Planning childcare when twins arrive

[feelinginthedark]

Just found out I'm 9 weeks pg with twins - we already have a 5 and an almost 3 year old. At the moment I work full time and we have a nanny, but she's extremely expensive and needs more hours than we really need her for, so we were hoping me going on maternity leave would be a natural ending for her employment.

However, while I'd be confident enough I'd manage three at home, it's not really realistic to manage 4 incl newborn twins solo (DH works v long hours and no family to help out except very ad hoc). So, trying to figure out, do we keep the nanny for the first 2-3 months of my mat leave, then essentially let her go as it's definitely not affordable to keep her throughout my maternity leave which I'm hoping will be long and I'm also hoping to go back to work less than fulltime. Or should we transition before the twins arrive to someone new to do fewer hours and plan to keep them for the duration of my mat leave? I'm due in late September so technically the twins could arrive when my older two are off school.

I know we're fortunate to be in a position to have help but really want to make sure I make the right decision for our family as this twin news has come as a massive shock - any thoughts would be amazingly helpful

Hi! We have gone round and round with what to do since the twins arrived 16 months ago, but I just thought it might be useful to tell you our experience. We have a boy who was nearly 2 when the twins arrived, but found the daytime reasonably ok as the twins napped a lot. The ‘bad’ period of the day was about 5pm onwards where they’d get really grizzly and I felt I needed another pair of hands. My husband was that person, but if yours works long hours I’d say it’s the evenings you’d need the help. If yours are like mine it was nearly impossible to juggle two criers with anyone else. We relied a lot on grandparents for days out for the toddler, so that helped him blow off steam. He started nursery 3 days a week too.

Thanks a million for the reply! Yes I think it'll be the mornings - getting the older two up and out to school - and the evenings as you say that will be the tricky parts of the day. Did you find the twins got into a routine as quickly as your older son? Or was it more chaotic?!

Well my son was a terrible sleeper! My girls are identical and they were really in sync from quite early on so we were lucky with sleep- although they didn’t sleep through for a few months, they tended to have sleep cycles together! A friend of mine with girl and boy twins didn’t find exactly the same but did say they grew into a pattern. And as time goes on they amuse each other bouncing up and down giggling in the early mornings when you havnt got the will to get up yet!

Echo morning and evening!! Our twins (non ID boys) are 6 weeks and we have a 3yo DD. She’s in nursery two days, I physically couldn’t do the nursery drop off in the morning as they wake for first feed any time between 6-8, so DH has to do that. I can manage pick up just about though it’s a PITA juggling two usually sleeping babies in and out of the building. Then when we get home it’s a race to get DD a snack and reasonably happy before the witching hour kicks in (I’m breastfeedig so we’re still in cluster feeding zone). DH gets home by 6.30nthree times a week for bedtime, the other days are a bit —very— chaotic.

Hi, if you have space in your home it's worth thinking about an pair. We have a 4 year old plus 2 year old triplets and find having the help at key times - start and end of day in particular - is great for us. The au pair could help take older ones to school & activities as well as being general help with kids washing etc. Good luck! X

Did think of an au pair but we're short on bedrooms (planned extension now on hold due to twin news...). However there are lots of mothers helpers, college students around as we live next to a huge university so I'll hopefully be able to find someone to help out in the afternoons. I think I've decided to try to keep our nanny for the first couple of months anyway

My older kids were a similar age when twins arrived. I found I really needed help with school run (both ends of the day) plus their activities and at bedtime (husband not at home at this time).

Feeding is unpredictable and takes ages at the beginning and so I just couldn’t be anywhere on time for a while! Also was ridiculously tired (sorry!) so just having another adult around was great. I had a student who helped me out and that worked well.