Preg with twin boys, just read book about twins so now fearful about the negatives. Need positive stories please!!

[ShouldKnowByFriday]

Have 3 and 4 year old boy and girl and was hoping for another girl and boy as the twins are non identical so there was a chance they could be. Preferred girl and boy as I thought that would be more balanced all round. Tests revealed two boys so got my head around that. Read book as I thought it would be helpful and I found it quite negative when it talks about safety, own identity issues and also that after identical twins, twin boys are most likely to have behavoural difficulties. Instead of feeling warm and loving when I think about them (am 19wks) or when I feel them moving, I am really filled with dread at what I am in for. I just want the preg to be over with so I can meet them, fall in love with them and have my fears allayed. I am very happy to be preg (it took a long time) but am worried. The book is called 'Twins & Multiple Births' by Dr Carol Cooper and assisted by TAMBA. I don't know if anyone has read this and felt the same as me and if they could recommend something better to read?

I know that twins are tiring, I am all geared up for that but would really like to hear POSITIVE stories of having non identical twin boys please.

Please..............!!!!!!!!!! Thank you.

No join before! We've got a mum who's not due her twins for a couple of months yet! In fact loads joined when pregnant!

Come on over! The gang are looking forward to meeting you!

Will definately join in your thread Mars. After 3 years of mayhem just managing to get on the pc so only just discovered mn.

Looking forward to it MilaMae

oooh!

Ready

Friend has non identical twin boys aged 11.5.
She had a tough time when they were babies - just because one new baby is demanding, let alone 2!
They've always been very different - one is very outgoing and popular at school - invited to everyone's parties, picked as form captain etc.
The other is a bit of a pita, frankly! A wind-up merchant - sometimes in a nasty, snide way. He's also had slight problems - had a statement of special educational needs - very bright but under achieving at school. Also from a physical point of view he was believed to have Dyspraxia at one time, but is now thought to be normal.
But I really don't think the differences between her 2 are any more extreme than you would get with any pair of siblings.

I read that book too, awful - I much preferred Double Trouble. I have 18 month old non identical twin girls, and a 4 year old boy, who I find much harder work than the girls (I'm hoping its just a stage he's going through!). Think I might have a look at the multiples thread too... does anyone else have twins with older siblings?

I have grown up friend who is an identical twin. She has 2 older sisters. Their mum says that when they were young it was like having a herd of cart horse colts in the house!
They're all successful, ambitious types in their own way, but the twins seem far less 'intellectual' to put it politely!

mammaofthree there are several people on the other thread with twins and older siblings, though not me come and say hello

Funny as I really got on with Carol Cooper's book - have read it again and again and found it really practical. There were other books, mainly for singletons that terrified me. I guess I wondered how I would manage to follow an incredibly detailed routine with one baby, let alone two.

I guess I was so blown away with the idea of having twins that the sex of them didn't matter as much as the idea that there were two of them. I've never really got my head around it, even now they are 9 months.

I just read Jackie Clune's book 'Extreme Motherhood' about her triplets. It's a hilarious read and makes you feel relieved to only have two a once! She puts such a funny spin on things, even when times get rough - had me in stitches.

I guess practical books have to give you all the facts, even if only a small percentage of twins are affected. You always hear about the worst case scenarios, especially where babies and births are concerned but for the majority of people it's rarely that bad. Hang in there!

Hi there, I have non id twin boys who are 9 weeks today. They are an absolute delight, even though they cry, have stinky nappies and wake me up at all hours, just like any other baby would. It is wonderful to see both of them smiling at you at once, to cuddle both of them at once, and although I know it is not everyones choice, I enjoy BF mine together as it makes me feel really close to them. I read that book and know just what you mean about it causing you to panic. these two were my first children so I was totally unprepared (I'm the first of my friends and family to have children so I'd had no exposure to babies at all). I've read loads of books but they were all for singletons so didn't help that much. One twin book I did find useful was 'the twins handbook from pre-birth to schooldays - a parents guide by Elizabeth Friedrich and Cherry Rowland. I has useful info from how many babygros you will need to how to help your older children adapt to the twins arrival. I found it useful and it has a much more positive slant than 'twins and mulitple births'. I'm sure you could get it on amazon or ask your local bookshop to order it in for you. Also, don't fear that they are going to be weeny at bith - my two were 5lb 13 0z, and 6lb 2 oz, born at 36 weeks 4 days. It has taken them a week or 2 longer to reach stages such as social smiling (DT2 is still mastering this) but they are getting there, and they behave no differently from any of the other babies I've come acrosss since their arrival. If anything, they are better behaved than some of the one in my NCT group! Hope this helps, and PLEASE don't worry. Although the pregnancy can be a daunting (and very uncomfortable!)time, when they arrive, you will be overwhelmed with just how cool they are. Enjoy them!

i have non id twin nephews who are 3. although they seem to have hit the terrible twos late and together they are not really badly behaved, are very loving, have their own ids and are very bright. they were walking by 10 and 11months, and you could have a conversation nwith them easily at 2 their speech was that good.

