What do you wish that you had known?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

neversleepagain · 18/05/2014 13:22

That no one will care how your twins are fed - BF/FF and don't beat yourself up.

Your life will be busy and the babies will take up all your time. Your life will never be the same again.

It is very different to have a singleton and you wont be able to keep up with singleton mothers who are off to baby gym, swimming, baby massage etc.

Let them be messy. When they are toddlers, they will want to do everything for themselves especially feeding and they will get filthy. Mine currently have sticky crazy hair (from frozen smoothies). I have learnt to take a deep breath and embrace the mess.

I love my twins and wouldn't change a thing :)

Linguaphile · 18/05/2014 13:35

Well, I'm not a seasoned veteran as mine are only 8.5 months old, but...

As neversleepagain pointed out, nobody cares how you fed them. Do your best and don't fret about it.

Avoiding cross-contamination is futile. Best to embrace this sooner rather than later as it will save a lot of stress with dummies, bottles, spoons, etc.

Getting out of the house is vital. Make plans to go out to things like play groups, baby massage, etc. even if you feel tired, as often people will see that you are exhausted and offer to help with your babies to give you a break! They will tell you that you are supermum, which is nice to hear. :) Also, a change of scenery will do wonders for your morale and help to keep home from feeling like a cage. I always came back from outings feeling refreshed and encouraged. Plus, you never have to deal with the whole 'I don't know anyone' issue as people are naturally interested in twins and will want to chat.

Babywearing makes life soooooo much easier. If you can figure out a tandem carry (I used two Connectas, one on front and one on back), all the better. Makes a huge difference to have hands free and silent, content babies when it all gets to be too much.

andadietcoke · 19/05/2014 10:44

I've stole this list from the December TAMBA magazine because it really resonated with me. I've picked the ones relevant to babies...

crying doesn't hurt babies, just parents
it's perfectly acceptable to wash your hair twice a week, if that
it is possible to be maniacally busy and bored to death at the same time
dummies and television are necessary evils; necessary if you ever fancy going to the loo
I can do a lot more than I think I can
you are allowed to wake your baby for a feed; it's your baby
I will always, always look a little bit pregnant
there are times when only a long scream into a pillow is going to make me feel better
guilt and motherhood go hand in hand. I don't know why, but that's the rule
days out are never as bad as you think they are going to be (it's the ones you think are going to be a breeze you need to worry about)

idontlikealdi · 20/05/2014 13:19

If you want to go back to work do it if you can, don't feel guilty about it. Going back to work part time saved my sanity.

accessorizequeen · 20/05/2014 20:18

That separating them even when babies is a good thing. They are not two halves of a whole. That baby led weaning for two children is messier than you can ever imagine (but would still do it again). That as a parent of multiplies you're bloody amazing!

stinkypants · 30/05/2014 04:37

Ooh more please, feeling hugely encouraged as I sit here in the middle of the night unable to sleep with indigestion at 27 weeks pregnant with twins. Already have two children.

Grokette · 30/05/2014 05:05

Mine are 2.6 and absolutely killing me right now. We are surviving though, apparently, so my advice would be:

You probably won't be able to do a lot of the things singles do, so try really hard not to feel guilty about it (same point neversleepagain made) You will probably feel like a shit mother for not always getting them to all the classes and activities and stuff that you would like to, but you are not. Of course, if you have someone else around to help this probably won't be the case.

They will start to interact, eventually. I got so fed up of people asking "Do they keep each other entertained?" when mine were babies! No, of course they bloody well don't! But now, having turned 2, they can actually talk to one another and chase each other around and have a good time together.

However, they will fight. And fight and fight and fight and the hardest thing is knowing how much to intervene and how much to let them sort it out together. I'm still working on that one.

Oh, and a little positivity to finish off with:

The sweetest, most wonderful thing ever is hearing them saying each others' names. It is the best.

