Help me with childcare options please, i'm freaking out

[heslimedme]

I'm due back to work at the end of March and probably should have tackled this a while back but i've adopted the 'head in the sand' approach to the problem which i admit is not very constructive but i knew it wouldn't be easy.

I'm a civil servant, earning crap money in a crap job. DH is self employed and earns very little and what he does earn is not reliable. I'm going back FT and using my holiday to work either a 3 but more likely a 4 day week (with a view to finding something better paid and more flexible working conditions) and DH will have to muck in as he works from home but that means he won't be working or earning money.

I've been asking around and childminders cost £10/hour. So for 2 babies that's about £140 just for ONE day

Nurseries are probably a bit less (i should have signed up months ago i know) but i imagine are still well above what we could afford and still eat, pay rent etc.

To top it off (sorry i'm going to have a moan) we're living in a 1 bed bed flat, with 2 rooms plus a bathroom and NO BATH so we have to bathe the gilrs in the living room/kitchen. And we have damp and mould all over the place, the washing machine is on it's last legs, the freezer doesn't work and the kitchen sink is blocked and the taps don't work either (apparently because we 'turn them off and on the wrong way' according to our good for nothing, greedy, greedy, greedy landlord).

I am totally at the end of my teather and have no idea how i'm going to cope financially when i'm back at work.

Can anyone recommend options or let me know what worked for you?

Au pairs seem like a cheap option but that means finding a 3 bed place to move to which means more money going out.

If you don't have any suggestions, perhaps you could just assure me that things will get better as i could really do with a bit of positive thinking at the moment.

I don't my think you can leave au pairs in sole charge of children under 2 and they are really there as more of a helper anyway, rather than sole childcsre provider

Most nurseries will give discounts for a second child (even a twin) so you should check and also check with the childminders. Are you entitled to any tax credits? Also, you should be able to get childcsre vouchers from your work. This is basically where you agree to give up a bit of your gross salary in return for vouchers that you can pay an ofsted registered carer (such as a nursery or childminder - not an au pair) with. The benefit is that you are paying childcare (up to a certain level) out of untaxed income.

Hope this helps a bit!

Hi Heslimed me,

That sounds tough. do you qualify for any tax credits etc?

Would it actually work better financially for you NOT to go back to work or for DH to not go back to work if he is the lesser earner?

I am very fortunate in that I have nearby family who are my childcare - I would have been working for around £150pm in the beginning after childcare costs otherwise.

Thank you gobbo.

I've checked a few times but we don't seem to qualify for tax credits which seems unbelieveable considering our joint income. I've tried to call but they're always busy but i'm going to have to try again.

I've asked work for info on the vouchers already so I will look into that option.

I didn't know that about au pairs, i think it was a long shot anyway.

Plug your numbers into entitledto.co.uk it should give you a pretty good idea if you are entitled to anything.

We weren't entitled to tax credits but once child care was added on we get a partial payment. We have 3 dc so got a nanny which you can use as long as they are Ofsted registered. Financially it doesn't make much sense for me to work but eldest will start school September, and the twins will get 15 hours next year so looking at a short term headache.

How did you plan to manage when you decided to have a baby? Obviously you didn't plan for twins but presumably you talked the rest through.

You should get family tax credit once the children are born, if you are so badly paid? And claim childcare fees back? Or are you only badly paid within the context of living in the southeast?
If your DP works from home he may have to fit in his work around the children - I accept that this won't be easy with twins. Or he works in the evening and you work during the day, so take shifts with childcare and don't have to pay for it.

Another possible option with your partner working from home is that you pay for someone cheap, on minimum wage, to be a "mother's help". That person then does basic care of the twins and basic household tasks, but your husband is still there and has ultimate responsibility. The mother's help wouldn't need to be Ofsted registered as working in your home.

I actually think that with your partner working from home you do have some options.

Maybe a combination of nursery and your DH looking after them? - if in nursery set sessions, he'd have time he could definitely work. If looking at nurseries, look carefully at what they include e.g. mine includes all meals and has a twin discount (% off the whole bill rather than one child's) plus is term time only which works better. Obviously it's not the only consideration as you need to be happy with the nursery itself!

OP where do you live that means childminders cost £10ph per child?!

That sounds very expensive for CMs, even for London, have you rung round?

Civil service departments can be very flexible employers with job prospects, might be better to stay? Unless you have transferable skills and are willing to work FT.

Any scope for your H to earn more or be the main carer, at least for part of the week? Will he cover all the times when the DC are unwell and unable to go to nursery? If not it'd be better to save some of your A/L for that rather than using it up on shorter working weeks.