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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

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Original poster

Teacher can't tell my twins apart

61 replies

twinsufficient · 17/09/2014 12:52

My twin daughters have just gone into year1. From the start of the year the teacher has found it impossible to tell them apart. She came up with the idea of one of them wearing a pink hair grip but inevitably the same dt doesn't always want to wear it! Anyway, they came home yesterday and told me that the teacher was going to put name stickers on them. I'm not happy with this as I feel that she will just look at the name label and not try and learn the differences in their faces. Also, it is making them different from everyone else in the class.

Furthermore I am also annoyed that the teacher has only put one twin in dance club even though both wanted to do it as I feel it's to make her life easier. This would have been fair enough if it was down to a ballot but it seems like positive discrimination - we've already got one twin we don't need anymore! Twin mums out there how have you dealt with these issues?

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Heels99 · 17/09/2014 12:55

I put mine in separate classes. How similar are they? If they are absolutely identical then what do you suggest would help the teacher tell them apart, you need to give her some suggestions. Otherwise sticker seems like the only option. Ask her why both are not in dance club.

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 17/09/2014 12:56

The second is easy to address - if there is a space in dance club still, surely both girls could get in.

The first - it may be hard for her to learn the differences, especially whilst learning 28 other faces. Would you consider the labels as a temporary measure and hopefully by half term she wouldn't need them?

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 17/09/2014 12:59

And if the dance club is generally oversubscribed, there should be a rota system or similar.

zipzap · 17/09/2014 13:00

how did their reception teacher tell them apart - could she help the y1 teacher?

I'd also ask how many others didn't get into dance class - but maybe I'd get one of the other mums whose dd didn't get in to ask if there was space - so that you would know if it was genuine or not!

Original poster

twinsufficient · 17/09/2014 13:01

I know it's difficult for others to tell them apart but their teachers so far haven't tried. One even admitted to me that she wasn't sure the reports she had written related to the right child! They can't be in different classes as it's done by birthdays and obviously theirs are the same!

OP posts:

Boysandme · 17/09/2014 13:01

You need to help her, you are asking a lot for someone else just to be able to tell the difference. DS has identical twins in his class and I still can't tell who is who years later, DS and his classmates and teachers are fine though.

For pre-school and the first couple of years of school, one of the twins wore a bracelet on her left wrist, her name also began with L and it was easy for everyone to check if they were not sure. It was a friendship type bracelet that stayed permanently on rather than having to remember each day. Once teeth started being lost, the teacher used to use who had lost teeth to distinguish them.

Is there any physical difference? In this case, one has slightly bigger ears so DS and everyone else learnt that years ago. Could you point out a freckle pattern or something slightly different to help the teacher out?

MrsWolowitz · 17/09/2014 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsHerculePoirot · 17/09/2014 13:04

Could they maybe try stickers for a week? As a teacher (secondary, so I don't have them all day mind), I have had trouble telling twins apart for a short time. I have made great efforts to make sure I can tell them apart easily though as quickly as possible. Being married to an identical twin, I know how frustrating it can be when people don't seem to understand they are completely different people. If it was me and I needed stickers I would probably ask all children to wear them for a week so they don't stand out. I would expect to tell them apart after a week with probably the odd slip hear and there!

Original poster

twinsufficient · 17/09/2014 13:05

They have very different shoes (one has patent one doesn't) but this doesn't see to be enough. One is also slightly taller but admittedly this only works if they're stood next to each other!

OP posts:

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 17/09/2014 13:07

"as it's done by birthdays and obviously theirs are the same"

This seems to be an odd reason on the part of the school - but if the classes are both at 30 it's too late to change now, probably.

My school splits up twins so doesn't have this problem.

Wednesbury · 17/09/2014 13:10

My friend has ID twins and I do find it difficult to tell who is who, even though I have known her for 2 years. It is easy if both girls are standing in front of me, but at a glance I would have to pause and if there was just one a little way away I would struggle. I am always worried about getting them mixed up.

I would let her use labels initially as it will mean she is able to get on with observing them and making sure she knows who is doing what without the potential for confusion. Then hopefully she will feel more confident more quickly in telling them apart without the labels?

I agree it's not ideal though.

superbagpuss · 17/09/2014 13:13

I have non identical twins, B/B

This year the teacher calls them both by the same name which got complaints from the son thats not got the name. DH went in and had a word (he does the school run) and as they look quite different I hope that does the trick.

