How to leave the house?!

[twincessesmummy]

My girls will be 6 weeks old this week and I want to be able to go places with them... I'm just scared!
Where was your first outing with your babies and have you got any tips on managing them when out and about?
When they are a bit older I'd love to go to groups but I'm terrified Incase they cry and I can't calm them both on my own and people will judge me.

Sorry, my 2 DC are 20 months apart, so no really the same as yours.

But when my second DC was tiny, I used to take them both out to local groups. Like you, I was terrified of not being able to manage by myself, but every single person I met at the groups was bloody lovely! Offering a hand, a chat or just some words of encouragement (imagine being up to your elbows in a messy nappy change while the older one runs riot in the sandpit). Maybe there's groups specifically for twins? People there might be even more understanding.

So go you! You'll walk home proud of yourself and rightly so

Go places close by that you know you can get home quickly. I still don’t really like going far from home with my nearly 15 month old twins.
I also tended to go to other peoples houses or to places where I knew other new mums. It’s easier dealing with 3 babies between 2! Or if there is a group someone always has a sleeping baby!
I would often go for walks with other new mums while babies napped. That was the easiest then get them home in time to feed etc! But I loved my routine from about 10 weeks so I knew when I could go out and when they would sleep, feed etc. For me that made it easier. Some people would hate that.

Ime most people at baby groups are happy to hold a baby crying or otherwise while you sort one out!! They aren't there to judge, only drink coffee and cuddle babies!! Brave it, confide in the organiser it's your first visit and say you find it daunting!! It's not a crime to be nervous at new things!!

Not a twin Mum but I would recommend a under 1 group - more likely to be sleeping babies so potential free hands and everyone will expect a bit of crying. See if you have a local children’s centre that has anything on.

It gets easier I promise.
Always have a change bag packed ready.
I started just going for small walks between feeds then built up to going for coffee in between feeds, all locally. Then for the day just to see family at their home.
I had people over here a lot to make things easier!

No one will judge! My twins are two now, but we started going to sensory classes when they were about six weeks. I think you just need to be super organised. I always made sure my bag was packed with ready made cartons of milk, plenty of muslins, nappies, change of clothes, etc. I would ideally time things to feed them just before we left so they would have a decent chunk of time before their next feed, but that depends on whether you’re bottle or breast feeding and if they’ve got into a routine or not. If necessary, I sometimes even packed my bottle warmer just in case.

I found it easier to go to organised classes instead of playgroups because often the teacher would take one baby, and everyone else had babies of the same age so they were usually so wrapped up in their own little ones that they barely noticed mine! However, the benefit of a group is that there will likely be other mums whose own children are happy to play independently, and they’ll lend you a hand.

You will definitely have tricky times, but it’s really worth it to get out of the house and try something new. I remember rocking up to one class thirty minutes late after an appalling journey and having to sit breastfeeding one and bottle feeding the other before I could join in. I felt so embarrassed at the time, but was reassured later that everyone thought I was a boss!

I started going to groups about 4 months. It was difficult and it was occasionally disastrous but mostly it was fine and really worth getting out.

Usually at groups another Mum whose baby isn’t currently crying will help you out if both of yours are wailing or the group leader will take one.

Remember sometimes Singleton Mums can’t get their babies to stop crying either! Baby groups are mostly extremely sympathetic and given how hard most of them will be finding having one baby they’ll be in awe that you are managing two.

I found going out for walks to the shops and library with the pram easiest to start with.

Then I moved onto visiting friends houses and the classes.

They were 6 months old before I actually managed a trip to the local shopping mall on my own though - I was soooo proud of myself.

Ah, it's hard isn't it?

I found having twins (my first and only children) difficult and not to scare you off, I didn't manage to go out by myself with them until they were a bit older - probably closer to 3 months old.

I was really lucky and had my mum to help me for the first few months, so we would go out together with the babies.

