Preparing toddler for twins

[bluishskies]

We found out yesterday at a reassurance scan that I am over 6 weeks pregnant with twins. The thing I am most worried about is how my 18 month old DD will deal with having her world turned upside down. What can I do to start preparing her for upcoming changes? I know it is still very early but I thought it would be easier to start laying the groundwork and hope for the best.

Congratulations!

Keep her involved from the start.

My toddler was about 18 months when we found out we were expecting twins. He came to the scans, we talked about babies a lot with him, showed him the newish babies of my friends. He helped choose things for the babies and we talked about what he thought their names would be.

We made sure that he wouldn't feel that they had taken anything from him so he kept his own cot etc. when we were decorating a room for them we also did some decorating in his.

When the time came he was really excited. DH bought him a 'best big brother' t-shirt which he wore when he came to the hospital to visit them. He didn't want to see me, only his sisters

There have been times when he has been a bit clingy, especially in the first few months, but he absolutely adores his sisters. I have always made sure he had some time with me each day when the babies were napping. He helps me choose their clothes and helps wash their bottles and make up their milks.

He goes to my In laws one day a week, and nursery 2 mornings so we kept his routine the same as possible. We asked them to only speak to him about the babies if he mentioned them, that way he could have a good break from the twins.

Also, let her see you holding other people's babies so she gets used to it.

It'll get hard looking after the toddler as you get towards the end of you pregnancy, but having two babies and a toddler has been so much easier than being heavily pregnant with a toddler!

Good luck

Thank you for your reply! My DD absolutely loves babies right now. So we talk quite a bit about babies because she sees them at her toddler group and when we are out. So I'm hoping that she is still enthusiastic about them when her siblings arrive.

I'm dreading being heavily pregnant and looking after her. I already feel guilty because I'm shattered all the time so I don't have the energy to chase her around all day and I fear it will only get worse.

Did you notice a big difference between your singleton pregnancy and your twin pregnancy?

You'll get more energy once the placenta(s) kick in.

The sickness and the heartburn was so much worse with the twins. My bump wasn't huge, but the babies seemed to be up under my rib cage so my lung capacity was reduced. It was so strange when they were born again and I could breath properly. The best thing though was walking out of the hospital 3 stone lighter than when I went in

I just googled when the placenta kicks in and the 5.5 weeks feels like an eternity. But it is encouraging that toddler with twin newborns is easier than toddler and heavily pregnant.

I didn't have any sickness with dd. This time around I've been ill since 5 weeks. When did your morning sickness ease off?

It was the day before the 12 week scan. I was going to tell the midwife that I couldn't take anymore as I was being sick every half an hour, and suddenly it stopped like magic. From then on I was just queasy in the mornings.

I swear I could feel movement from about 10 weeks too.

Having twins is such a fantastic experience. Be prepared for not being able to walk anywhere without people stopping to talk to you. We had lunch out today and even the kitchen staff came out to see the twins.

I'd recommend joining TAMBA. They have lots of useful advice and the discounts you can get on children's clothes and shoes etc more than covers the small monthly fee.

Funnily enough, I didn't expect how much people want to strike up a conversation with you when you have a baby. I found it a little challenging in the beginning but I guess you get used to it. Or do you?

How old are you DCs now? What did you do about a buggy for them? Thinking about the actual logistics is my way of keeping calm.

dS is now 2.5 years and the twins are 6 months. I hear a lot of 'oh look at the twins' when I'm out. If I haven't got time to stop I just try not to make eye contact.

We chose the Out and About Nipper double pushchair as it was the only one that would fit through our front door, but we love it. The foot rest is big enough for DS to sit on when he gets tired of walking so we don't need an extra buggy board. When they were first born, DS was too small to walk far so we used our old Phil & Ted with one twin in a cocoon underneath and the other in a carrier.

Do you have a car that will fit in 3 car seats? That was our biggest problem. We got a Toyota Verso which works really well for us, and still fits on the drive.

I'm not sure if our Peugot 406 will fit 3 3 car seats but I'm waiting a bit before checking because DH is quite attached to it.

We bought a used Quinny Buzz cheaply but I hate it. This time around, we've agreed to buy a new one.

How did you manage with 3 little ones in the beginning? How long was your DP's paternal leave?

DH had 2 weeks pat leave and then 1 week of half days where he just worked mornings. Those first few weeks are a bit of a blur. There were some times where we only got half an hours sleep in 48 hours.

The worst times after DH went back to work were when all three were crying. I used to sort DS out first and then comfort the twins. Any visitors that came round were pretty useless The best times were when I took all three into town, then the babies would sleep and DS was entertained. Oh and lots of trips to the park. When DS had his afternoon nap I used to settle on the sofa with the babies asleep and happy on me and try to stay awake.

You are so brave! My mum is already planning on coming and staying a month to help out so I'm lucky. She will fuss over DD and take care of the housework.

What was your labour experience like? I've read that 50% of twins are either born pre-term or of low weight.

That'll be lovely for your mum to get to spend so much time with the little ones.

I had a planned induction at 36+3. Twin 1 was 6lbs 7 and Twin 2 was 6lbs 1. twin 2 was breech, but that didn't seem to be a problem. I was umming and aahing about getting an epidural, but in the end there wasn't really time. The midwife was panicking a bit as the rest of the 'twin team' was stuck in theatre as twin 1 was born, and only managed to rush in just in time for twin 2. We stayed in hospital for about 3 days as Twin 2 needed to be treated for a bit of jaundice, but we were just on the labour ward as no special care was needed.

My mum is pretty great really. She just gets on with it and it was really nice having her when DD was born and I'm sure it will be as great when this lot arrives.

Well done! That they were born pretty healthy and normal weight makes me feel so much better! I was induced with DD because of a possible placenta abruption but ended up with a c-section 2 days later. Despite sounding horrible, it was actually fine. So I wouldn't mind skipping the induction and going straight to the c-section.

What type of twins are yours? Mine are DCDA, which are the least complicated sort I believe. Any other tips to getting through this pregnancy?

Also, thank you for replying and letting me bombard you with all these questions. It has made it so much easier to get my head around having twins.

Mine were MCDA so I had fortnightly scans for TTTS. You should hopefully avoid that risk with DCDA twins.

It took me weeks to get over the shock of discovering it was a twin pregnancy. Of course everyone else was delighted, but they didn't have to do all the hard work .

One other bit of advice would be to invest in one of those pregnancy pillows (if you don't have one already) it was brilliant for support whilst sleeping and useful for feeding the babies on when they arrived.

Also, start looking for bargains now on any extra kit you'll need. Luckily for me a local baby stuff shop had a closing down sale when I was about 20 weeks. I got the extra car seat, bouncer, cot, bedding and loads of other bits I needed at bargain price.

Hi we talked about the babies being DD babies - and when arrived i would say mom needs to change the babies rather than x needs changing so any anger was directed at me. We also sang and talked a lot when hands were full. We would sneek off when they were asleep for play doh and full attention.

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I just wanted to thank everyone for all the great advice. I was feeling overwhelmed by it all but now I see that it is all going to be fine.