Big disagreements with school about seperating twins in class - any advice welcome

[Leilel]

Hi, my identical twins are moving up to year 2 in infants next September. (they have a strong bond with one another and do enjoy one anothers company, but they do both have other friends in class as well).

Their current teacher would like them to be seperated into 2 diferent classes (they are at the same level academically, so that isnt the issue). She says they muck about together.

Unfortunately they have had a bit of taunting and hassle from some of the other kids and together they present a united front which makes it easier for them to cope with school, and makes it harder for bullies to hassle them (its like taking on 2 people, when a bully picks on either of them).

When i voiced my concerns today, Teacher replied: "well that doesnt happen here, the other kids are very supportive"....but the bullying does happen, Ive seen it when i'v come to collect them at the end of the day.

I just dont know what to do, they want me to say one way or another tomorrow(wether i want them in seperate classes or not tomorrow.

gosh leilel you sound your at my dc's school they always split twins up for 'character building' even from reception they also seem to love splitting bf's up too just for the hell of it - and they also refuse to acknowledge any bullying goes on in the school 'that sort of thing would never happen in my school, your wrong' is the response our school gave

stand your ground and make them do what you want and feel comfortable with, don't let them decide for you as you are the one who will have to deal with it at home if things aren't right

WTF???? Leilel, don't take it lying down. A child psychologist? What for, because they're twins and one has a girl as a best friend?

I had a boy as a best friend for years at school, and I haven't grown up affected!

They sound awful and blinkered in every way at your school.

I hope you can get this sorted out to a point which you and your children are happy with.

Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

xx

Your poor boys. Friendships should be encouraged not frowned upon - even opposite sex ones. They're 6 fgs!!! I'm appalled at the treatment that both you and the boys have received. I would demand a meeting with the boys teacher and Head if I were you and express you distress and concern and the way the children (and you) have been dealt with. It's outrageous. Particularly the child psychologist. Is this legal even???? Good luck and my hugs for your boys.

Having just read mainly your posts -to op- I would suggest you go above the teacher and see the head. Express your concerns and ask for difinitive reasons and evidence of your childs 'abnormal/possessive' behaviour.

Whenever I monitored the behaviour of a child that I thought was a little erratic/strange/different I would use a post-it note to record the date and the behaviour seen. This then gave me a better picture overall and it meant I could use it in meetings to empahsis my point.

Ask the teacher for evidence, discuss with the head.

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I agree icod but this seems a little odd don't you think?

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my twins are being seperated this year, going into year three. Was talked about at length with class teacher as to groups of friends etc who may make the transition a bit easier for them. I feel our school handled the situation very well, were sensitive to the situation but also very honest in their opinions.

I had many a discussion with the school about separating my boys at the end of reception. It had to be right for them, us and the school and only when I could rationalise all three areas did we make a decision.

I do think though that I never felt that as their mum I KNEW what the right decision was. I don;t necessarily think there is a right or wrong decision. you just have to make a decision based on what you know at the time.

I knew DT1 wanted to be in his own class. DT2 didn;t. Having made the decision to separate them DT2 played up for the first term, but now has his own friends and is settling much better. The final decision maker was the school felt that it was the better move and they were right (looking back on it). I was tending towards keeping them together because DT2 was a bit more reluctant and I didn;t want to traumatise him. Turns out he needed it more than DT1.

They have both flourished this year in Yr2 and are quite happy with their respective friends.

This won;t help you make a decision - just don;t feel bad. It's one of those decisions that you will never know whether its right or not.

My dts were split up in school at my request because at home they never got enough time apart and fought constantly...they still fight alot but at least they know every school day they will get a break from each other. They did get the choice though - the school would have been happy for them to be in the same class if i had wanted. I do feel this was a good decision because this way they don't feel like they are competing either, and they don't get called by the wrong names all the time, which they found irritating inthe infants school. Not that this bears any relevance to the original post but wanted to say that splitting up can be great