How can I best support twin mum friend with PND?

[ThePartyArtist]

I'm visiting a friend in a few weeks to try to help with her newborn twins.

I'm staying in a hotel and have a full day with her, and a morning, before I need to head off. So it's a flying visit and I really want to be as useful as possible in that time. Her partner will be at work the whole time.

The twins will be about 6 weeks old. She has had a horrendous pregnancy (bedbound for a lot of it) and is quite down and isolated (I think PND) and still not well. I think she is getting some professional help but don't know any details.

It is a bit of a blur remembering the newborn days with my own baby - and he is a singleton so there may be things I haven't thought of. I was thinking of cooking a meal, offering to take the babies while she naps or has a bath, and generally being on hand for feeds and companionship. Is there anything in particular that you think would be good for me to do? Or particular approaches as she is suffering with PND?

Yes to cooking a meal- bring a meal ready made if you can so you have more time to do other stuff when you are there.
Bring lots of easy to eat, healthy snacks that she can eat in seconds...she won't have much time at all to eat.
If this works for her, let her go to bed for an hour or 2.
Tell her she is amazing. That she's doing an incredible job.
That u can't imagine how tough it is. The early weeks are Very, very,, very hard.

Yes to all that. Tell her she’s doing so well. (if you have two close in age, don’t say you know how hard twins is! :-) ) ... maybe look up homestart in her area, multiple mums are on their priority list to help. Maybe look up a twins club in her area, she may not have yet, as they are a godsend to have people who have been through what you're going through.
I would have loved someone to take mine off for a walk in those early days though I know not everyone would. Let her have a nap and if she’s FF them andhappy to let you, do a feed too.
She may want to get out of the house all together so maybe a trip out to somewhere even just a coffee shop or a walk in the park. My big fear in the early days was feeding one and the other screaming and not knowing what to do. An extra pair of hands is so useful. (My top tip is church run cafes as they are full of old ladies eager for a cuddle!)

My sister use to help me once a week, she would arrive at 7am and stay all day. She was a god send, she just took over and looked after the twins, and would feed and change them. I also had a 14 month old when I had the twins, so I use to have a sleep when he was napping. She would also do my ironing and run the hoover around, wash bottles and unload the dishwasher.

Plus if I wanted to go out, she would either watch the kids, if I just wanted to pop to tesco’s For a couple of bits or we’d all go for a walk and she would push the buggy.

Also like everyone else said tell her how brilliant she is and what a fantastic job she is doing.

I think it depends on how much your friend is willing to let you do. The main thing for me was letting me sleep and feeding the twins.

Hope that helps and that your friend lets you help xx