By myself I probably only managed walks in the park in the first year! I did join our local twins club which was my life saver - lots of hands-on help with the babies, cake and support from fellow parents-of-multiples.

I felt really lonely and couldn't cope well at other toddler groups, people were friendly but often didn't see that I needed an extra pair of hands, and I was too shy to ask for help (after all, everyone is there with their own kids as well).

It's ok to be scared, you're doing a difficult job looking after two babies. If you can, do you have anyone around to help you? I had a Homestart person for a while, would you get in touch and see if there's anyone in your area?

I really limited myself to certain places and activities for the first year, just so that I could cope with it all. But eventually it will get easier and even fun... it just takes a while few months?

Hello I am currently snuggling with my 5 week old twin girls and have worried about this myself. ( I also have a 2 year old and am worried about keeping control of him whilst out.)

But I dragged us all to the library rhyme time, with the help of my mil;) and as AKingdomForACarrotstick said people were amazingly helpful (making space for me to sit and even holding a baby). I'm not used to the fuss twins seem to generate. Even in the carpark people came over to look!

I'm not yet confident enough to do it alone but I suppose it's small steps for now.
Good luck with getting your babies out soon. Staying in gave me a bit of cabin fever!

Oh yes, do go to your local twins club if you have one. I got so much really useful advice at mine that even though it was a struggle to get to it was really worth it.

Just go out, and don't worry about it! I know it's hard, so ask for help from anyone you can...

Funny annecdote relating to getting out with young twins - I was helping out my brother and sister-in-law with their twins and older daughter when the twins were about 6 weeks. Had left the house with my 3 (7, 5 and 3yo) and her 3 (3yo and 6 week twins) for a trip to the park. Brother and SIL were to meet me there within 15 mins... cue loads of people staring at me and I couldn't work out why. Offers of help to push 3 year olds on the swings from a mum I'd never met before... then she started saying how amazing it was that I was out and about. The penny finally dropped that she though I had 6 kids including 2 sets of twins!!

Anyway, the point is that even total strangers will be helpful and friendly.

At my local church playgroups there are always mums, nans and nannies willing to help out with other people's children. And no-one at a play group is put off by crying babies.

This is either going to sound really glib or really harsh, but I promise it isn't meant as either - you need to stop overthinking it and just do it.

As a PP said above you do need to be super organised, but you soon get into a rhythm and you'll be able to pack the "essentials" bag in a couple of minutes. Here's a tip actually - repack the bag each time you come home so that it's ready for the next time you go out - restock nappies and wipes etc, put clean clothes in if you've had to change them etc. Leave a note on top of anything not in there like bottles, or muslins if you're waiting for one to dry from the washer, then you won't forget things when you're trying to get out the door.

Honestly though - just do it. It DOES get easier and people are always willing desperate to help with twins.

When my DTs were born my eldest had just started school (the day before they were born) and my middle one was 2 and not in any nursery or anything so came everywhere with us. I had a family member come and stay until they were out of hospital (3 weeks old) and then for another week until I could safely drive again and then we were on our own. I had no choice but to get out - DS had to go to school and several after school activities, DD had to get to the few activities/groups she did and so I had no choice about it all.

If you're not feeling confident it really is one of those situations where you have to fake it til you make it. I promise it does get easier, but I also promise that the longer you leave it and the bigger it becomes in your mind, the harder it will be.

Gosh thanks for all the replies, sorry I've only just had chance to read them!
Appreciate all the advice from you all.
I've contacted Home-Start yesterday so hopefully they will be back in touch soon.
I was going to Just brave going to the supermarket today to get us out but unfortunately it started snowing so that will have to wait until another day. I think your right I just need to do it to get me used to going out with them. I've had a little look into local groups and there is a local on on a Monday which is for multiples so I will try that when I am feeling a bit braver after a few trips out with them.
Thanks again

Twin club Twin club Twin club!!!!

There's a special bond between us Twin parents. We are all happy to look after and keep an eye on all other children.