GothicRainbow · 17/09/2014 13:19

I'm a twin and remember this problem very clearly from school, we were in the same class and our mum ended up giving us name necklaces and also dressing us in slightly different uniform - different shoes, my sister wore a cardigan and I had the jumper.

This helped to an extent but didn't solve the problem completely. We got very used to looking up when each other's names were called just in case!

cathpip · 17/09/2014 13:34

I am a twin, and even my mum had difficulty telling us apart. Like a pp said you automatically answer to both names just incase the teacher/friend has got it wrong, you just get used to it :). Am afraid until the teacher gets used to each of your dd's personalities, maybe a name tag is not such a bad idea. As for dance class, if there is space insist that they both attend......

TrickoftheMind · 17/09/2014 13:37

Can you not cut their hair differently?

zipzap · 17/09/2014 13:44

Might be worth talking to the school about the problems the teacher is experiencing and see if they can come up with a better solution to sorting the kids out than by age!

I could maybe see that when they are all unknowns in reception age might be one strategy to use. But it seems like a cop out beyond that - it also means that they won't ever mix the children up unless there's an odd one or two near the splitting point that change because somebody's left and the person that they took instead is significantly older or younger.

It's also terrible for dealing with twins if you do want them to be separate from each other (which seems to be a fairly common thing).

And I'd also complain about dance club - not least because it would be reasonable to hope that both dd's did it at the same time so you didn't have a double pick up to do that day if it's after school!

Georgethesecond · 17/09/2014 13:44

You need to help out. If you don't like name labels then come up with something else - different hair, different uniform somehow (different supplier? Jumper/cardigan? Different socks/tights). The teacher isn't being difficult, if she can't tell she can't tell.

Marcipex · 17/09/2014 13:47

One have plaits, one a pony tail?

I remember twin boys in nursery and the teacher implored their mother to dress them differently and she refused outright.
We were all sorry for the teacher tbh and thought the mum was a loon.

Are name stickers so awful? I quite see the dance club is annoying but ours is always over subscribed too.

idontlikealdi · 17/09/2014 13:51

My ID twins started preschool a couple of weeks ago and they insist on wearing the same clothes at the moment. I try and put them in different hairstyles but then the teachers would have to remember who has what in their hair and it doesn't always stay in anyway.

They put labels on their backs for the first couple of days which I didn't mind.

I worry about this when they start school - we want them to go to the local school which is single form entry they will have to be in the same class.

MyBootsAreMuddy · 17/09/2014 14:16

I have b/g twins so the s problem won't ever effect them.
Dd1 had Id twin girls in her class throughout pre-prep it was pretty much impossible to tell them apart unless stood side by side (even then you had to really look). There mum embroidered their first initial onto the collar of their top to make it easier(obviously this only works if they are different! In there case an A and G).

ShoeWhore · 17/09/2014 14:25

Two sets of id twins in dc2's class. The set who are dc2's best friends I can only tell apart when they are stood together despite knowing them for 4 years

The other set have different hair: one has a fringe, the other doesn't. I always know instantly who is who. We've also known them for a long time (since they were toddlers) and their mum has done this for as long as I can remember.

The dance club thing is a bit annoying but my dcs don't always get a place at clubs either.

Doublethecuddles · 17/09/2014 14:27

Personally I don't think there is any harm putting labels on the children, in a busy class she doesn't have time to look at shoes. Could you let one wear a cardigan and skirt and the other pinafore and jumper? Can their friends tell them apart or are they just known as "the twins" in the playground? I think you need to try and help the school and their friends out by dressing them slightly differently.
As with the Dance Club, why should they be thought of as a pair? It has never bothered me when one of my twins was chosen for a club and not the other. I enjoy the time alone with one of them. Could you make this your special time with them?

HortenMarket · 17/09/2014 14:33

Help her out for goodness sake! I have taught several sets of identical twins and also have identical twin brothers. When people see one of those twins without the other its hard to get the name correct immediately. Can't you do something simple like always have one twin's hair in plaits and one in a ponytail, at least until she knows them better. Don't climb on your high horse and go in complaining. You would be exactly the same in her position you just know them well.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 17/09/2014 14:33

Also, it is making them different from everyone else in the class

I hate to point out the obvious, but as twins they are already different to everyone else in the class! Having a name label when you are 5 is really not a big deal. It's a badge/sticker.

donnie · 17/09/2014 14:36

OP - how do you know the teachers "haven't tried"?

I have taught identical twins and it is v difficult sometimes.

It's only the 3rd week of term FGS, it's not like the teacher has already had them for a full term. - you sound rather entitled, IMO.

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