Difficult

[minglemoo]

My darling twins are turning one this month and I've found the last few weeks stressful.

They've become mobile and we're learning to cope but it's difficult.

I've also been working 2 days a week since they were 8 months. The job is in a nursery class and it's quite intense - special needs , with no real provision and little pay. I'm leaving in a few weeks but I'm tired from that too.

I'm feeling a little depressed as I have not been able to recharge - my in laws are very good and provide 2 days childcare for the days I work (otherwise I wouldn't be able to work). My parents on the other hand never offer to take them out anywhere ,even though they know I need their support. My mum seems quite depressed with her life at the moment and is trying to figure things out.

I feel like a bad mum because sometimes I can't be bothered joking or fooling around with them like I usually do and then I worry I'm not talking to them and their language development will be affected 🙈 .

Just wanted to moan really ..

minglemoo my twins are 14 months and I get it! It’s really tough. You definitely get less of a break when you have two at once and they can be overwhelming for other people to look after. Do you have a partner? If so would they take out the babies for a couple of hours at the weekend so you can sleep/do exercise/go to the cinema? I know it’s hard to do a regular thing but even a one off makes me feel more ‘me.’

You wouldn’t be worrying about their development if you weren’t a good mum so don’t beat yourself up. I know what you mean though, when you are exhausted it’s hard to play with them as much. I usually read more to them when I feel like that, or even watch CBeebies together and do a running commentary for them.

I hope things become less overwhelming soon. I’m not surprised you are knackered if you are juggling twins and work in a nursery!

Yes my husband is wonderful. That is an option. I'll be leaving in a bit - the nursery so things will be better. You have to be in tip top condition with twins. There's no room
For depression , you have to look
After yourself. Have you found this?

It is tough but remember it's always just a phase........
Or so I tell myself!!!

Mine are 1 later this month and generally pretty chilled but BoyTwin has just started doing this horrendous thing where he refuses to sleep other than with a parent so our nights are like DH cook dinner whilst I lie with him, I go down and eat whilst DH lie with him, and so on. So fucking stressful as cannot get anything in the evening and I work FT so evenings are all I have!

But it will pass......

Controlled crying?

If you think about it - you, their Mum, and presumably 25 years or so younger than your Mum and Dad find it difficult to cope with 2 x 1 yr olds, then you Mum and Dad are going to be far more daunted by it.

Why not ask them to come and play with them for an hour or two at your house whilst you are there to get used to playing with them, without the pressure of them being fully responsible for them. You get to get some jobs done for 90mins and that will free you up to play and laugh with them at another point in the day.

I can't begin to imagine how parents of multiples stay sane whilst they are babies and toddlers - one at a time did my head in

Yes constantly but i dont struggle if I get a break. It's like a marathon not a sprint. They'd be able to do a couple of miles.

Ha I know , thank you we are supermums 😉

Hi, don't want to do cc as I think it's a genuine developmental need - DD1 who is 4 now used to fuss a fair amount at bedtime and we did leave her, but DS is really distressed.

Plus cc with 1 child is fine, cc with 3 means the other two wake up