4th pregnancy it's twins!! Help!!

[Sweetshop]

Hi. I'm looking for some reassurance if anyone can give any? We have 3 kids 6, 4 & 2 and life is pretty hard work. We've just found out we're expecting non identical twins so we'll have 5 kids under 7! Very unplanned, although we both talked about the possibility of a 4th and decided against it mainly for financial reasons and no family nearby. I'm a SAHM and DH works a lot so I'm often with the kids on my own. I'm just trying to get my head around it. I feel like we're going to be freaks! And I don't know how we will cope! Is it really that hard?

I could have written this message about 18 months ago when I found out I was expecting twins for my 3rd pregnancy (with a 2 and 4 year old already). In fact, I pretty much did.

I was in complete shock and despair about the whole situation, thought (like you) that everyone would think we were freaks, had no idea how we were going to cope, just felt so sorry for DS 1 and 2 that we had brought this situation upon them and the family.

Well, my twins are now 1, and I wanted to reassure you that it has all been so much better than expected! The first 4 or so months were crazy and we just got through them, but since then it has been getting better and better. When you are pregnant, you just forget how lovely young babies are , and how they wheedle their way into your affections! And before long you pretty much forget that your family was any other way.

That said, it will be hard work. Any help you can get will make things so much easier. Call Homestart and see if you can get a volunteer one morning/afternoon a week. Maybe see if you can get a childcare student from the local FE college or something like it to come and spend a few hours with you in the afternoons (for minimal pay) to get work experience credits.

Also, if anyone can take your oldest two(?) to school in the mornings(or at least some mornings), that will be a huge, huge help.

Good luck. You will adjust, and there will come a time when you walk out of the house with all 5 with your head held high, the "you've got your work cut out for you" type comments will bounce off you, and you may even feel sorry for all those "normal sized" families with 2 or 3 kids who don't seem to be having nearly as much fun as yours...

Thanks that's so nice to hear. I am also feeling guilty about the effect on the others I just can't believe this is happening. I thought twins were hereditary and having none in the family I never thought it would happen to us! Thanks for the help tips. Luckily DH can help with the school drop off so we should be ok on that front. I just can't imagine having 2 at once to do anything! Especially with 3 other squabbling siblings. I suppose you just learn to adapt. Can you tell me how your pregnancy progressed too? I'm only 6 weeks and feeling very sick and tired. It's just such a shock. We're only just getting into our stride having 3 and I was just thinking about getting back into work. I now feel like we're doomed.

Welcome to the rollercoaster. I had 3 dcs (8, 6, 4) when we decided to try for no4. We also got no5, found out at 12 Wk scan and cried my way through the hr & 1/2 scan. The next 6 months were spent going through many phases of, were so lucky, what the have we done, how will we cope etc mine id girls are nearly 12 wks now and I'm not going to deny the fact it's flipping hard work and summer holidays has been really hardwork but when I look at them and they smile at me my heart melts and I feel stupidly blessed. You very quickly get used to the logistics of having 2, even though right now it might not seem it. Are they definitely sure they're non id, I say this because at my 12 Wk scan I was told non id and a couple of wks later had a phone call booking in my next scan because they were id and sharing a placenta. I too have no twins in the family. Please please ask if you have any questions as it's all still very fresh in my mind. Good luck and hope the sickness passes

Welcome to the madhouse. I was expecting #3 and got #4 too, then expecting #5 and got #6 too and now expecting #7 so I'll have 7 under 6. by gosh is it hard work and knackering and stressful and somedays you feel like sitting in a corner and crying or laughing at yourself as they create chaos around you and you just wish for the simple times.

People will stare and will think the worst of your situation but who cares, because for every crazy day, there's a good day and for every weird look or snide remark there will 5 innocent child who adore you and think you're the greatest. Every smile, laugh, milestone they grant you with makes everything worth it.

I don't regret one single moment or wish I had done things differently. I am completely in love with my life right now even though 6 days out of the week I'm overrun by children I created and live in a house of chaos.

When people look at me with pity, I grin back at them because they'll never understand how truely blessed and happy I am! :)

I hardly had any symptoms during my 1st twin PG (mcma twin boys), even though I was "set-up" for complications. My sickbands curbed my nausea and the only thing I really had to deal with was Carpal Tunnel and Ulnar Nerve entrapment. My 2nd twin PG was riddled with complication but again seabands cured my nausea and I dealt with cravings and carpal tunnel.

