Primary school for twins

[ChrissyTwins]

When your twins went to primary school did you have them.seperated into different classes? If so what are the benefits of doing so?

Our twins were in the same class for Reception and KS1 (years 1 and 2). It was just much easier that way - it meant we only had to negotiate one class assembly, one teacher at parents' evening etc. However, by the end of KS1 it was clear they needed space from each other, so that was when we split them up. It was right for them, and their needs definitely outweighed our convenience at that point!

My girls are in reception and in different classes, and it has been a great decision.

My girls are very close but ultra competitive with each other. Every thing is a competition, even friendship groups. One twin (who people guess is the more confident one, but actually isn't) is very domineering and bossy toward her sister and the more reserved twin needed her own space.

The bossier twin has struggled more with being seperated but the other twin has thrived and is so confident now. For their relationship, separating them has been great, they are excited to see each other after school and will chat in bed at night about their days in great detail. They hardly ever argue anymore. It was the best decision we could have made for our girls. They aren't compared at all, they are not known as "the twins", very few people even know that they're twins.

The difficult part is parents evenings, Christmas plays, craft sessions, classroom visits are all on different days/evenings which is double the work for me. However, their education is about them, not me.

My friend has her twins in different classes. Different bedrooms. Different friends. The boys imo can't bloody stand each other as she has gone ott to ensure they aren't 'twinned'. I see them weekly and she referees every single time!!

If you are going State the Loval Authority might have a twin policy about separating twins (mine does). My sister who doesn’t live in the uk kept her twins together in the first year (she said this was partly for them to adjust to school together but partly for her own ease with play dates, parties, parents’ evenings and teachers’ presents) but then separated them from the second year onwards. Both worked well and they are now really happy and quite individual personalities within their own rights at their school.

Mine started this September and are in different classes at my request. They are so different and like completely different things and have different strengths. DT1 is more articulate than DT2, and I felt that he’d tell people what DT2 likes or wants without that having any basis in fact. I also feel that school is somewhere that you get to escape your family role/identity, and that wouldn’t work if your brother is always there.

Logistically it is something of a challenge, but that’s my problem. The boys are thriving and have settled well. Apparently they behave as if they don’t even know each other when at school. Their relationship at home is better for having some space from each other.

Mine are in the same class in y2 as it’s a single form entry school. If they were in a bigger school with the option to separate I would - we don’t have any problems as such but I would like them to be less dependent on each other.

Mine were if different classes and then different schools

It does them good to maker hire own way without relying on each other and knowing X is in Y group

I don't think there is a 'one size fits all' approach and I'd be avoiding any school that tells me how my children should be educated!! A 'twin policy' at primary level is ludicrous.

I'm a twin and have twins. My twins are b/g and quite independent so kept them in the same class at primary even though it was a double form intake (the parents of the other twins that year (2 girls) kept them together too). It was right for my twins - helped them settle, developed a little competition which personally I think is a good thing and worked logistically. Both flourished.

My younger daughter has 4 sets of twins in her year. 2 sets have been separated and 2 have been kept together. It really does depend how you feel about it. Personally I'd keep them together unless there's a reason to separate (I.e. dominant twin etc).

My b/g twins are at a very small village school with two years per class so automatically we’re in the same class. They settled well, having each other there helped but wasn’t essential. It’s not been plain sailing, they’re very competitive with each other and DD is far the better behaved and that made DSs behaviour worse in the first couple of years. He’s largely settled down now. We had one option to split them in Y1 but that meant one being put up a class and we didn’t want to do that, it didn’t feel right.

They do squabble a lot, they’re never apart really. They have their own friends but it’s still fairly limited given the size of the year. I’d say now it’s not been an issue. They’ve both chosen to apply for different secondary schools this year, not in desparation to be apart. I’m happy they’re confident enough to do that.

I think it’s easier for b/g twins not to be treated as one set but I think schools put more effort into not doing that now than they used to.

We have to make this same decision this year as well. Have always said I'd separate them due to one being more dominant but am now thinking not just yet. They've rarely been apart and I think we'll let them make some friends and settle first. (If we get our preferred school!)

If you send them to reception together - which one will you oust into another class of kids they don't know? Groups they aren't part of?

Isn't that worse? One gets to keep friends the other doesn't?

Greentulips I don't get what you mean. Who is ousting who? If two children start a new school together in reception how will there be pre formed friendship groups?

