Bf'ing twins - on the verge of giving up :-(

[FindingTwinsHard]

I've already posted in the feeding forum but hope to get some more responses here.

Hi, I need some help/advice.

I've bf 2 other dc before until 1 year with no problems, so really didn't expect to find this so hard.

I'm trying to bf my 2 week old twins. I was tandem feeding, but dt1 is really difficult to get latched on, he fusses, takes a mouthful then just chews, rather than sucking. He's clearly hungry and gets very fretful. He's getting harder to feed - took me 30 mins this morning to get him to latch, then he fed for 5 mins.

I've tried for a few days to feed them one at a time which initially helped with getting a good latch and making them both less windy. But dt1 is getting worse again, and because he takes so long to feed, I often only get about 45 mins between him finishing and me needing to start feeding dt2 again. I'm exhausted. My milk supply is still good though, even in the evening.

Dts were fairly small at birth and despite a good start, dt1 is now losing weight, so I can't just carry on regardless. We have tried top-ups via cup which are ok, but not enough now to supplement dt1's poor feeds.

Dt2 is a better feeder, she fusses sometimes and falls asleep before she's full, but is generally ok. I'm just finding it impossible having a 'difficult feeder' when there's 2 babies to look after.

I'm on the verge of giving up bf with dt1, but not sure the alternatives will be any easier as I'd like to keep bf dt2 as long as she wants.

Has anyone tried bottle feeding one twin and bf the other, either with expressed milk or formula? I don't see how that will be any easier, other than dt1 getting a full tummy.

Grateful for any help.

Also the bit about smiles - I reckon that is part of the evolutionary process. You are just at the stage where you are wondering why the hell you are doing all this when suddenly you get those delightful smiles and it somehow makes it worthwhile. Timing is just perfect to make you put in the extra effort needed to get through the really exhausting phase.

I think the early days with twins are a blur nevermind less than enjoyable. I defy anyone to actually remember them . Just wanted to add my support. You are doing brilliantly. I had just twins, nevermind adding an older one into the mix. I just wanted to say that everyone is different there is no "right" way to feed twins. Everyone is different. I never got the hang of tandem feeding, I always fed them separately. I know people say vary the position, but I had exactly the same position at each feed and each baby had the same boob each time. Girl on the left, boy on the right (and I kept to that for 11 months) which I think was better for my babies as they developed a technique so to speak and were used to the hold. Can your H do the winding / changing etc in the night so that you are literally only doing the feeding? (When one of them used to get unsettled, H used to get up, change them, then pass them to me. I would feed Twin 1 whilst he changed Twin 2. I'd then feed Twin 2 whilst he winded and settled Twin 1. I would then wind Twin 2 and settle him). Meant that although I was feeding separately, by H doing some of the extra jobs, we both got some sleep.

Aarghhh! After 2 better days of feeding, dt1 is back to refusing to latch, meanwhile dt2 is feeding every 2 hours!

oh god, it's often like that, isn't it!! you think it's getting better than you have a difficult day!

how are things since saturday? hope you're ok!

Dt1 still not feeding too well, and at night they are both pretty unsettled, I'm not sure they are getting enough milk at night now? If I give a bottle of expressed milk they settle much more quickly. I'm seriously thinking of changing to expressing for all feeds to speed things up and let other people do some feeding too.

How long do most people manage to give twins breast milk? It's so hard with 2!!

I fed my twins until they were two BUT I gave DTD 2 bottles of formula a day from 8 wks to about 8 months. DTS wouldn't take a bottle so he didn't have it, but it gave me a break from the intensity of it all, and meant that I knew DTD would be putdownable at certain stages in the day because she was full up and settled.

I gave the formula after the school run in the morning, and at about 4pm so I had a fighting change of cooking tea for the big kids in peace - it kind of worked! By the time solids were establised at 8 months ish we phased out the formula feeds and I just breast fed her again, until she self weaned just before two. DTS fed for a few months longer until I gently weaned him at 2 and a bit.

I firmly believe that it is better to give a small amount of formula to remain sane, than to push yourself so hard to ebf that you then give up completely because it's all too much.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

My dtg was a pretty crap feeder too. It's hard.

you body is capable of priducing enough for two so try not to worry that you don't have enough milk as you most likely do! Having said that, that was my main worry for the first few weeks too! Your supply is still getting established, so the more they feed, the mire it ll get stimulated.
I think expressing a lot would add more work for you rather than less and seeing as you've done it with singletons, remember how ibreast feeding gets much easier after the initial couple of months.
It might be a good idea to express or formula feed one feed a day though, just to give you a much needed break. I did this for the bedtime feed, ebm when I'd had time / energy to express, formula if not. Dtg started bottle refusing after a few weeks so it was only dtb who had it but it was still a relief having someone else feeding him.

Hope your night wasn't too bad and that today is ok xx

I did feed my twins for a week shy of a year. The first 8 weeks were unbelievable hard but I was personally determined to do it. DTS had some formula for the first 5 weeks until he got latching well following an 80% TT snip at 8 days. But I found the thought of bottles just another tedious thing to do and preferred camping out on the sofa with two sleeping babies on me. I used infacol for about 10 weeks for DTD every feed which helped the wind.

BUT I didn't have an older one so had the luxury of not having to do anything else.

Thanks for all the replies.

So I've managed another 2 weeks (and a bit) since I thought I was going to give up bf! It has got a bit easier and quicker, though dt1 still has a rotten latch, but he is gaining weight now at a decent rate.

I'm so glad I persevered, even though I'm still taking it a day at a time. I don't think I can do this long term (I want to free myself up a bit more for the bigger kids), but certainly aim for a few more weeks, and it feels more do-able now.

Thanks for the support!

Well done for keeping going!!! And glad to hear things are a bit easier. Hope it's still going ok xx

My babies were born 13 days ago and establishing feeding has been hell. DT2 was in special care and we had to give her formula, first through a tube, then through a cup. DT1 struggled to latch and when she did bit ferociously. She was topped up by cup. Milk took 5 days to come in and expressing was tough. The big breakthrough for me was using a nipple shield. For DT2 I hand expressed to fill the cup and she then was able to latch. This is working quite well at the moment. For DT1 it's helping ease the pain of her feeding. Topping up EBM and both seem ok with breast and bottle at the moment.