The same as multiplemama. I had an 8 month old went for 12 week scan and it was 2and 3. When the eldest was 3 and the twins 2 accidentally fell pregnant and was 4 and 5 so eldest had just turned 4 when they arrived.

People do look at you weird for having so many and you develop a thick skin with it all .., sod them, it might be chaos by I would t change it x

Thanks for your replies ladies it's so nice to know I'm not alone and that everything is going to be ok. It's horrible to worry what other people think definitely need to toughen up - sure 2 lovely babies will help. Slightlyinsane they told me non identical as 2 sacs but I'm only 6/7 weeks so am I right thinking if they share a placenta they maybe identical? That must be fascinating. I'm starting to feel a bit excited but then the fear sets in a little. How have everyone's other children adapted? Any tips? Multiplemama thanks for the sea band tip. I'm finding sleep is helping a lot. Amazing you and harrygracejessica have 2 sets - proof I can do this! This may be just coincidence but everyone I know with twins has same sex twins and the child they had before was the opposite sex. Does this follow for any of you? Can't help but wonder what mine are ! I have DD1, DD2 & DS1.

Evening, yep it's all to do with the placenta. They can each have their own sacks but share a placenta. See what they say at your next scan.

You do get strange looks and the constant "you've got your hands full" comments but like today you get really lovely comments, we were sat having lunch when a lovely lady came and told us we have a lovely family with well behaved kids (good job she hadn't seen us 10 minutes earlier).

You're welcome. I believe seabands saved my life during the first few weeks! Not had nausea this PG though well I could have and not realised since I didn't find out I was PG til 13 weeks!

My DC, can't speak for anyone else, were okay during the pregnancy as we tried to include them on everything from choosing baby clothes, asking for name suggestions (ds1 has nn this one Soyuz ) that sorta thing and they liked stroking and kissing my tummy and talking to baby and even painted on my belly (a picture for baby they said). Then when my 1st twins arrived they were skeptical why there was 2 babies but after they got gifts from said babies they completely ignored them for awhile but a couple days later was trying to play with them etc. When 2nd set arrived (preemies) we had time to talk and prepare them as babies were hospital quite awhile. When I showed kids this PG scan my 5yo was quite miffed and asked, "where's the other baby! I want two!" I think it depends on how you prepare them and include them before and after they're here. My 2.11yo twins like to bounce the bouncer and help bathe them by sharing baths . Didn't mean to write an essay... !

My 1st set shared placenta and sac, 2nd set had one each. As for your theary; I have ds1, dd1, ds2&3, dd3&ds4 and this bun in the oven is ds5! :)

Ahh I meant my 1.11yo twins*

As for tips; books, include them even of is minor things, by presents from each baby to each child, as for everything else I just bluffed my way through! I don't my kids have ever felt neglected because of the babies. When things got stressful say 2 crying babies and 2 annoyed toddlers/kids, I get them to help or ask them if they want to go into their rooms away from babies until mama has them sleeping. As I said I bluff my way through it most days xx

Missed your question about sex, I had dd1, dd2, ds then dd4&5, so followed the pattern. I do feel sorry for ds being in the middle of 4 dds but there's noway I'm having any more to try and even it out. I

Even if they have their own sacs and placentas if they are the sane sex there's still a chance they are identical x

Yeah, approximately 20-30% of ID twins have their own sac and their own palcenta - if the egg splits in the first 2 days. And are known as DIDI twins and they're less risker than any other type :) So who knows! Xx

Thanks guys all helpful stuff. Still can't imagine the reality of looking after 2 babies at once, plus 3, but sure it will all happen and I guess get easier with time (!?). If any of you fancy sharing your birth stories, when babies arrived and if they needed special care etc I'd love to hear. I had 3 c/sections so this will also be a cesarean I guess at 37 weeks?

I have really enjoyed reading this thread - I went for my 12wk scan a week ago with (as I thought) our very much planned no. 4 and discovered that no. 5 is tagging along too :-) We already have DS (nearly 6), DD1 (nearly 4) and DD2 (2 next week).

It's been a bit of a rollercoaster week - between adjusting to needing to buy more equipment and getting my head around the logistics, and also saying goodbye to my plans for a home birth (had them for both DDs) etc.

Thanks to everyone else for sharing your experiences - some really useful ideas & tips, and reassurance.

