Both needing to be held....constsntly

[2015isgoingtobeBIG]

So nearly three weeks old, and my twins have broken me. Neither would stop screaming unless they were held all night last night. They weren't hungry (still fed ok after a cluster feed between 10-2), didn't need changing and didn't appear too hot or cold. I'm exhausted! The only change is my DH has gone back to work so my mum is here. During the day yesterday she would pick one up if they were grizzling whereas we're a bit more tough love/know we'll pay for it later, so don't pick them up if we know they're just grizzling because they're hungry and we're busy feeding their sibling. Surely one day of this won't have caused such a change in them? Any suggestions for how I can go forward? If holding them both is the only solution then I will do it, I'm not that heartless!, but it was near impossible to breastfeed either of them because it is a two handed process to help them latch and I was trying to juggle holding one and feed the other which was tricky even with a bottle. They're currently swaddled tightly which appears to have worked for now, that and they're probably as exhausted as me, but I know swaddling has its problems so not sure whether I should continue with this.
Help me oh wise women of MN
X

Sorry to say this but you will feel broken many more times! Mine are nearly 3 and still feel broken some days.

I kept mine tightly swaddled day and night until 7 weeks old then gradually loosened the swaddle until they were heavy enough for sleeping bags. Imo, babies sleep better when swaddled. Initially I swaddled with muslins then used a great Mamas and Papas zip up swaddles (much quicker than using a muslin).

In the first few weeks the babies are still sleepy, I found that got more fussy around 6/8 weeks. You will find what works for you with feeding, dont worry if one baby is left to cry/grizzle, this happens when you have two newborns.

White noise was also a life saver for us.

Good luck!

They are only weeks old so do feed them if they are crying for food, they are too young for "tough love".
Twins are hard work, I remember a couple of nights when we didn't even get into bed let alone go to sleep.
Have you tried a sling? Can sling one and carry the other.
It is a killer, hang on in there, but ditch the tough love.

This sounds familiar!

I found that my 2 wanted constant contact at this age. I reasoned that as they were born at 36 weeks they should really still be in the womb so held them as much as I could. This meant tandem feeding them together. DH would help me latch both on if he was home, if I was alone then I'd bottle feed them both together. The rest of the available time they were snuggled on me on the sofa.

At night we had to cosleep, so I'd hold both until they slept and then hopefully not wake them when I put them down. None of my children have enjoyed swaddling so we didn't bother with that.

It wasn't long (a few weeks) before they were happy to nap in their bouncers and sleep in their cribs.

Thank you ladies. It's good to know I'm not alone, and that this will happen again in the future!

I'd love to be able to tandem feed so that the occasions of one grizzling with hunger because I'm feeding the other reduce but we're quite a way off that unless I abandon breastfeeding. My littlest one js a two handed latch at the moment at best but is getting more reliable with this. Without tandem feeding, I'm not sure how to get around the mummy guilt of knowing one needs feeding but I can't physically get to them because my hands are full with their sibling. It works best for them if they need feeding at least 30-45 minutes apart as I can finish one before the other gets hungry but coupled with expressing this means I'm doing something feed related 90% of the day and they don't always sleep evenly do might wake earlier and the gap closes.

With regards the co-sleeping, I am close to trying this but know the advice is not to do this if they were prem or underweight-mine were born at 36w4d so not too early for teins but they were both very underweight so I'm a bit nervous about trying....and th doesn't seem to be any advice as to when the fact they were underweightat birth is no longer a problem. Anyone know?

Greetings from another thread 2015!

My twins are just about 10 days or so older than yours and it's hard going!

I researched the co-sleeping because I just couldn't get them to settle in the cot for any decent period of time.

It seems with premies that co-sleeping is not recommended because they can sometimes have trouble regulating their breathing. Mine are more and more robust every day so I feel that they are ok to be in the bed with me.

DH has been relegated to another room. So once I've tandem fed, one of the twins goes on to a sleep positioner thingy and the other I feed to sleep lying down. I follow all the safe co-sleeping guidelines as regards bedding etc.

Have you tried a dummy? I never used one with DS but one of my twins will take one quite happily and it buys me some time when they are both kicking off.

Not sure if this link works but this video is super for practical advice on tandem feeding alone:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=dbS3RiuZ7uI

It's really normal for newborns to want to be held all the time and I believe there is no "creating a rod for your back" because babies change all the time and their needs change as well.

I think back to my DS who was a very challenging baby, especially at night, and now he sleeps all night!!!

Good luck! And this too shall pass!

That's not a picture of me by the way! It's the woman in the video I linked

Thanks eagle and good to hear from you. I think I need to revisit where I breast feed and my pillows because I was at my aunts today and her sofa gave me much better back support so I could feed without needing to hold on to each baby as much which will help with tandem feeding.
So much to learn but I'll get there xx

I didn't end up breastfeeding so no advice there, but bloody hell your thread title brought back the memories! I was on my own with mine most of the time, and I remember being so proud of myself when I worked out I could lie them both side by side in the cot, then slip an arm underneath each of them and scoop them up simulatenously. Then I would back slowly across the room and flop into the lazy boy and just stay there all night, pretty much.

They are three now and still sometimes sit on me together in that chair. It's called the 'squash mummy' game

Hi
My twins are 9 weeks now and first 6-7 weeks were defo much harder than now, things do get easier so be hopeful.
I have tandem BF from beginning but did find positioning them and myself tricky until I got hold of decent feeding pillow. I got a harmony duo which was bigger and former than most v or u shaped ones I tried. Definitely made like easier.
Good luck xxx

Do you have a tandem bf pillow? Worth every Penney. I propped it up further with cushions and pillows under the 'wings' and used rolled up or folded muslins to help position the babies better as well. It does get easier to tandem feed and saves soooooo much time (although my pair did fall asleep on me after so i used to just watch TV and let them sleep after!

Oh yes, if your sofa is a bit unsupportive, then you will need eg an old duvet under the base cushions to firm it up. I found this helped a lot. Tandem feeding in bed was v difficult until they were much older.

Sorry to hijack thread but quick question about tandem feeding- what did people do when babies get bigger ie too big to manoeuvre easily or too big for pillow?

Congratulations

Do they sleep together?

Well, I used a feeding pillow until my twins were 1yo but once they had reached 6/7 mo and were a bit faster at feeding I tended to feed them separately except just before bed and in the middle of the night. The pillow is really at its best in the first few months when they feed forever (hour long feeds every three were not unusual)

Thanks for all your replies. It helps to know others have been there/are currently experiencing it and that it will get a bit better in time. I don't have a harmony pillow only a v shaped one that I was given as a gift but it is too small and doesn't really fit around me comfortably. I'd planned to get a harmony after seeing it at the antenatal class so this has spurred me on. They do sleep in the same cot which has been working fine until they get unsettled and keep disturbing the other.
Gotta go-need to move one sleeping baby from my chest to feed his sister. Thanks again x