My SIL goes to a local twins club which she heard about from her midwife or HV and they have weekly meetups at play areas etc and all support and advise each other on how deal with any situation.

The boys have just started nursery and have settled in brilliantly and are enjoying it.

I would advise trying to find out if there are any twins clubs in your area and tag along to make friends and get advise before your babies are born. hth

I have twins of 7 months and must admit that I sometimes worry that they're not developing as fast as a single baby would. It doesn't help that people say things like "aren't they sitting up yet ? " and then I get all worried that they should be sitting up by now.
I find that friends with single babies don't understand the different challenges presented with 2 ( or more ) babies at the same time.
At least the rewards are twice as good though ( she says as she hears dt1 screaming in the background )

Marslady

My DTS were born 20/2/04.

My life, as I knew it before children, has long gone, boo-hoo. But they are worth it!

Actually - I've just had another thought... I know someone who had IVF TRIPLETS when she was 40 - 2 boys and a girl. They were born at 32 weeks and caught up developmentally very quickly. They drive her nuts, though!

I am auntie to non id two boys 17 months, and they are gorgeous, I could eat them up. A definate positive of having twins is that my sister is super skinny from running around after them, hope my baby weight falls off as quick as hers did! good luck! x

Ive got 7 yr old non ID boys.

They are everything described here and the two most gorgeous boyish boys you could ever hope to meet.

And when they are grown up they are both going to be over 6 foot and give mum massive hugs

Good luck!

Kizziex

I'm a mum of id boys aged 6. They are like two puppies, full of love and bounce. They're doing really well at school and love to wear the same clothes some days and different things other days. They are an absolute joy and every single day is a busy and exciting experience.

Don't feel threatened by what you've read, you're in for the most wonderful experience. I can't imagine why anyone would say non id boys would present behaviour issues as every child is different

Many congratulations to you, I would love to have more twins!

I am an id twin myself, its an absolute blessing.

Good luck, keep posting! X

my friend is pregnant with triplets...that must make you feel better!!!!

hi i have non id twin boys 21mths now, life is completely mad (that may have something to do with their 4.5 yr old brothe and sister-also twins). but i love every moment of it. i have to confess there are low points but you just get on with life and the benefits and pleasure they bring out weighs any negatives.If you are worried try and join the local twins club, they were a lifesaver for me the first time around and great to talk to other twins mums for reassurance and support. best of luck.

And might I ask why none of you post on the d'ya ever wonder thread? [sob] Are we that awful?

Its my leg hair Mars, I know it is

hi shouldknowbyfriday....
my non id twin boys are nearly 20 months now and they are fine.
i too read that book from tamba and i think it gives you a lot of neg things to think about. are you more nervous because it took you a long time to fall pg?
im only asking because before my twin pg i had 2 miscarriages....my first 2 pgs went fine and i had no worries whatsoever, but after the 2 m/c's my twin pg was a very worrying time for me. i carried them to 37 weeks and as they were both transverse i had to have a section! (too posh to push!!)
they were 6lb 2oz and 5lb 11oz.
going back to what you were talking about.......with mine what usually happens is that one of them will do something that the other one cant do and vice~versa and i think maybe it will always be like that. in the beginning i would be worried about every little thing but now im much more relaxed about it all....you will be too
hope all goes well for you
dolly x

I have non-identical twin boys (sorry for the longhand, not up on the lingo yet!) and I spend the pregnancy in a deep depression. For the first week after they were born, I was in hospital and kept crying thinking 'my life is over'. Then when I got home, I couldn't believe how amazing it was. I can't lie - the first year is incredibly tough and you don't have time to think or anything, but once they hit about six months and start to interact with each other - WOW! There is nothing like it in the whole world. They are now three and a half and they wear me out, but I would NEVER change it for the whole world. They are so cute and so different and when I'm out with them, people just stop and look and say how amazing they are. Having twins is like getting on a roller coaster - the day they're born, the big bar locks into place and you think 'crap, what have I done?', but then it's too late and the journey starts. Yes, there are low and difficult times but the highs are so worth it. It's the most exhilarating thing in the world. I'll shut up now - I could go on forever!

Hi estar, we multiple mums have a thread we use daily, do join us. Its here .

I'll stick the kettle on

Mars, I got another one, rustle up some LDC and shove your salsa gear on. I've popped my tights over my leg hair.