Difficulties feeding one twin

[quesadillas6]

What do you when one twin breastfeeds perfectly and the other refuses to latch on completely? They're just over a week old. The problematic feeder refuses the breast, fusses over bottles but eventually takes them (formula and expressed) and then throws the whole lot up. He's the smaller of the two as well, so even more important to get something down him. I'm loathed to give up breastfeeding when one does it so well but feeding them both differently and looking after a toddler won't work for me. Pumping takes too long to get out what he'd need for each day.

Any ideas?

He sounds refluxy which might make it painful for him to be laid down in the feeding position. Is he happier being held upright or in a bouncy chair? I'd check with the GP.

Nipple shields really helped my smaller twin latch.

Have you seen your midwife or health visitor? It sounds like you're doing really well!

There are FB groups about breastfeeding twins, if you have a search. Might have more traffic.

I'm now right on the verge of giving up. I don't want to in many ways as I wanted my babies to at least have some of what my eldest had - he breastfed for six months. But my mental health is important, and I believe that once I'd got over the disappointment of stopping earlier than I'd have liked, that I'd be happier.

I confess, I gave up with my smaller twin. She just never understood latching after being used to the speed of th bottle and both she and I were getting so stressed by trying I decided to just give her EBM. I completely understand why that option isn't for you as I'm now at 5 months and am about to give up expressing because I can't do that plus wean plus bf her brother. You have to do what is right for you and your family and whatever it takes to survive. I have had to deal with questions about why I'm not bf her and people assume th bottle is formula and I get remarks about that but ultimately I know my decision was right for all of us and it has kept me sane over the last five months.
Good luck xx

don't give up.

She is very little and her latching might improve later on. My second twin was impossible to latch and didn't breastfeed properly for six weeks; suddenly when he was quite ill he got the hang of it - possibly wasn't struggling so much and just relaxed and took what was on offer vecause he was thirsty

I mixed fed for about four months due to these difficulties (although had planned to exclusively bf) and then when they were weaned into solids (admittedly in those days earlier than now) I was basically breastfeeding both of them with not bottles of milk at all, and also they had dairy in form of food, rice pudding etc, cauliflower cheese, drinks of juice and water. Went on for 2 years, happily breastfeeding.

I breastfed the first baby whenever I could (complicated by her needing top ups for low birth weight) and just formula fed second baby, with a bit of expressing thrown in, and sometimes expressed milk in bottles. Then I moved onto giving them both the breast by six weeks with bottles of formula at times of day when cluster feeding made life very difficult, ie 6pm. I religiously ebf at night because I found this was quite a good way of stimulating supply and also more convenient. But as I say second baby only had bottles until he was six weeks as he literally wouldn't take any milk from breast at all (possible tongue tie or tongue thrusting)

Just feed the first baby from the breast as much as you can, perhaps have some formula for the second one and then keep trying him on the breast and DEMAND Feed as much as possibly rather than getting tied up in expressing routines.

I felt it was better to keep breastfeeding by this method than to feel like I had failed because I wasn't exclusively breastfeeding and then give up earlier.

lack of sleep makes breastfeeding so exhausting but formula fed twins can be just as exhausting in other ways. There is no quick fix, and I felt by four months breastfeeding did make my life a lot easier.

sorry didn't mean to say "perhaps have some formula" definitely have some formula for second one - she needs milk! But don't give up the idea of breastfeeding. One of the wonderful things about twins is that once you are making the milk for one, you can up the supply to two, if you need to..you don't have to make the decision to stop right at the beginning if things aren't working out.

One week is so so early to get the hang of breastfeeding for tiny possibly early twins.

One of my twins was the same, and I was despairing, so I really, really sympathise.

I hadn't tried bottles (didn't have time to express, sterilise etc) so was trying to persevere with bf, but it took him forever to feed and he got irritated and the babies were out of synch.

I nearly gave up so many times, and would have if my other twin had not been a perfect feeder. My only advice is to set yourself mini goals - I used to make myself keep going another day or two, then another week. Then it just clicked and he started feeding ok and I was so glad I'd kept going.

Good luck.

Were they full term? The sucking reflex is last to form so babies born around 36 wks to 38 wks can be a bit rubbish at feeding. They get better.

They were born at 37 weeks, so a little early.

To update, the worse feeder of the two has improved, but I don't know how much longer I'm going to carry on. My eldest gets very upset when he sees me feeding them, each session takes hours, they're seeming hungrier and as if they've not taken enough from me, so the formula is having to be increased, and it's just getting too stressful. If I can make it to a month with them having some breast milk, I'll consider that a success , but I think I'm going to start cutting down and swapping completely to bottles. It's an emotional decision to have to make though.

It is really really difficult when you are by yourself with a toddler.

You are doing brilliantly to manage three children breast OR bottle.

Is there anyone to come and sit with you during the day, even if it is another mum and baby/toddler so that he does feel so left out and associates feeding with "normal" life. Getting your toddler to help with the babies (or pretend to help) with the babies as much as possible is another good way to get him involved, again whether it is breast or bottle. Bringing you a muslin, washing your feet with baby wipes, building you a tower of bricks to entertain you, doing a dance for you.

Okay that sounds crazy when you are in the thick of it,but part of the problem with breastfeeding/looking after twins for me was I felt in constant state of anxiety and panic, and never quite felt it was the new normal (I had toddler too). I couldn't get my head round this was the toddler's life from now on, two extra in the house. He will adore them, the more time he spends with them, if you make him feel like he is part of things, however ranshackle you may feel the arrangements are.