(I still want to kill mine today though)

neversleepagain · 30/05/2014 12:21

Grokette I also get fed up of the "do they entertain each other" thing. I sometimes reply "yes, they also change each others nappies, feed each other and put each other to bed" I think that reply gives people the message. What gets me more is when people say twins are easy because they can entertain each other piss off

Mine are 20 months now and the fighting as begun! They do also play a bit together when they are no trying to murder each other over toys, food etc

Grokette · 30/05/2014 12:37

Oh yeah, I love the 'twins are easy' for one reason or other, all spouted by people who have absolutely no idea! They are apparently meant to entertain each other and keep each other company, be each other's best friend, share everything, and oh you've got it easy because you got two out of the way at once... Erm no. It wasn't easy carrying and giving birth to two at once, not at all. Just ask my saggy belly.

I wish I'd been able to ask for help, especially early on but still now. My girls were premature and sick, and when they were little it felt like I had to prove that I could do it on my own, because otherwise they would be 'taken away" again, like they were when they were born and in NICU. I still feel like that now, but it's getting better. So, the lesson is, ask for help! It is not a failure on your part to need help. Even people with just one baby ask for help and get it all the time, but there's something about multiples that seems to make you think you need to prove yourself up to the task. Or maybe it's just me.

MrsMulward · 30/05/2014 14:03

That breastfeeding twins is doable and ultimately was easier for me than formula feeding.
It took a good while for breastfeeding to get established.
Breasfeeding support people don't have a clue about twins. Top up with formula if you need to and don't listen to anyone who tells you not to.
Get as much help as you can at the start.
Nothing lasts, sometimes it's very tough but it doesn't last
They do eventually sleep through. (Or so they say)
It's wonderful

AlpacaLypse · 30/05/2014 14:11

The 'entertaining each other' bit does happen, but not until well into toddlerhood.

Imprisoning them in an old fashioned playpen is perfectly all right if you need to answer phone, clean loo, use loo etc etc.

CBeebies is the only thing that can save your sanity sometimes.

They're fifteen now. They're actually completely wonderful (mostly) and it's been fantastic fun!

MrsMulward · 30/05/2014 15:32

That breastfeeding twins is doable and ultimately was easier for me than formula feeding.
It took a good while for breastfeeding to get established.
Breasfeeding support people don't have a clue about twins. Top up with formula if you need to and don't listen to anyone who tells you not to.
Get as much help as you can at the start.
Nothing lasts, sometimes it's very tough but it doesn't last
They do eventually sleep through. (Or so they say)
It's wonderful

superbagpuss · 12/07/2014 09:43

that potty training was only possible with potties, with only one toilet in the house it would have been impossible any other way

not to get stressed about development and schooling, two June baby early boys teaches you that at school, every achievement is worth having and they will not be at their peers

SantanaLopez · 12/07/2014 14:01

Thanks for this thread, I'm in my middle trimester with twins and getting a bit worried about coping!

Balaboosta · 27/09/2014 20:24

You can mix breast and bottle.
You can mix breast and bottle.
And you can mix breast and bottle.

slightlyinsane · 27/09/2014 22:34

Ha ha ha ha balaboosta fantastic mantra and so true, its the only thing that's got me through so far with 3 others to look after.

littleomar · 28/09/2014 18:36

compared to the pregnancy, the birth and first 11 months have seemed like a piece of piss.

Diamondsareagirls · 30/09/2014 08:53

Totally agree with mixing breast and bottle. I was told by so many people it would stop them breastfeeding - it didn't and allowed DH to help out a bit with a formula feed whilst I fed the other one.

Diamondsareagirls · 30/09/2014 08:53

Totally agree with mixing breast and bottle. I was told by so many people it would stop them breastfeeding - it didn't and allowed DH to help out a bit with a formula feed whilst I fed the other one.

Diamondsareagirls · 30/09/2014 08:53

Totally agree with mixing breast and bottle. I was told by so many people it would stop them breastfeeding - it didn't and allowed DH to help out a bit with a formula feed whilst I fed the other one.