Maternity Nurse - did you use one?

[bellabelly]

We're expecting twins in August (it's my first pregnancy) and have been debating whether to hire a maternity nurse for a week or two to help out with the babies. I just wondered if any of you have any positive or negative experience of using a maternity nurse and whether you could offer any advice? We live in a small flat and I'm worried that it'll feel a bit invasive having another adult there but I also realise that some experienced help might be very useful...

hiya,
will your partner be there?
i definately needed help as i had a section and couldnt get around as much as normal.
i had that idea too and i thought the same as you......someone you dont know in your home....i didnt like it to be honest!
even though these are your first babies you WILL be fine, you will cope ...dont worry!

it is scary bringing home your first baby (my twins were my 3rd & 4th) but just take it easy and you will get the hang of really quickly!

you are not silly so just follow your instincts and all will be fine im sure.

dolly x

I swithered about using one as I already had my dd1 when the twins came along and my DP works away most of the week. In the end I muddled through. Have you thought about a doula? I also nearly did that. Marslady is a doula and the support she offers is just fantastic (are you anywhere near her? London?). They can support you before and during birth or just do post natal support. I'm not saying maternity nurses wouldn't do a great job but that doulas might offer a wider support (BF help, cooking, cleaning as well as baby help).

The early weeks can be tough and its always lovely to have extra hands esp if you are recovering from the birth.

By the way, in case you don't know her......Mars has 5 children (twins are numbers 4 and 5). She is currently on holiday in either St Lucia or Paris WITHOUT her children, its her special and annual me week and she is so well balanced that I think it should be on prescription

Thanks for replies- v helpful. Dolly, my husband will be at home for 2 or 3 weeks after the birth so I won't be coping alone. I did think about a doula but wasn't totally sure what they do - think it might be nice to have someone who'd do a wider range of stuff - cleaning, cooking etc, instead of someone who's only there for the babies. I can't help thinking I'd get quite jealous of someone else looking after MY babies while I had to do the ironing etc...

Frumpy, I love the idea of a "me week". Will track down marslady when she's back and find out more - we're in london so it'd be v useful to chat to her.

Hi Bellabelly,

Mars is in St lucia, she should be bak on here sunday or monday. Lucky thing, I wish i had a 'me' week! But it is her for birthday, so she's excused!!!!

A meternity nurse is really there for the baby only, and a doula is there for you and to empower you, aswell as help you with things like cooking and babycare etc.

Spk to mars, im sure she'll be able to help you more, especially with the twins advice!

Cx

We looked into hiring a maternity nurse but it's a rather expensive option. I used a part time nanny instead who came in 3 days a week to do a feed for me. It gave me a few hours sleep so I could recharge and stay sane. I sometimes just lay in bed reading Grazia (all my addled brain could manage!) but I just needed some time out from the babies. She was a local girl and a complete star - we've ended up good friends!

I am a first time mum too who had never held or changed a baby so twins seemed a rather daunting prospect. I found you can get all the advice in the world but through trial and error you do find your own way. I'm now cautious of giving my mates advice as everyone does it differently - you develop systems that work for you.

Best of luck with your babies!

We had two helpers - 8 to 8 and 8 to 8. Not maternity nurses tho but cheaper people - friends of friends etc. Maternity nurses scared me - and expensive - but always wonder if we'd have got into a "routine" by now if we'd had one... (twins 4 mos old). But YOU WILL NEED HELP. Although I hated people telling me that. But if you find good poeple and you can afford them you will be better off than lonely mothers of singletons. If you can't find people you will go double mad!

I'd have loved more help if I could have afforded it! My PILs stayed for 10 days after the DTs were born (which was about 9 days too long ) but they were pretty useless really. I'd had a c section but was pretty mobile and what I wanted was someone to do the housework and cooking so I could look after my babies - but also get some rest when they did etc, rather than look after two guests who wouldn't even make themselves a cup of tea . Once they'd gone, my mum would come and stay for 2 nights and look after DD1 when she wasn't at nursery and help with the babies so I could get a bit more rest. OH was also a massive help (he did every night feed with me) and worked flexibly for a few months, so was able to get in late and leave early (it helps that he's his own boss and he wasn't very busy at the time ).

