going out of my mind - going to bed?

[oooggs]

How do I put dt's to bed. They have been bathed, feed and are in their cot. DT2 is screaming, dt1 would be but can't be bothered. What do I do? Made lots of sleep mistakes with ds1 3.5. Please help me not to do it again.

They are 10 weeks, ds1 is in bed asleep and I am here on my own

Ok well I would concentrate on DT2 first if she is screaming.

how about swaddling DT1 - always found it very calming for DS

I take it you've done the whole hungry, nappy, hot/cold thing?

What about swaddling?

right just been in and put dt2 dummy in, stroked his head, said night night and left.

Now dt1 has started
now dt2 has joined in

too hot and they are big, just lying in vests & nappies in cot

yes both clean, fed and not unnaturally hot - just don't know how to put them to bed.

Would be the same if a single child, always rocked, cuddled, stroked ds1 to sleep. Even now at 3.5

Ok, try it again.
Into dt2, night night, stroke head, reassure, then dt1.

been in calmed her down so she is sucking dummy and content, picked him up and he eventually stopped screaming put down stroked, reassured, night night then left, both screaming again

I decided to feed them both again, when finished they are both in the cot and are 'talking' to each other. Hopefully they will drop off soon. They I can go to bed.

Awww well done oooogs
It must be hard when your on your own.

Hopefully if you keep at it, they'll start to get into a routine.

Cute them talking to each other

both snoring now, maybe this is what I need to do, feed in nursery and throw in cot after feed.

Probably what other parents do anyway

Oooogs, I just saw this. I was mostly on my own when my DTs were little (and like you had a 3yr old). Its bloody hard and some nights I just felt like I walked from room to room, cot to cot with my DD sometimes waking amongst it all......What you did sounds good to me.

I think the best thing to keep at is getting them to fall asleep by themselves. Definitely feed more if they need it and getting them used to being popped into their cot, awake, to drift off is good. If you start like that and keep going it will be one of the best investments you can make. One of my DTs sleeps very well and one doesn't.

I used to feed both and put them down in their cots then I'd shut the doors and read a bedtime story to my DD. I'd go back to whoever was crying (or still crying ) after that! There always seemed to be a lot of crying in my house ........

hi frumpygrumpy - this evening I left dt's in front room with dummies in. Put ds1 to bed read story and waited until he was asleep (see made huge mistakes with that one!)
Then back to dts took them into their bedroom popped in grobags and fed them both together. Then popped them into the cot popped dummy in ds2, ds1 refused said night night and walked out.
I have been back in once to pop dummy back in and at the mo all is quiet (but I am too scared to check)
Will leave it a bit I think

well sounds like you have a plan! I always used to check my DD after I'd put her down and then again before I went to bed but for the DTs.....I was so scared I'd wake them I never went back in.

It may not be the time but your ds1 is just used to you staying til he's sleeping. It can be undone again. Its so easy to keep going down the easiest route though especially when you probably feel he takes a backseat at other times in the day. I'm a fan of bribery, i.e. "if you go to sleep by yourself you can watch telly in my bed with me tomorrow night, stay up later than the DTs and eat chocolate for breakfast"......or other such bribes more suited to your own circumstances

The trick is to let them feel they have power over the situation without giving them any power. He decides to do it to get the bribe but you have already decided on the end result and the reward. As I said, its maybe just not the time, you have enough going on.

Just checked.... dt2 asleep & dt1 fidgeting, but not crying she is relativley quiet.

Sounds good we do need ds1 to sleep on his own, he has just hit three and a half. But at the moment we are trying to get him dry during the day again, he has reverted to wetting himself since twins arrived and we are using bribery there.

Aw, enough said, you have plenty going on. One step at a time. I feel for you with your DS1, as I said, my DD was 3 when our twins came and by that age we had such an established routine of things - I'd take her swimming every week etc - that just went out the window and she was catapulted into sitting in front of the telly waiting for me..... Hopefully the wetting will subside soon. Peaceful night to you x.

Frumpygrumpy - this evening fed in nursery at 7pm, dt1 finished first and was put in cot. She just lay there looking around but quiet. Finished off dt2 (with his bottle!!) and put him in as well, said night night walked out and didn't hear a peep.

Popped in and they are both asleep, please may this continue

Sounds excellent! Fingers crossed!