Reception together
Year 1 apart

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I think Green might mean if they are split later so the twins are together for reception and year 1 and then split after that when they have already made friends in their class when they were together but move to another class.

Anyway my experience was together and then split for Juniors (separate school)

There are three sets of twins in my DTs year (year 1). I seperated mine (b/b twins) from day one in Reception and they had also been previously seperated at pre-school. Another set (b/g) have been kept together since Reception and the final set (g/g) started out together in Reception but have been seperated for Year One. I’m also friends with both sets of parents and we’ve all been happy with our decisions. I guess it depends on how your DTs are, whether they’d cope better seperated or not.

We split our ID twin girls in P1 (reception) and while I don't regret it, it did show us that they were better off together. We put them back together for P2 and it was the best thing for them. They are now P3 and still better off together. Teachers agree.

I will say that our girls have had a tumultuous few years with overseas moves and serious illness within the family, so their situation is perhaps not the norm, but regardless of that, they do need each other. I do wonder if we hadn't moved back to the UK, and had stayed in their small private school in the US, whether they'd have been better off separated. (Which was our plan for kindergarten had we stayed) I think they'd probably have been happier separated there than they were here, but that was a very different reality than here.

P1 didn't wreck them in any way - they coped and like I said, we don't regret splitting them for that year, but we did learn a lot from it - as did they. We requested putting them back together again (after they had been asking all year) and the school agreed. When it was time to move up to P3 their teacher came to me and asked my preference and told me hers was to keep them together.

My DH has the potential to move to London for work, and being in a school with a policy of splitting twins is one of the big reasons we are very hesitant about a possible move. While P1 didn't damage them I don't think, I do think splitting them now - especially coupled with a move - would potentially do a grata deal of damage and I'm not prepared to take that risk.

I know my DTs though and I know what's right for them. You know your DTs best.

I don't have twins but the school policy at my DC primary is to split them, so twin parents who choose the school choose to split them.

They don't move classes around at all, so groups stay same from Reception to Y6 and head believes twins will be better off split all way rather than together whole way.

DDs friends who are twins were put in the same class in reception. Their mum regretted it and asked for them to be moved apart for year 1. She didn't tell them it was her idea though!

Ours were in separate classes from reception. Only ended up in the same class at age 14 but even then most of their classes were separate and they quite enjoyed being a double act in the classes they had together. It was really good for them not to be together. They developed their own friendships and personalitiues. they're very different and needed the space.

My b/g twins have been in seperate classes since Y1. I can’t imagine them being in the same class!

Mine are together - only 1 class so wasn't an issue. In future they may be separated but I won't be pushing for either choice based purely on them being twins. The composite classes further up are based on ability and I will be looking for them to be assessed on that alone.

As a parent of twins, and an Early Years practitioner, I would always recommend separation. If they're already pretty independent then being in separate classes fosters their individuality and if they're particularly close or dependent then the gentle pace and emotionally supportive ethos of Reception is the ideal place to build their confidence and independence.

Nutty - I think it's wrong to suggest there is a "preferred" option that suits all twins. No-one would dream of saying "all children should go to nursery" or "all children should go to a childminder" - it's entirely dependant on the children and the family. There's no such thing as I said up thread of a one size fits all approach.

Schools are not allowed to have a twin separation policy, it is completely up to the parents to decide. Tamba have campaigned for this and have more information about it.

nutty my mother (has taught right through from Pre-school to end of primary) would disagree. Having taught for 40 years and seen many, many sets of twins through every stage of pre/primary school she would say that it very much depends on the children involved. Some a definitely better split, some definitely better together, some happy either way.

For my DTs - P1 didn't damage them in any way and they did absolutely fine, however they didn't enjoy it. P2 & P3 they have thrived. They certainly aren't in each other's pockets (have never been sat at the same table let alone next to each other) and play separately plenty, but like being together. I would say that it has increased their confidence and independence, not diminished it.

Every child is different and every set of twins is different. ID twins are also a completely different scenario to Non-ID. My DTs have 4 sets of twins in their year group - 1 b/g set who were together in P1 and thereafter separated - the right decision for them. 1 ID girl set who have been separated from day 1 and quite happy with it. 1 ID boy set who have been together from day 1 and quite happy with it, and then my girls who were separated and then put back together.

All those decisions have been made with the teachers and parents in consultation with each other and in full agreement with each other. 4 different situations and 4 different solutions.

I am very thankful that our school takes such a wise, individual approach and doesn't try to shoehorn everyone into a box