Sweetshop I'm sure we can do this :-) But it's definitely going to make life a bit more crazy/exciting around here!

I wouldn't say it gets easier but more managable as you find routines and what works for you :)

I don't mind sharing my birth stories.

My first set they were MCMA which meant they shared sac and placenta. I had no choice but opt for a ELCS due to very high risk and was booked in for around 34 weeks again because the longer I carried the higher the risk. However, I was very lucky to have a healthy pregnancy and managed to push my ELCS date back to 38 weeks (I was monitored weekly). I went into labour before my ELCS (I was 37+3) so had to go to hospital for an emergency CS, as we were waiting for doctor to arrive to give me an epidural, I had to push and T1's head could be seen, so I had no choice but to have a vaginal birth, T2 was breech but luckily the cords and placenta stayed attached and didn't rip. I had no pain relief whatsoever - my choice. Then thr Doctor finally arrived with the intended epidural 15 minutes later! We all went home the same day :)

And my premature twin birth story can be found [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_announcements/1869330-The-quick-traumatic-birth-of-Artemis-and-Apollo]]. They spent time in SCBU and NICU.

Well.. that link didn't work!

See if this works; 2nd Set birth story

Except for clothes, gdiapers and the normal stuff we didn't buy two of everything. We didn't see the point.

We bought 1 swing and 1 bouncer and alternated, and we bought highchairs that attached to the table to save up on space. Not everyone does this and it doesn't always work but let them cot shared (once they grew out of the twin co-sleeper) to save on money and space. Same with other things :)

It's the pram and a co-sleeper we're having to buy - always had a moses basket before.

At least we have tons of clothes :-)

Our co-sleeper was a lifesaver. And I have too many five prams .

Did any of you breastfeed your twins? I have breastfed all the others but its a bit daunting thinking of doing two at once....

I breastfed both sets. Still breastfeeding both sets. Well, eldest twins have a morning, night and dreamfeed and have expressed milk throughout the day. And I feed on demand with my youngest twins although I've not been able to exclusively breast feed like I want due to them being preemies and having to spend time apart.

I tandem feed as it's the easiest for me. But occasionally only one is hungry but I prefer to tandem whenever possible. The oldest twins have always tandem fed they have really weird in sync feed and sleep patterns.

Mine were both c - sections.

First set booked in for 37 weeks but I woke up one morning when my waters went with a pop so they arrived at 33+3 and had 20 day stay in hospital as they don't get the suck reflex until about 36 weeks.

Second set booked for 38 weeks (hospital policy had changed) I sat on the bed as was going for a lay down as felt dreadful when my waters went with a pop again and they were delivered at 36+5. One twin was fine but one needed a lot if recuss and ended up on c-pap for a few days.

Hi Sweetshop and any others expecting twins with several children already,

Just checking in again - hope you're feeling buoyed up by all the positive stories of 2/3/4 plus twins!

Happy to share my birth story if it would be useful. I had a natural birth 1 day shy of 38 weeks. I was originally booked in for a C-section as twin 1 was breech, but in the end he turned, and the medical team thought it best for me to go for a natural birth (had had two prior to this). I had an epidural (which I hadn't had before), with mixed results, but, overall the birth was a reasonably positive experience. Twins were 6 lb 3 and 6 lb 11.

I breastfed exclusively for about 7 weeks, then went to mixed feeding, which I did until 6 months. This was mainly so that other people could help out at night. My psychological state wasn't great during pregnancy and, once the twins were about 2 months, everyone persuaded me that my getting sleep was a priority to minimise chances of post-natal depression.

Hope this helps, and good luck

Thanks everyone for your replies and birth stories it seems anything could happen and things are a bit more unpredictable with a twin birth. So glad yours are ok multiplemama premie birth must have been hard.
MrsCMAW congratulations on your news. It is certainly a lot to get to get our heads around! When is your due date?
Good to hear about breastfeeding. I have also exclusively breastfed and was wondering how possible/practical it is with two. I guess time will tell how it works for me. Do you have a special pillow?
I'm swinging between being excited and being a bit depressed as it's just so unexpected and hard enough with 3 this summer holiday!

I have the Twin Z breasfeeding pillow - I love this pillow because it supports me and the twins/baby. I think you could only get it in America but it's now in the UK (online anyway, I think).

Thank you. My son had a lot of problems from his preemie birth and on Tuesday, but he's now on doing well and his sister is already walking!