other and interact which gives us a little bit less pressure so actually, having twins can have loads of benefits, and getting to know them? I think we know them more than if we had one child because we constantly have one or the other in our arms!

being a twin parent is amazing, you will get showered with gifts and attention and it really is the most rewarding thing you can imagine