But when the babies turned 6 months and still weren't sleeping, we got a night-nanny which was the best thing we ever did - just for a week and it saved our sanity. She got them into a routine, got them off their night-feeds in 3 nights and although still not sleeping through, just requiring dummies in the night. She also works as a maternity nurse and I'd recommend her really highly if you do decide to get one. From what I can recall she charges £750 a week (but don't quote me on that) and that's for 24 hours a day, 6 days a week for as long as you need her. She's based in Finsbury Park, but will travel all over London. She wouldn't interfere with you bonding with the babies and would help you establish breastfeeding if you want to go down that route - but she will sleep with them at night and just bring them to you for feeding, so you get your rest. Let me know if you'd like her details. We haven't seen her for ages but she still texts me every so often to ask after the girls.

Oh and congratulations .

I'm back...

You can email me on lovelymarslady at aol dot com.

Thank you for that ringing endorsement FG.

Pleasure my love, I haven't ruled out booking you as my doula. I don't think you have an upper age limit on the children do you?

Hi Marslady - I am going to email you about all this - thanks so much for getting back to me!

I just saw the doc last Friday - NOT my consultant (whom I still haven't met yet) but a junior doc who says that teh hosp doesn't like twins to go past 38 weeks. So i guess that brings things forward a bit from my EDD of 22 August.

Anyway, will stop burbling and focus on writing a clear, non-rambling email about it all this evening.

We always have a maternity nurse,( we are on pregnancy no5...but had twins last time so this babe will be no6 !),and I would say they are worth their weight in gold,( though will probably cost about the same... )..They are so helpfull and you wil get a real rest as the look after mum as well as babies...Try ' Maternally Yours ' agency and be sure and ask for one with twin experience...oh and hurry up because the good ones all get snapped up pronto ! Enjoy your twins...

Hi Bella,

My name is Holly and I am currently training to be a maternity nurse and noticed that you may be thinking of a maternity nurse.

Basically as a trainee I have qualifications and 5+ yrs childcare experience with NB's through to school age plus references.
I spent about 2yrs in the infant room of a childcare centre in australia with 8 infants to 2 staff.
As well as a lot of information on different approaches to caring for your newborns.

Basically I don't have specific 'London standard' maternity nanny history which is what I am trying to achieve right now!!

My take on maternity nanny would be assisting new mum's with feeding (guiding correct breast feeding, and helping get bottles ready and feeding babies upon mothers request), changing nappies, implementing routine for the twins helping mum's on outings to sainsbury's etc, plus assisting round the house with washing, cooking, tidying etc. Just generally making the first few weeks as smooth as possible and giving parents & babies time to bond whilst be as well rested as possible!!

As I am breaking into the industry I am offering my services at the rate of about 350 per week (5/24) or £250 10hrs/day for 5 day + travel costs from SE London to your home.

If you would be interested in a maternity nurse at a reduced price, to compensate from my 'training' status then please contact me [email protected]

thanks

Holly

A belated thank you to all for your thoughts about this. Think the decision we've finally reached is to get some free help from my mum and see how it goes!

Oh No Twinkle 3869, may i say NOT all Materntiy nurses/nannies are like her.

Would love to know where she came from, i hear such comments from families as:

*mn requires 3-4 hrs a day baby free just what a recovering mummy wants to hear...not, i catch up on sleep while babies sleep.

*mn will only do baby tasks, i will shop, make snacks and meals and many other tasks, i view my job as a help to the new parents in all aspects of this new life.

*the best was a mn who told a prospective mum of twins that [a] as long as she was happy all was well and [b] she would only take the babies out alone

i always remember the babies i'm caring for belong to other people and as such i discuss all ideas, routines, changes with them BEFORE i do anything.

I help my families with all things, i'm happy to go to the shops, do the bins etc in addition to baby duties.

Current triplets are still snoozing before their next feed, i have put away their laundry granny did {the fri-sun accumulation}over the weekend - when i was off duty, bottles are clean and ready for the night feed.

I always say to my parents be they having 1,2 or 3 babies that once all my tasks are completed and babies settled and parents happy then i will be online, on my own internet connection/laptop.

The parents and babies are my first concern.

Bellabelly, all the best.

Just to say if you are struggling do call an agency, my current triplets were an emergency placement after they had been home 2 weeks and both parents and granny's were exhausted.