Struggling!

[bellabingbong]

I've got 4 month old twins and having been told countless times how much easier it gets at 3 Months (it did!) it's now got a hell of a lot harder- the boys never seem happy, I feel like I've lost my confidence with them and they've gone from sleeping 6-8hr blocks to up every 3-4 hours, and I'm struggling to get back to sleep, so only getting 4-6hrs sleep a night which is broken.

We've tried dream feeding and it makes no difference - they whinge all day long and I'm starting to feel very over whelmed about it all. I'm too anxious to go to play groups in case I can't comfort them both or feed both and we don't have any twin clubs close by.

Can anyone help or offer any advice? Really having a bad day today as was awake from 2am- 6 am then fell asleep for 30 mins before DS woke up .

Please help

My twins are 16 months old now. I understand!

First thing: you’re going through the 4 month sleep regression. It effects night sleeps and naps. They will consequently be grumpy. Not in your control at all. You just have to wait it out and know you’ll get some better sleep in a couple of weeks. Google it!

Don’t even worry about playgroups! They are to young to care about anything except you! It really won’t benefit them for a long time. How about a long walk in the pram? Give you some quiet hopefully.

Your partner should be doing 50% of night wakings. Way too much for one person to handle twins. Will they take a bottle at night?

Too*. Also I forgot:

My twins are nearly two and i can barely remember much about when they were that age... I found the playgroup thing a bit crap, but classes (baby massage) were better because the teacher/instructor was free to take a baby! Focus on trying to get sleep whenever you can. Ten mins on the couch can get you through... also, coffee... a lot of coffee... recognise all the brilliant stuff you are doing, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by twins. Keep it simple, you’re feeding them and changing them! I also kept mine in babygros nearly ALL the time. Split the night feeds. It’s mental. The whole thing is mental. You will get through it...Well done you xxxx

Mine are 2.3 now bella, sending you big hugs! It does get better, but as PP says, it helps if someone else can give them a bottle or let you have a lie in occasionally (or regularly!). I didn't have much help nearby and my OH turned out to be useless when they were that age, I was a wreck most of the time.

A few things which might help: your local children's centre has at least two helpers at each group, if you can get to one of those then there should be an extra pair of hands for you, really made the difference for me. I also went to a local (paid) group where the leader had twin grandchildren and always helped me!

Have you tried contacting your local college and been referred to Home Start, or referred yourself? The college may have childcare students who will come round once a week or so for the experience, they could at least look after one DC whilst you have the other. Home Start is the same sort of thing, I never heard from them as apparently they are in high demand in my area, but worth giving them a try.

Finally you can always have a chat with your health visitor, mine are lovely and generally have suggestions to make. Maybe a bit of Calpol just before bedtime in case they are starting to teethe? Give them a call and they should be happy to talk to you.

Good luck

Thanks everyone. - I get help with all the night feeds and that's making such a different and think I just need to get some friends round here rather than the stress of getting out the house. But I def need to do something!!! There's only so much daytime tv I can bare right now!

The boys just want to be able to sit and play or get on the move - so praying they start to sit up soon as they're so frustrated. Most people say it starts to get easier at 6 Months - do you all agree?

Starting work again when they're 7/8 Months just for a day a week so think that time away will be great although I know I'll miss them - the bloody Mum guilt!!

I hated that time of 4/ 5 months, all that blooming whingeing. Aargh! Whine, whine, whine all day long. Wine, wine for you all evening? I think it did get easier again at 6 months and they were definitely happier once sitting and crawling.