My twin boy fell off a piece of equipment at soft play the other day- I was dealing with my twin girl. Another mum picked him up and cuddled him until she found me. Singleton mums just don't do this!

Blankets for the floor, muslins and plenty of nappies. Try and enjoy this time whilst they're not moving!!!!! 😂

I remember it took my three hours to get out the house once.

DT1 filled her nappy just as I put them both in the pram
DT2 filled his nappy as soon as his sister was changed.
DT1 vomited her feed all over the pram just as DT2 was ready.
DT2 then vomited his feed all over the pram.
Then the postman called with a delivery.
Then both babies started crying as it was by now time for their next feed.
And then filled their nappies again.

It’s funny now but it wasn’t at the time. It felt like just an achievement getting out the door.

I also once turned up late to a mother and baby group and due to painting or something the class was in an upstairs room that week. I struggled up the stairs with a baby on each hip and my huge change bag to discover they’d shut the door. I obviously had no hands free to open it so ended up knocking with my head.

Again funny in retrospect.

When they were toddlers they had simultaneous melt down in the supermarket and I had to abandon the trolley and walk through the entire store with a screaming, flip flopping child under each arm.

Not sure I find that one funny yet. Give me another ten years!

I have a million stories like that and all (Twin) mums are the same.

The point to this is that yes, sometimes it will go very, very wrong. But that’s ok. You’ll deal with it and carry on.

My twins are now 10 years old and they’re awesome. Well behaved, polite, charming and funny.

People say “you’re so lucky, you’re children are so easy”. Which is true now but it’s been a long journey!

For years I was the Mum at the baby group chasing after two children who wouldn’t sit still, who was always late, who was always covered in sick and didn’t have time to do her hair. No one remembers that now. They only remember their own journey and their own bad days.

Be brave, go out. If it goes wrong, try again another day. Getting out every day did wonders for my mental health.

I started getting out with mine alone from about 5 weeks. I used to get everything ready the night before, dress then, feed them and off we would go.

I found the reality much easier than the thought of it!

Different story now at 2 years, impossible to take them anywhere alone, I'm hoping it'll get easier again soon.

Look at what your local church offers - mine does a baby group two mornings a week in the parish centre. There are loads of mums, grans, helpers there who'd be happy to help a mum with twins.

Penny whistle your stories have cheered me up so much. They sound hilarious but I'd have a meltdown I think 😂!

I know I'm overthinking it all but as a nervous person and first time Mum it's easy done. I will look back and laugh that going out used to worry me I'm sure

I ageee that it's best just to do it. The thinking about it is often worse than the reality. I tell myself what is the worst that could happen? I've found most people really helpful and now I'm not shy in asking for help. People who don't have twins don't think about how tricky it is for us but when I ask one to hold a baby or something like that they always say yes!

Twincesses you’ll have your own stories soon enough.

Wait until they’re toddlers, twin toddlers can get up to much, much worse things than singletons because they cooperate to implement their evil schemes.

You aren’t overthinking it, it is hard.

And yes, I did occasionally go home and cry or cringe with embarrassment. But then you pick yourself up and do it all again the next day.

Parenting twins is the absolute epitome of “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

Love the pics!
Haha I already think oh my word how will I cope when they are on the move, some days I already feel like I can't manage them how they are now! Today has been a tough day. I've got through just hoping they will sleep tonight! X

My first outing was along the road and back! No visit or shop at the end, just a very brief walk along the road. I was so proud of myself!

I can drive after Friday so I think even if it's Just visiting family it will get me used to just getting them ready and in the car on my own.
The home start emailed me back today they have no availability for new families :(

My advice is to use reins outside the house as soon as they are walking. If you use them right from the start they don’t feel restricted like they do if you introduce them later.

I know that not everyone likes them but using reins you can hold both children with one hand and still
pay in a shop.

It also helps strapping them into the car without the other one running off.