End of my tether

[Fandangos]

Hi

I'm so low that I can't even face typing this. I have almost 4 yr old twins. They are so amazingly spirited and gorgeous in every way. I have a healthy 7 yr old too. They're all so precious to me

But I'm so fed up. I have been for months. With the kids, no family support, being a stay at home Mum and feeling lonely, it's left me so flat.

I have a lot of friends where I live, but everyone's always working/busy. Friends I've been planning to meet up with have cancelled a few times recently, for whatever reason. It's left me feeling shitty.

I'm desperate to get a couple of nights away with my husband, as our relationship has suffered, but it's impossible. His family are in Italy, mine in Scotland.

I'm at the point where I'm not being a good Mum. I'm shouting and moody. I feel hopeless.

I've had CBT, I've seen the doctor about antidepressants, neither of which were right for me.

I do some things for me, like running, other exercise and I go out for the ocassional drink.

I feel like I want to run away, to not have to be needed by anyone.

Whenever I hear about friends/couples regularly getting away, whilst family have their kids, I feel so envious.

Not sure there's any advice for me, I just know that I need to talk to someone. My husband is very caring. But, he gives me a lot of, "things aren't as bad as you think" type answers.

Hi OP,

Sorry your post hasn't had a response before this.

I know how relentless having twins +1 can be. I dream about just being able to go out with my DH for an evening meal by ourselves! In fact the only time we have had to ourselves in the last 3 years has been one meal on my birthday last year.

Could you all go and visit your family in Scotland, then leave the children with them for a night or two and get away with your husband?

Op you're not alone
DP and I never go away as a couple, no one offers with twins.

I remember feeling just like that I only had the twins. To be honest, when they were about 2, I just couldn't cope and their lovely dad saw I was imploding and let me go to Corfu for a week all alone while he had the kids.

The first day was brill. The sleeping!!!! bliss.

But I came home after 4 days because I just felt, well, better!

If anyone can give you just one night's decent sleep it would make such a massive difference.

You do lose your life to it for a few years, I'm afraid. My DH used to say 'that's another day we won't have to do again' with a mixture of sorrow and relief. Best of luck.x